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Afraid about my Son

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Posted 9/16/2017 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
It's a long time since I posted on this forum, but I need to do so today

My Son and I had an argument a few days ago. It wasn't that serious (I thought). Just about how he cut the lawn

Today he came to my home and was extremely angry....
He's 55 years old but I heard things that I never knew were a problem in the past.
Then ....screaming that he didn't want to live, he left.

It's now five hours. I've tried to call him, a dozen times...but no answer and his message box was full.

I even tried calling a suicide help line...but was put on hold for ten minutes so I gave up.

I'm just heartbroken and afraid. I don't know what to do.

I know nobody who reads this can help, but I just had to share my grief and fear.

~Joyce
Posted 9/16/2017 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
That's terrible Joyce. Remember, none of this is on you, and there can be hundreds of reasons that your son isn't replying so focus on the alternatives. If you're not a 'talk about stuff family' he could just be embarrassed. Breathe deep.
Posted 9/16/2017 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks F27 for your support

I'll try to 'breathe deep'...but I've got Emphysema, so the lungs are not doing too well
Posted 9/16/2017 10:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hmmmm ... how about BEEEEEEEG STRETCH? Seems to work for me almost as well as deep breath.

Keep thinking positively. I'm sending good thoughts for you into the ether. smile
Posted 9/16/2017 11:27 PM (GMT 0)
Stretch would be nice....but I fell down the outside stairs last weekend and am bruised from chest to ankle. This old timer is quite a mess.

Think I'll just go lay down. See you tomorrow....and hope I have good news
Posted 9/17/2017 12:36 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Joyce, So nice to read your posts but so sad for the reason. I am sorry for what you are going through, I know you are worried. Hopefully he is somewhere cooling off.

Please let us know how it is going. If you hear from him or not. Know we are all here for you.

Saying prayers and sending good vibes.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/17/2017 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
Karen....so special to read the reply from you.
Can't sleep. Usually bed time is 7:30 (after Jeopardy)....it didn't help that there was a fireworks finale at local arboretum and the noise sounded like thunder.

Yes, I will keep you informed about the situation.

I'll pay the price for a stupid thing I did
Since I didn't connect with the help line in my panic mode II decided to try and track his phone to see where he went.. Went with a source on the computer. Supposed to be just $1 for seven days.

Their report had him in a mall parking lot some distance away.
(Decided best NOT to go there)
I did cancel with the company....at least I hope I did

Then I get a call from my credit card company wanting to verify the charge. Whew.

Hope tomorrow is a 'better day'
~Joyce
Posted 9/17/2017 6:49 AM (GMT 0)
many healing thoughts my dear friend.
Posted 9/17/2017 9:40 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, Jamie....appreciate hearing from you.

I did receive a reply to my email from my Son. At least I know he is still with us.
Posted 9/17/2017 10:01 AM (GMT 0)
Interesting Joyce, I didn't know you could track people like that. Must have to do with the gps. I hope all is well with him. I am sorry for what you are going through right now. I hope things smooth over.

I haven't been getting up as early as I use to. I get up but don't stay up. Too tired I guess.

I hope things get better Joyce, it is still nice seeing you post.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/17/2017 11:29 AM (GMT 0)
Good morning, Karen

We both have a similar procedure. I get up....but then go back to bed for a few hours. I'm finally about to 'start' my day. I too hope things get better

This is the message I got from my son this morning;;;;;

"I am in the worst mood of my life and it would be best if you left me alone for the time being. There is nothing you can do or say which will help me at this point. It's on me to work it out, and once I've worked it out, I'll let you know. .Thank you"
Posted 9/17/2017 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
I guess that is better than not hearing from him at all. At least you know he is still alive and kicking. I hope he gets his problems sorted out soon. It is probably that he needs meds or therapy at this point, but I don't know about suggesting it or how to without him getting upset. I am just happy you heard from him.

Hang in there Joyce, Know we are here for you.

Sounds like you aren't feeling the best. I am still fighting with cigarettes. I am smoking about half of what I would normally smoke, but none would be better. I just hope I don't wait too long to stop. Breathing isn't the best at this point. But I am still breathing anyway. Just get short of breath at times.

I hope you have a better day today. Knowing your son is okay at least. Again I am sorry for what you are going through.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/17/2017 1:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,
Yes son J has had depressive symptoms pretty much all his life.
He did need hospitalization after an episode and had therapy and medication some years ago. Perhaps will suggest such again.

I know what you mean about the cigs...If I was younger ...YOUR AGE....I'd give 'em up. Now they are my salvation some days. My breathing has deteriorated dramatically and probably should use oxygen...but what doctor would prescribe when I'm still puffing.

So lady....thanks again for 'being there'. Will update if any changes.
~ Joyce
Posted 9/17/2017 6:21 PM (GMT 0)
(email from my son a few minutes ago. At least some improvement. I replied and suggested he contact previous therapist )

"I'm feeling better than yesterday and would stop by but I seriously feel like garbage and want to do nothing more than curl up and sleep, which I am going to do".

Post Edited (PA_grandma) : 9/17/2017 12:24:23 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/17/2017 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad to hear that things have calmed down somewhat. There is so much stress when things blow up quickly. It helps to know that at least he is cooling off. Do you have other children?
Posted 9/17/2017 8:27 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, Myself...
I have another son two years younger. He and his brother have never been close.

Youngest son has taken control of the business I started over forty years ago.
He calls me everyday to check that I'm OK since my husband died.
His wife died ten years ago and he has raised his two daughters alone..
Posted 9/17/2017 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
Joyce, I also am glad that things have calmed down a bit. It is hard not to worry. I hope he goes in for some help soon. I am glad you have the younger son to help with the business.

Day coming to an end, I hope you get restful sleep.

Take care Joyce...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/18/2017 2:49 PM (GMT 0)
I haven't heard from my son this morning. His car is gone, so I hope he went to work.
Below is the last message that I sent to him yesterday'

I love you and always will --
I'll respect your need for space right now but am concerned about the amount of pain you are experiencing and suggest you contact your previous therapist to get some help --
I'll be here when you are ready."
Posted 9/18/2017 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds good Joyce, I hope that he takes the message to heart.

As you know, it is up to him to get help. All anyone else can do is support and be there. It is hard I know. But you are doing a good job at being supportive.

Hang in there the best that you can.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/18/2017 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
Just got this email from my Son! I hope he finds some solace
~Joyce

Finding a professional to talk to would indeed be a good idea. I'll make that happen.
Posted 9/18/2017 9:36 PM (GMT 0)
That's great, Joyce! Being willing to find help is definitely the first step to improving the situation! I'm sure this makes you feel MUCH better.
Posted 9/18/2017 9:56 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, it does help, Lynnwood...Not 'much' ...but at least SOME

I feel we still have a long road to travel. I wish he was able to see me face to face.

~Joyce
Posted 9/19/2017 1:26 PM (GMT 0)
It sounds like your Son is "ready" to get help. You must be so relieved. I lost an Uncle and a Sister to "S" in a 2 year period. I'm so glad you heard back from him with such encouraging words.
Posted 9/19/2017 1:48 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Kelly....sure hope there are some continued encouraging developments.

Sorry to learn about your loss. We also had the same situation.....my husband's brother and nephew to "S" last year. Still hard to believe.

~Joyce
Posted 9/19/2017 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
Did hear from my son this morning.. It's a 'start'.

I will stop by either today or tomorrow. To be honest I'm not going to want to spend too much time at the moment reconciling or soul-searching, but rather a return to normalcy.
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