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Does anyone ever feel they are spinning their wheels?

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Posted 12/7/2005 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
I was laid off my job that I really liked in October. I worked for a wholesale company in the retail/gift industry and times are tough right now.  Even though I loved working there, unfortunately, there was no place to move up or any type of promotion opportunity..basically another dead end job.  I seem to have had dead end jobs most of my life and have never kept a job for longer than three years..mostly due to depressive episodes or being layed off..or becoming depressed and walking out..(this was mostly in my early twenties, when I didn't have many cares in the world).

I then decided to go back to college at the age of 32 and got my Associates degree while working part time, seasonal or temp jobs..and it took me four years to get the degree, all while not taking any medications for depression and looking back, I am not sure how I did it.  Then I decided to keep going and it took another five years while working part time jobs to get my Bachelor's.  I thought I would finally get that well paying job and job success that I have searched so hard to get.  However, when I graduated three years ago, the economy was not good, and I have to get another very low paying job (dead end job that only paid $11.50 hour - at the gift company).

I was then laid off in October, and then finally things turned around for me and I was offered a position with one of the largest investment company's in the world making in the mid thirties (which after $9 - 10.00 hour jobs all my life, seemed like terrific great money).  It was a terrific opportunity with so much growth potential.  However, it ended up being too much and overwhelming for me, and I decided after five weeks of very intensive and grueling training, that the financial and investment career path was not right for me and I just can't seem to get get excited about 401K's, stocks, options, bonds, enough to help customers with their money.  Also they tape record you at the company and heavily regulated and it was hard on me knowing I was being tape recorded and then having them go over the tape recording with me and how I sounded, and I felt very intimated, and that I could not be myself and shine on the phones, as I have in previous customer service positions.  It is a great company, and I am feeling lousy that I had to resign...but I did not want to waste my time or theirs..and I felt overwhelmed with having to go through series 7 and 63 training and passing those tests.

I feel I am spinning my wheels in life, and at 43 years old just not getting anywhere, and just feeling plain old bad about myself.  I haven't held a job long enough to have any savings or retirement and I am frightened of what will become of me when I retire..or will have to work the rest of my life.  I know I will eventually find another job, but I still feel somehow as I have failed in life and at jobs, relationships..just can't seem to hold on to either.  I hate this disease.. (depression, and Seasonal Affective Disorder, Anxiety) frustrated with counseling, medications, losing my health insurance and just my life in general right now.  I really just needed to vent.  Sorry this was long..thanks to all who read this far and for listening.

Posted 12/8/2005 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Try applying for government or hospital jobs. First, they list with state unemployment offices, so it's not hard to see what is available. Second, you still have enough time to get in on a retirement--and perhaps reasonably priced insurance--which both offer. Third, the work puts you in a slot, which can be very comfortable--and at the same time there will be other openings with the potential for advancement.

That's what I did and the great thing about it, is that I got offered an early out at 15 years. The other who was offered an early out too--at 30 years--wound up in retirement with just a tad bit more income than I have.

I have always been thrifty and not particularly worried about money, even at 46--when I went to work for government. Then one day I sat down and figured out that I wouldn't have enough to live on. It looked like I would have to work 30 years to 76 years old and I didn't want to do that. I responded by just getting more thrifty--and low and behold--it all worked out. I'd forgotten to include the auto-raises or calculate based on the final pay. In addition to that I got a generous severance pay.

Like James73 said in another post, you just have to start.

bev
Posted 12/9/2005 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Bev - I may try that..the only thing about Hospitals and Government is so much bureacracy..and that is why I left my last job. Many times I have gone to Government offices, and the employees are indifferent, uncaring and rude..and I know this sounds terrible but being inside hospitals make me even more depressed and anxious.
Posted 12/9/2005 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
Well, I'd skip hospitals then. I worked for the government, but I maintained my "real world" work ethics. No one has to be indifferent, uncaring, or rude--but I sure had fun teasing, pestering, and harassing some who were.

Seriously try to work in a governement job. It is steady. For me it was also more fun than any other job I ever had. It had it's ups and downs too. I sometimes had to put up with poor leadership and see people treated unfairly--but I stuck it out and I'm glad I did.

bev
Posted 12/9/2005 5:27 PM (GMT 0)
I may give it a try..not sure with depression..if I could cope with being treated unfairly or deal with poor leadership though..thanks again for the great advice!

I enjoy being on the phones all day and helping people (rather than in person) and I am wondering what Government jobs are out there, for customer service, call center work, etc. Do you know where I could get any more information on what kind of jobs there might be for me?
Posted 12/9/2005 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
Actually, you will probably be more upset by seeing others get mistreated. Where I was, it was almost like each of us had to take our turns being under the gun--and that was under many different people in charge. It just seemed to go with the territory.

The beauty of government work is the structure. I'm prefer working alone or with just a few people around. My first job was with about 30 people. I transferred to another where I basically worked for one person with a couple other people who hung around doing little. I transfered from it, when I met the fellow who would be my new boss. My third transfer was to an office with one other person. We worked for one man, but we provided office type services for about 100 others. Actual contact with others was daily, but rare and brief. It was perfect for me, and I homesteaded that position. Later they moved me into a space where I came in contact with many other people, but I didn't have to work with them. It meant adjusting to noise and confusion, which I did.

I chose and stuck to baby-easy jobs, because I wanted to focus on what was left of my family and relationships. I found a lot of satisfaction in what I did, not because of the work, but because of the one thing I didn't want--to be around a lot of people.

With what you are saying about your preferences, you might think about starting slow--in a position like I had--as an office twit--less pressure. If you decide to look for a position below what you can get with your degree, you will need to take a Civil Service test (for fed gov). They are only offered occasionally (and they are baby easy). I don't know if state or local governments have something similar.

All government jobs are listed with state employment offices. Most, if not all states, put their lists on the internet. The key is to get your foot in the door--hang on for a while--and then transfer around until you find the right place for you. So I would try for the largest government office available to you--where they will have divisions--which can get to be quite small and aim for them. Just hang on for dear life, keeping in mind what life will be like when you are 63, if you don't.

bev
Posted 12/10/2005 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
I totally understand the spinning your wheels!! I've been looking for a "decent" job since 12/2004. I was laid off on my last job which I went to after leaving my job of 13 years due to the "greener grass" syndrome.
Now I'm interviewing for a $9 an hour job on Monday at a funeral home!
But,with Christmas right next door,I don't have much of a choice I'm willing do do and take just about anything.
Posted 12/11/2005 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Bevhea for all the great info! You really should be a life coach..you have so much to offer people! ShynSassy, - I am sorry to hear about your lay off. I hope you are getting unemployment. I did the same thing..got laid off my job that I really enjoyed but complained a lot about because of low pay back in October...thought it was great that I was going to a mid 30's paying job, only to get belittled there. So, I learned a very valuable lesson, in that it is not always about the money, and the pasteur's are not always greener.
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