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Posted 11/25/2016 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
there I am.

Trying to stay on a positive path is harder. Fear and worry is greater. So many job possibilities have petered out--I am over-qualified. I am having trouble getting away from the negative voice inside my head.
Posted 11/25/2016 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry Myself... Bummer... I know that in time you will find the right fit. I wonder if there are other areas that would match up with your qualification??? Have you thought about moving for work? Though in the populated area you live in, you would think that there were plenty of jobs out there, though obviously there isn't.

Hang in there sweetie. Things are going to change. I hope you do have enough resources for your medications. I know how much you need them.

Take care and try to keep looking up. We are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 11/25/2016 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
I try to lose myself every now and then too, although I'm not sure what I'd do if I looked in the mirror and someone else stared back at me.

I'm glad you're not giving up, M09. I honestly believe that something will line up somewhere. Of course that's easy for me to say, cuz I'm not the one doing all the work.

Enjoy your weekend. :)
Posted 11/26/2016 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
I just feel myself disconnecting more and more. It is not a good feeling. Jobs are just making me tired. I can't get entry-level anything, because employers steer away from the education. The online work is enjoyable--but it doesn't pay enough. Recently,I have been sending out applications for more online educational work. I sent one yesterday that would be good--a teaching gig on the edge of my specialization--with a good and reputable online university. My main area is a no go--because it doesn't work online. You kinda really have to be face to face. I have a list of others to apply to, as well. In history and English, and a writing tutor.

Circumstances are really wearing me down. No job--BF taking a programming class but not working at the moment. Our reliable car dead and buried. Not working out or modifying my eating,sending too much time playing stupid on-line strategy games. Dwelling on past mistakes and self-hating.
Posted 11/26/2016 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Myself, I am so sorry. Do you think some one on one therapy would help? Give you somebody to bounce things off of? I am sure that the support would help. Just a thought.

I hope some of the online work helps you. I feel real sad for your situation, but I know things will get better for you. Try to stay in the moment especially during the holiday season. It is easy to get real down this time of year. Maybe the other stuff could go on the back burner for now???

I really hope that things get better soon. Know you can email me if you need to talk. I can always listen.

I Hope your day gets better Myself. Try to hang in there, take a break from it if you can.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 11/27/2016 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
Myself

I am feeling your pain.

ALL I CAN offeR is to do list, set timer on phone.
Stops me from obsessive behavior. Ie. Games

Peace
Trina
Posted 11/27/2016 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thinking about you, M09. You're smart enough, wise enough, and resourceful enough to figure out how to make this work. In the meantime, I'll keep buying lottery tickets.

If I win big, I might get you a Tesla as a Prius offends my 'drill baby, drill' sensibilities. ;-)
Posted 11/28/2016 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry you are going through this, Myself. I can't add too much but my hope that something turns around for you. I know how things can seem overwhelming; please remember how talented you are in so many things.
I hope this week goes better.
Posted 11/28/2016 3:19 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, friends. It helps to be able to panic, openly.

Apparently, another Tesla dealership is opening up here, or so I read in the paper over the weekend.

Yesterday was okay. Football, nice breakfast, took a 10 mile ride, and made another step in solving my horrific UC constipation issue. It helped significantly to get out. I just put in another job application-this a full-time online teaching job in cultural history.

I also have started my next medication step-down. This is my second time with trying to walk back the ambien I take. I went from 10 mg to 7.5 last night--I woke up several times, but managed to get back to sleep.

Be well, all. And thanks again.
Posted 11/28/2016 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
I bet that the waking up had a lot to do with the anxiety of cutting back on the medication. I cut mine in half and they worked just as good as a whole one for me. I got off of them rather easily. I hope you can too.

I got a feeling about the cultural history job. I hope that you get it. Hang in there, as you have been. I am glad you feel comfortable venting here, it does help a lot just to jot things down and get some support.

You are a good person Myself, things are going to work out.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted Yesterday 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
I Hope things land where you need them to Myself9.
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