Scary emergency visit to therapist today

Hi guys. I'm a "little" bit freaked out tonight. I had an emergency session today with my therapist. For the past week and-a-half to two weeks I have been having serious anxiety that just never lets up. The churning inside has made me feel like I was going insane as well as other things I can't expand on here.

Today we talked about my work schedule and how I start working at 6:00 am and between that and my second job do not finish till about 10:00 pm each night. I haven't been getting much sleep, and she said I was clearly agitated and for the 18 years I have been seeing her (yes, I'm 50) she has never seen this before.

She wanted me to go to the ER and see if I could get into a partial hospitalization program. I very quickly shot that down. I have NEVER done anything like that before! I must be bad enough for her to suggest that. It has scared the daylights out of me! But I can't consider it anyway. How would I possibly be able to keep my two jobs going and get my bills paid?

She gave me some Xanax and told me to go home and go to bed. She doesn't think I should go into work into my main job tomorrow either. But I'm afraid to call out again. She wants me to follow up with her tomorrow. I don't know if I'm looking for any of you to say anything in particular. But I'm totally scared at the moment. I just woke up an hour ago and I'm about to teach my second online class. Thank god, the Xanax worked enough to pull me back together enough to teach this.

Thanks for listening. Cass

Sweetie--I understand this. Juggling is hard--especially when some small part of the support system that is held together with masking tape and spit begins to crack. But--if you have been with her for so long... Life is very hard for the working poor.

Hmmm ... sounds very much like what I was going through last August. My shrink astutely declared me as being sleep deprived. Lots of tests and lots of money later, I had a bunch of test results in hand that confirmed the diagnosis. I had to change depression medication and do a bunch of other stuff, but, in the end, I started feeling much better.

No advice, just commiseration. The old adage "you don't know what you have 'till it's gone" is especially true when it comes to sleep.

Good luck to you, Cass.

Thank you everyone for your caring and responses. I am feeling a good bit better. The Xanax made a big difference. It finally took away the majority of the incredibly awful anxiety that never stopped. I am still tired, depressed and feeling a bit defeated, but I am calmer.

I also take Prozac and Trazodone. The problem was, that I have not been getting enough sleep because I was working, and when I took the Trazodone I was sleeping through my online classes that I needed to teach. Obviously, that is not a good thing. If I had missed one more class, I could have lost my job. So, I stopped taking the Trazodone. And that was obviously a bad move, because that is when the anxiety started building up like never before.

My therapist gave me a "cut-off" time of 10:00 pm. If I can't take it before then, I will not take it at all. But in the interest of feeling better, I am trying very hard to take the lowest dose of it every night..

Thank you all for caring, and for also following up again with me Myself. Again, I am better. I'm just feeling a bit defeated.

Cass