Posted 5/19/2016 8:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone, glad some are having nice days, I'm still feeling very anxious, the pain scares me, but trying to just get on with things as best I can. Have a week off work at the moment and am staying with my parents. Ex-gf has been on my mind recently, I miss her and have been feeling upset about it. Maybe that has something to do with this pain.
Myself - I hear what you say about fibro, some of my symptoms are quite similar though the musclo-skeletal pain I have in my back is very minor, I don't think I have fibro itself. But part of me is just so unwilling to accept that stress causes my pain to get worse because I just don't want it to. It makes me scared to do anything stressful and I don't want to be like that. But I try hard to accept the fact now, there is nothing I can do about it, resisting it hasn't helped, looking for some other explanation hasn't helped, and all the relaxation exercises in the world don't prevent it, though they may help me cope. I have to just stop fighting it and accept that I will be in pain and often I wont have control over when it comes and goes. It's hard, and it makes me angry, I feel like I've been dealt a bad hand, it's not fair, and when I see other people out and about I just think of all they have that I don't.
But I'm getting more aware of all this negativity in my head, therapy is helping, but after 8 months it seems like this is going to be a long and slow process. Still, my belief in myself that I can cope with this feels better than it was a few months ago and while my symptoms are constantly moving and changing making it impossible to monitor any progress, I am feeling more able to go out and do some things that I was around christmas time. So that's something.
I'm doing a bit of writing for a novel at the moment, it's keeping me a bit busy and my mind on other things, giving me a bit of escape.