Still No Job...

I am feeling particularly low today. I am anxious and depressed - which is never a good combo.

I heard back from a job I really wanted; they offered the job to someone else. I asked for constructive feedback, and they told me that I was "a strong candidate" and that it had come down to a decision between the two of us.

PLEASE don't tell me I should be happy that I ALMOST got this job. I feel awful. It stings so much more when I know that I was that close and still didn't get it. It does feel personal. I had no other irons in the fire.

Compounding this, I don't have health insurance. I moved out of state, and can't be covered by my parents anymore (though even that was a stretch). I want to give up.

I understand being down and losing out on jobs, believe me. How hard it is to get up and try again, after being let down. The feeling of failure and dread and loss.

Many have had this feeling since 2007,when the crash first hit.

I resigned my job in May 2013. Since then, I have not worked in my field. I have averaged 8-10 applications a week, for all manner of jobs, including some I have been overqualified for. I have worked three different part-time jobs. I worked for a contractor for four months--and was not hired on. I got a job last week that I am not only qualified for, but can actually succeed in. August 2016--In total, I looked for 38 months. I went for 6 months sans insurance--but got it in January of 2014 under ACA. I have two chronic conditions. In those 6 months, I spent about 2500 a month in medications alone.

So, yeah, I get the desire to stay on the couch and veg. I have done my share of navel-gazing. A little mourning and grief is allowed.

My point is not to say "Poor baby--put on your big person pants." You are saying this to yourself. It is to say, simply, finding meaningful work is hard work in itself. And luck. You can only affect one of these two things. And it ain't luck. Yes, it can take years to implement your plan. That's hard, but it is truth. That's adult life. You can let the depression make choices for you,or you can choose to move forward, despite the depression.

And, remember--I get it.

I am in a similar situation. I have been able to get a job in nine months, so frustrating. Interview after Interview, but always we decided to go with another candidate. Job hunting is a farce and a sham, so many temp agencies so few jobs. I have been working on continued education and biding my time with other things like reading and watching some tv. So hang in there I am in the same boat, just a little farther back. Stay strong.

You got to not give up. Keep trying... Keep at it. Move forward. You will get a job, just don't stop trying. I know it is hard and frustrating. But it will be worth it in the end.

Hugs, Karen...