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So sick of morning depression

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Posted 9/8/2018 1:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I'm Rich, aka Older Guy,

I wake up depressed a lot of mornings. My mood usually changes at some point. Today is one of the hard days. I usually go to an Al-Anon meeting on Saturdays at 11:45. Don't know if I will make it today. It's important that I go in terms of being around other people in a healthy way. But I just don't know if I can make it.

I am sitting here feeling very alone. I texted a couple of friends. Mostly I just wanted to check in here as I try to work myself out of this depression.

Thanks for listening,
Love, Rich
Posted 9/8/2018 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Rich,

Sometimes we have to give ourselves a little push. You can always leave the meeting if you need to. But then again some restful times by ourselves helps too.

I went to lunch yesterday with my cousin. It was hard. I did find myself taking a Xanax before I went but towards the end, the place got loud and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. But I did go. And I am glad I did.

I find it hard to leave my home. I just went for a walk around the block. It took me awhile to get going, but again, I did it. Now I am ready to take my shoes off and put pajamas back on. But I am going to try to stay dressed. Except for the shoes, they got to come off.

I am glad you sent texts to a couple of friends. It is good to reach out. I think there are times when we are more comfortable alone. I spend a lot of time alone. But there are times we need companionship and conversation. Go with what feels the best to you. If you miss a meeting, you can always catch the next one. Just don't beat yourself up over it.

I Hope you have a lovely weekend.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/8/2018 5:10 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes if I just do the next step it helps get me to the step after that.

For instance, I can't think about going somewhere as a huge thing. Instead I think about putting on my shoes. Once my shoes are on, I can think about getting in my car. But if I think of it as a long list of steps, I'm sunk. I just do "the next right thing".

Today I can't think about "cleaning my house", that seems huge. But I can 1) get out a new trash bag 2) carry it upstairs, 3) clean out the litter box, 4) put in new litter, 5) walk the trash to the dumpster. But I don't think about it as a list of steps, I only think about one step at a time. Seems kinda' silly and stupid, but some days I just need silly and stupid!!
Posted 9/8/2018 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
I agree GreenBeans, breaking up large chores into smaller tasks helps with the anxiety of it. Today I have a few things to do,. I accomplished a walk and eating meals. But there is housework and a shower. I am afraid if I save the shower to last, I wont do it today. So I may take the shower first and hope I don't need another one after the work is done. I should say projects, it sounds more fun than work.

Leaving the house use to be super hard because I had a dog with separation anxiety and she would have a fit if she knew I was leaving. And that would start with putting on shoes. Ha... If I put my phone in my purse, she knew too, so that caused me super anxiety. She passed away on May 15 this year, I still have a little anxiety leaving myself remembering her. I got so use to her getting upset when I would leave. I am working on it though.

So yes I would say one step at a time. How does that go, Lead with the mind and the heart will follow??? I can't remember now... Lead with the heart and the body will follow??? But anyway, breaking things up into smaller portions helps a lot.

Have a good day both of you...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/11/2018 1:27 PM (GMT 0)
What do you see when you first open your eyes? Maybe hang a new picture on the wall. Maybe close or open the curtains (depending on the view and privacy needs) or switch to cafe style curtains which still give privacy but allow more light in. My bedroom is very dark and that can make it tough for me first thing. I finally got a bedside table lamp, which has made a difference.

My routine is pretty set in the morning...get up, let the dogs out, bring them back in, go to the kitchen, make the coffee, feed the cats. There's not much 'wiggle room' with that part. However, once the coffee is ready, I can choose where I take it for the first sip! Summer usually means I'm out on the patio with it...only it's been raining for days now. This morning...fog. So, rather than my usual time spent in the recliner in front of the t.v., I brought the cup to the computer desk by the window instead! Small changes can make a big difference.

Maybe buy yourself a morning 'treat' and have it waiting for you! Your favorite fruit spread for toast or a flavored creamer for coffee or tea. Leave yourself an encouraging note taped to the bathroom mirror to see first thing in the morning.

If you use an alarm clock (which I do not) maybe get one that uses the radio instead of a grating sound and set it to a station with upbeat music to start the day.
Posted 9/11/2018 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, it hard to get out at times.

The is a feeling os safety and comfort being alone. But to much makes us lonely It is a fine line to walk

I like you and others struggle with this as it comes.

I will have lunch Thursday with someone from group. I have a doc appoint at 11am I will meet her after at a dinner I pass on the way home. that way I really don't have a good reason to back out. It is easier for me that way.

Sunday, I met an aquiantance at a book store we had coffee, wanted to check a book out before buying cheaper on line for a new book club I have joined.

However, I did not go Last week, because it was at night, to hot and my back hurt.

You are not alone.

Peace
Trina
Posted 9/14/2018 2:45 PM (GMT 0)
Mornings for me are usually fine. Like they have a false promise that things are going to be alright. It's the evenings that creep me out. Another lonely day.
Posted 9/16/2018 9:22 AM (GMT 0)

still_hoping said...
Mornings for me are usually fine. Like they have a false promise that things are going to be alright. It's the evenings that creep me out. Another lonely day.

Just the opposite for me -- I have to force myself to get out of bed while feeling despondent. Going to sleep has been a relief, although this is changing for the worse.

This just goes to show that depression may be fundamentally different for different people, and drugs may not have the same effects. (I've had bad luck with sertraline/fluoxetine in the past, and I'm loath to roll the dice on anything else.)

If only they'd figure out enough about depression to tailor a treatment without too much trial and error... which can have devastating consequences for some.
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