Posted 5/9/2017 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
My aunt who passed away recently was the only sibling of my father. They had a childhood fraught with moving, separations between their parents, being dropped off with family members (and periodically strangers.) Their father was mercurial--their mother practical but self-centered.
They both grew up to be alcoholics. Were my grandparents drinkers? No way to tell--though my grandmother would have been pretty functional.
My father never stopped drinking. He had an ulcer--and gave up cigars and hard liquor to try to keep it in check. He had high anxiety. His marriage tanked, and his children were distant. He loved to dance and to listen to Dixieland. He was clearly self-medicating. Like his father before him, Dad never managed to really become successful, full of self-doubt and a lack of drive.
My aunt stopped drinking,and joined AA in the 1980s. Her anniversary dates show a few lapses, but she celebrated 28 years of sobriety before her death. She channeled her anxiety into her career,and the things she loved. Her animals were her companions. She cooked and gardened. She was heavily involved in local politics, her small town, and her church. She loved her friends. She was always up for a challenge. She took the energy and anxiety,and built something beautiful and fiercely individual with it. In other words, she embraced the fear, and seems to have largely succeeded at keeping the monsters at bay.