depressed mother of twins...

Hi everyone,
I am a mom to my lovely twin daughters who are almost 2. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. However, I am struggling again with depression that's beginning to feel crippling. It teams up with anxiety, making me feel isolated and out of control with rambling fearful thoughts. I never would do anything hurtful to my daughters but I did hit myself in the head/face several times in front of them today for being frustrated with them crying non-stop before their nap. What is wrong with me? I know I have to be better for them. I have called my dr and he sent in my rx for Zoloft again. But I feel so hopeless that I'm not even sure it will help.
Anyone have any support for me?
Thanks in advance.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/22/2016 1:00:13 PM (GMT-6)

twinmommy:

You are so brave for writing in.

I was depressed for some time when helping raise our young son, and I've seen someone on this site wonder if an anti-depressant would make it difficult to work or to be a parent.

I recalled those days and wrote in to that post saying that an anti-depressant did not lower my ability to parent, it increased it, for I was not depressed.

I remember how hard it was to parent when I was depressed.

Please don't be hitting yourself in front of your children. They'll pick up on that really quick, and will do that, also.

Where did you learn that? Did your mother used to do that? You saw someone do that, and are repeating it.

Don't let it go down another generation.

I think you were told by a parental figure that you aren't any good, and are hitting yourself for being a bad person. You are not.

You need to get that out of your mind so that you don't "act out" your feelings.

You need to think positive going into a problem that you can solve it.

You can say, "One problem at a time, and be positive about that problem."

Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?