Posted 10/31/2016 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
Joyce:
I, too, am sorry to hear about your husband.
Six months ago is very recent.
Are you still trying to figure out how you'll make it on your own?
Were you very close to him?
My wife and I had our difficulties, very much. I wasn't worried about how I would make it without her, I was worried about how I would make it alone.
In addition to manic-depression, I also have a dependent personality, and even though she treated me bad, to put it mildly, she could still balance the checkbook, and things like that.
And she was another person in the house. I didn't know if I could make it in the house by myself. I married because I was having a lot of trouble (nervous breakdown 6 months before, living by myself), and I didn't want to live along under those circumstances.
Meaning, when my wife died, there I was alone again. And I didn't know if I would last 5 minutes by myself or what.
When I was able to get an OK night's sleep that first night after she had passed, I felt I had a better chance of making it by myself.
It's been 7 years since she died, and I know I can live by myself.
I also know as a senior citizen, with emotional problems, living by myself, makes me a prime target for everybody in the neighborhood and out. There was an unusual set of circumstances, but it seemed like almost everyone was coming down on me.
When I was married and there was 2 of us living in the house, that didn't happen. They wait until the number gets down to one, and then they attack.
Now, that's not 100 per cent accurate, but it's pretty close.
So, what is your situation? Did you have a good marriage?
What is the reality that you haven't come to grips with? That you're now living alone, after having been in a good marriage for a long time?
I am, saying, too, I think you should be more aware of security.