Sexual Problems

Hi all

Was wondering whether any men here have gone through something similar to what I'm experiencing at the moment.

I've recently started seeing a woman and having sex for the first time since my depression really started to hit about 5 years ago. It hasn't been a smooth experience to say the least and I'm pretty sure something isn't working right but not sure what. The problem seems to be with the little man staying up to the task. I'm pretty sure there is no physical problem as I can get erections and everything, so I'm wondering how much my depression is affecting it.

At first I thought maybe it's just some performance anxiety, and my female friend was very understanding about it. She knows I get nervous very easily so we carried on trying. But it just seems to be something else happening because it doesn't just happen with her, it happens when I'm on my own as well. I can be really enjoying myself but cannot keep the erection, even if I go right to orgasm, it will come back a few seconds before the end.

We finally managed to have sex but even during I was not at 100%, more like hovering between 75% and 90%. But I was still really enjoying it. After 5 years it's a little hard for me to remember to be honest what sex was like before but I'm sure I never had this much issue keeping it up.

I'm wondering whether it's just the underlying depression I've been recovering from affecting me. It's hard to know because since I started with it I have barely had sex as I didn't really feel up to it. I've been on my current depression medication for a couple of years now. It's a fairly low dose as I tried to go higher but had side effects with heart palpitations. I'm wondering whether it could be the medication causing problems but at the same time this medicine really helped one of my physical symptoms and I also don't want to halt progress by unnecessarily switching ADs.

My doctor wasn't really much help when I discussed it with them. They asked some questions to rule out a physical problem then just said it was an emotional problem. But that doesn't really help me deal with it. I discussed it a little with my dad (awkward...) who has had depression and he had sexual issues with it, but he said he just couldn't have sex at all, the little man didn't work. My problem seems a bit different.

getting by said...
Have you tried Viagra or anything else like that? What is your age? It could very well be the medication, but other things can factor into that. I would talk to the doc about the Viagra or something like it.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen...

Hi

No never tried anything for it. I'm only 31 so don't know if that's a bit young to be considering it. I guess if all else fails it may come to it.

Hi Andy

Men are not the only ones with this issue.

There are women like myself who during the course of healing realize they have always, always faked, ya know.

It is hard to stop the override of protective actions by our minds and medications.

My STRONG suggestion is m e d i t a t i o n.

Even if you have to do 1-2 mins of grounding breathing in the bathroom before activities. A clear mind is a fun mind.

I meditate daily for many things. Chronic pain, anxiety etc... and yes intimacy. Even if it is cuddling.
Takes a little while to feel the impact of the meditating [there are many diff types of meditation] however when it hits you, you have this feelings of control.

You immediately pull a short meditation out of you back pocket to help you when needed. Hint: You do not have to be seated in the lotus position to meditate.

I hope this helps you.
Trina

yep, it's all about the relaxation.

i'd go back to the shrink, or discuss it. ncot is correct, a lot of ssri's are notorious for this. sometimes a med combo can do this as well. i found this out with a water works tablet. it will pass.