I have come to the conclusion depression is like a black mass that sits silent and slowly starts to well up, with that I have paranoia, I am occasionally get paranoid that no one loves me and they want to hurt me. I see a therapist every month or so. So I do talk to someone I take natrual meds and remedies for it. When I was on prescribed rx drugs I was like a robot my personality and soul was lost. I manage it most of the time, but sometimes it wells up. I am pregnant and I think sometimes the surge of hormones makes me extra nuts. Anyway I constantly think my husband doesn't love me or want me anymore he works construction and is gone almost all of the time. I feel ugly the bigger I get. He tells me I am beautiful all the time I don't believe him. I think he's cheating on me when he's gone and it scares me. I know I truly have no power if he was, I guess inside I think I would. It makes think terrible negative thoughts and have unwarranted anger towards him. I am tired of the emotionally roller coaster I feel at times. If I keep myself busy most of the time I don't even notice it.
