Daily Check In Thread For All... #148

Heheh. I just went on the Internet to see if anyone had posted a zero to sixty video on YouTube for the Prius.

I found one, watched the dude launch, went to the washroom, and by the time I got back the car was all the way up to 42. Unfortunately I can't wait for him to hit 60 - I gotta try and get home before the hail starts.

;-)

I popped in for role call. here in spirit only!!!

Hot, Hot Hot!

11am it is 94, we are suppose to reach 107 today.

My pain level is a 7 already. I am going to reach how heat waves affect the barametric pressure and why even when I am inside, it effects me.

Bought some books on ebay this am, Faulkner and Fitzgerald. Can not see any new one worth the 35.00.

I have a the last Trilogy from Ken Follett, however the amount of characters to follow overwhelmed me in the first book. I will have to wait until I am better and the PTSD is much calmer.

This increases my anger at the family, it is a ***** what the did to me.

Anyway on the bright side. I have revised my thinking on a quilt I am making. Was sewing sweaters on a flat size of a fuzzy blanket. Did not like it, plus way to time consuming. Never did like 'quilting'

So I have a bunch of squares and rectangles crocheted for another throw, I am sewing them together and attach the two. It will be nice and heavy on the bed this winter.

Maverick or Goose presented us with a dead bird present last week at the back step. Really, not necessary. LOL

Both of them have the squirts from the heat, on rice and meds. Never thought I would be wiping my dogs butt as the enter the house!

Life is just on great adventure after another.

another positive is I am getting back to group. I am decided to step down from facilitating. Many reasons, in a nutshell, my PTSD is just kicking to high currently.

Enough, rambling.

Hope all stay cool, Peace and gentle hugs
Trina

Thanks Karen.

Since I am more or less house bound I need to stay busy after the house work is done, I only do what is needed, not the Donna Reed cleaning!

On 8/7 I was down, deep in my muck. So trying to climb out, I wrote this poem. Dark.

I thought I would post it here instead of out in the public area[?] so many sad people there. Did not want to throw it in any ones face.

WARNING THIS POEM CAN BE TRIGGERING.

I DO NOT THINK IS TRUE NOW, ONLY WHEN I WAS IN THAT NEGATIVE LOOPING.

We all can mindfully make decisions to change the outcome of negative situations. This in turn, cause the bad/dark not to repeat in that instance.

FOR IT REPEATS

Resting in this well known emptiness
I hear my breath, the only thing
truly mine.

I look emotionlessly inside of me;
there is nothing.
A yawing void.

Meditation eases the numbed gaze.
I am a soiled package of flesh.
Alone, I work hard to survive.

Trust is threadbare, will it withstand
another try?

Small victories arrive, positive seconds.

Verdicts have no meaning, for it
All repeats.

ME 8/7/16

I love my HW family/friends

In a black hole... flashlight keeps going out.

Sigh.

Hang on Lynnwood you are not alone!

Do you have any ice? Get it and Hold it if you do! It will hope in the moment so you can use other skills. Or splash cold water on your face.

I hate the darkness, only good thing about it, the light always follows!

Karen: In art class my senior year, I recently recalled the teaching saying. "Those of you I have talked to in private, have some kind of natural talent. What that is, no one will know until life happens to you. Good art, poems and literature come at the cost of suffering."

"The production of one or all of these, will be the compassionate dressing on your wound of suffering."

"Everyone else, you will suffer too, I suggest you try music or sports. Dismissed"

Not a warm and fuzzy teacher. I was once he talked to, thought he was full of crap, til now.

I really don't think holding ice is going to make the black cloud around my mind go away. Would that chemical problems in the brain could be solved so simply!

I'm quite high functioning, doing all the things I've learned - have had clinical depression since the 70's so have plenty of tricks in my basket.

Just wondering if anyone else shares the feeling of "blackness" I'm having. It's like looking at an old-fashioned photograph and instead of the white border they had there is a black one instead place. I mean, I look outside and it's a beautiful clear day, but it's like the colors are all muted and have lost their "pop".

I remember plenty of times of being low & listless that could be described in a multitude of ways - the periods of "why go on" and no energy and all that - but don't remember this particular black fog before.

This too shall pass.

Hi Hope!!! Glad you posted. I am glad you aren't nervous about driving. Sometimes I am but once I get going, I am okay usually.

We got a lot of rain here, three days. Was needed. But it dries up fast here. Sandy soil. Just glad it isn't hot hot hot....

Lynnwood, you need to get those tricks out and use them. Tools... I hope you feel better soon.

Trina, I hope you are feeling better too.

UA, same to you. I know you have been feeling pretty sick. Hope it gets better.

I hope you all had a good day!!!

Jamie, you should be getting up soon.

Hugs, Karen...

Hey Jamie, Sounds like you got quite a bit going on. /That is good. Best wishes with the uni gig. I know you enjoy it.'

Rainy looking here. Dreary and dark. We'll see.

Have a good day all!!!

HUgs, Karen....

yep trina. documented. ps. been dx with cervical-genic cephyalgia and brachyalgia-into the arms, shoulders. just had ct, see doc in a couple of weeks.

keep strong Lynwood, hi ua, char, jess, Karen, trina et al.

up. wee hours.

wee hours here for me too. 3.10am. I hear ya. hope ya okay.