Struggling

I'm new to the group and decided today that I needed to reach out for some support. I'm struggling more than I have in a very long time. I've suffered from depression for over 25 years.

The struggle started not long after I relocated from my long time home in the Northwest to Texas to be close to family. I had myself so convinced that this was going to be such an easy transition and I would just be happier than anything. Boy how I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I made this move I did so without having a new job in place. I thought I would have no problem finding a job in three months or so. Fast forward six months and I'm still unemployed. Everyday I spend most of the day on the verge of tears. Every time I receive 'THE' phone call that I haven't been chosen for a position I feel like I plunge a little deeper into this dark hole. This week there are two jobs I'm supposed to hear back about and I don't know if I can handle another disappointment.

Lastly, my son moved down here with me and two months after we got here he left for college. I was not prepared for that at all. It's been him and I for so many years and I didn't know and still don't how to transition to a different kind of parenting now. I guess the whole empty nest thing is really kicking my butt.

I'm lost and hurting.

Blue
Welcome to the forum.

Moving is listed as.one of the top 3 most stressful things we can do in our life time, by many studies.

You are not alone, we moved interstate 7 times in the first 10 yrs of our marriage, we are on 26 now. To say I empathize with you is an understatement.

Here, are some suggestions to land a job. It is work and money for ink, paper and stamps, well worth it.

GO OLD SCOOL. Write a short concise, professional cover letter. Inquiring about positions.

No phone book these days, so Google companies in the field you are looking for. I was accounting, so I went far afield to a lot of businesses including 401k admin.

But most need reception. Accounts payablr, payroll
If you are a nurse. Synch to find one. You get the idea, right.

FLOOD THE area with resumes for every 20 sent out you may get a call. MOST businesses DO NOT spend to place adds anymore. A lot of positions go in house.

HOWEVER. A refreshing surprise of holding a piece of paper showing, good communication skills is priceless these days.

The other suggestion is go with temp agency. I was always hired on full time.

Chin up. You can do this
Peace
Trina

What is you field of work?

Make sure the money is there to make the move worth while. It might be better to stay and keep looking.

In this economy 6mos is not that long.

You might think of taking some courses to widen field of marketabilty

Not to knock you, but I hope you are more clear about your area of expertise than simply "My experience is in the energy sector." Even a guy that pumps gas for a living could say that!

My son is a U.S. Army veteran and imagine him putting "My experience is breaking into buildings and shooting people."!

How many of your skills are transferable to other professions? Can you type? Entry level data entry. Do you shop? Many stores now offer online ordering that the stores then have someone gather and bag for the customer. Did you change diapers? Certified Nurses Aides are always in demand and day care centers are always looking for responsible workers.

Life experience counts as much as professional experience these days. Not to mention that it's always easier to find a job once you already have a job. Best of luck to you. Keep posting and let us know how it goes.

Blue,

What else is making you raw, perhaps we can support and empathize with struggle.

I know you are feeling alone with the move and your son going to college.

However, you will make friends and find a job I am sure. I do not feel that moving again after just 6 mos. is the right decision. Of course I do not know the area in which you now live, I can only go by my experience in moving.

Being on the outside, and knowing Pitmom, I can say the posting was meant to help not hurt. I hope you can come to understand that some of us are more practical than others.

Peace
Trina

I used to tell people I worked in 'Energy' too, then I changed the descriptor to 'Oil & Gas', now I just say 'IT'. I find saying 'IT' scares people enough to end the conversation. ;-)

Sorry you feel so rudderless. I'm not a parent, so I can't comment on the empty nest thing, but I get the fear associated with unemployment. I'm one of the last people standing in our firm, but I'm not safe, and the thought of having to start over at 52 is scaring the crap out of me.

Are you a perfectionist?

I hope you can find your courage again. It's has to be there somewhere; you don't lift up your life and move without courage. In the meantime stay flexible, stay in the moment, go visit that family you moved closer to, and give yourself a break from the stress. Take a week off from job hunting and spoil yourself for awhile. You'll interview better if you're chilled out.

I was gonna say try medical weed, but don't you get 'the chair' for that in Texas? ;-)

Thank you for all the comments. I am very proud of my son going off to school and doing what he loves especially having watched all the struggles he has overcome in the last few years (in and out of inpatient psych twice and struggling with anxiety. plus he has aspergers and adhd). I also worry about him too given those things.

I think feeling so low right now has me constantly analyzing and worrying that I made the wrong decision to make this move. In some ways I thought this move would help me feel more settled and more connected in some ways. I was stressed and overwhelmed with my home and work life and feeling alone. Moving was not a new thing for me. Heck I grew up in a military family where moving was a way of life. I had transplanted many times growing up and thought I can do this again. But more times than not there is this internal voice that says you should just cut your losses and go back North.

I find myself feeling more alone and isolated than ever. I had hoped things would fall into place sooner than what it has thus far. I realize now that thinking this move would be a cure all for the issues I was struggling with was flawed at best. I've always been a worrier and over analyzer but I'm hypersensitive to everything going on and am beating myself up for the decision to move and my self value when each interview doesn't evolve into a job. I run through these self created lists of what part of me wasn't good enough or whether I said the wrong thing, didn't look the right way or smile enough. Whether the desperation that I'm feeling is bleeding through in every interaction that I have.

Every day I ask myself what is going to be my breaking point. Is it going to be the next rejection or that I just wake up one day and decide that I don't feeling like fighting today? I've become more numb as the time passes and every day there is this internal fight whether there is a point to putting a few more job applications in today or why I should get out of bed, shower and get dressed. Every motion feels more like I'm doing it because I think I should not because I want to or feel that there is a benefit to doing so.

Pitmom you are a supportive and important part of our family. Just like a speaker or pastor, not everyone is reached by one person. Each person connects with different people, no worries.

Blue, as for beating yourself up. I know that process well!

here is a link that may help you challenge that thought process:

www.mindful.org/turn-negative-emotions-into-your-greatest-source-of-strength-0/

Peace and strength
Trina

Thank you for the post pitmom. Yesterday was a rough day and I lashed out. I appreciate that you cared enough to post.....it's appreciated.

Bnotafraid thank you for the link.

MelissaG1 thank you for the welcome.

~ Michelle

Hey all, I'm a newby here and i am depressed! I've been thinking of crossing over the other side a little bit lately. I've not seen my psyche for a couple of weeks now because i was on holidays and when i got back she was away in Brisbane. I am feeling a little abandoned by her. Am i being selfish? 🙁🙁

Hi Nickily,

welcome to the forum.

You are most welcome to start your own thread so more members respond to you!

Your emotions are normal.

Please reach out for help if skills are not working.

Peace
Trina