Daily Check In Thread For All... #182

The sun shines brightly today. Turtle has meandered up n down the street watching the birds.

Hi Weary,

It is so easy to think about the past but you are right, this is a different year. Time to make new memories. I am sorry but I laughed when you said your husband stepped on the bread and butter. It sounded funny at the time.

The best thing we can do is push on at times. I guess there is a time and place to grieve. Sometimes. And sometimes we just have to do what we have to do... I listen to a lot of music, and that brings back memories, some good and some not so good I guess. Probably depends on my mood.

Today is so dreary. October, November and December have not been very sunny. Today it is snowing. At least we should have a white Christmas.

I am glad you got your shopping done. I am getting bad about wrapping gifts. Some of them I don't. I think it is because I don't have the room and it makes it harder. Oh well, they are for my husband. I wrapped little kids gifts already.

Sounds like things are where they should be and that you are doing well. I hope you have a lovely day and a good Christmas.

Take care...

Hugs, Karen...

Cass- sorry for your funk- hope it lifts for you
Same wishes for you pitmom
HT what kind of birds do you have? Here we have cardinals, blue jays, nuthatches, chickadees, woodpeckers,doves and more at our birdfeeder/bird bath. Sometimes a red tail hawk will come and snatch one.
Karen-thanks for your well wishes and hope you have a very Merry white Christmas with lots of happiness!

I am still laughing every time I think of my husband stepping on his dropped bread and butter! You just can't make that stuff up! Karma!

Wishing you all the most joyous holiday with a very happy and very healthy year to come. I hope you all enjoy... I will be happy when it is over actually...

Hugs, Karen...

Merry Christmas or happy winter solstice holiday? I hope I get it right between all the people...

Merry Christmas to all.

Trina the turkey vultures must be scary. They are huge birds. I imagine Diablo is glad to have you calm her down. Have a great day!!!

Luv and hugs...

Karen...

Good to see ya post Cass. For support and care. Missed ya HT.

This morning, my partner gave me the gift of warmth. Literally. She paid for 200 gallons of kerosene for me. This should get me through the winter and possibly reserve some for next year even!

I had applied for home energy assistance, but needed my daughters pay stubs...which she never produced...so, no assistance. Beyond frustrating. Being 'denied' is one thing, due to 'income'...although she gives me absolutely nothing...but because of the rules, I must declare her income simply because she lives here! To not provide any documentation as requested makes me look bad. Doesn't seem to matter to her.

Today, she tells me if I write her a letter saying I want her moved out of my home, she'll take it to Welfare and maybe they'll find housing for her and my grandson. Sure...make me out to be the bad guy. Wow. Just wow.

With new years eve impending I am reminded that this time last year I was glad Christmas was over and my mom made it through...yet she was absolutely mean on Christmas as we skyped and she was not happy about any of the presents I sent that I went through painstaking effort to try and find ones she would like and not even wanting to open them.Who am I to judge because she was dying. Except she made it a point to make a fuss over what other people sent. I was waiting for the shoe to drop-waiting for the call to say ITS TIME TO COME. It was still a rollercoaster ride- one day she seemed extremely fine the next day possibly on deaths door. I went through all the motions of the holidays enjoying nothing. Work was stressful as usual. Have always hated new years eve/new years day. Always ready for another hard year to end-resentful of everyone anticipating new beginnings of a brand new year knowing it just gets harder. But trying to keep up the appearances on new years eve I was out getting my nails done when I got the call from the hospice nurse that mom seemed to have declined since her last visit. She mentioned some symptoms that she had demonstrated previously yet bounced back. We discussed that and she said it was a hard call and that I should probably still play it by ear day by day communicating with the 24 hr care provider. So I went ahead and bought the king crab legs for my family's dinner that night but before I got home the care provider called and said my mom thought I was there and would I speak with her. She got on the phone in a delusional state acting as though I was there and I said I wasn't but did she need me there? She said you're on the plane? And I knew it was time for me to go and I went home and booked the last seat on the plane. Worrying I wouldn't make it in time I got there just after midnight new years day. She lasted until the 4th and we had a day or so of lucid visiting and then because hospice was short handed I was forced to be the one to help her die with doses of morphine. I was no good at it and she did not die peacefully as I remembered my dad passing with hospice help.
It was horrible and I don't think I'll ever get over it.
I've had my 95 year old MIL staying with us since end of Oct which coincided with my losing my long time job due to plant closure. I haven't been able to grieve that always putting on a happy face for her. She'll be going home this weekend and although she's been a pleasure to have I am glad to get some privacy back especially during this time. If my husband would just understand- I need some quiet time-but he is happy to have her go and wants to plan outings for the two of us and doesn't understand my melancholy and is angry.
And my RA is acting up
Rant over- thanks for listening

Thanks Karen,
You always seem to know just what to say
Your affirmation means a lot- I don't like to be the one who needs to be consoled- prefer to be the one who consoles and I forget I count too.
But all said and done my RA flare is not unbearable, better days are coming. I want to believe that 2018 which I've labeled as my year of loss is going to be replaced with 2019 - the year of prosperity and happiness. It's time for things to turn around. God has been good to me. He has done it before and He will do it again. In 2007 when my RA presented I was an invalid because of my disease. I was unable to to take care of my most personal needs. I was in so much pain I was afraid I was going to die and I was afraid I wouldn't die and could not bear to live. I stayed the course, prayed, kept my faith, passed the test and became completely functional. It was definitely divine intervention. So now I've had another rough patch in this thing we call life. I feel I'm being prepped to make a difference in peoples lives. If you haven't suffered yourself how do you have empathy for others?
Looking forward to helping others.
To you Karen and all of us struggling here at Healing Well- may peace be with you-may 2019 be everyone's year of change for the better!

Weary and Jamie,

You both have helped me to feel so good. I think I needed to hear that. I hope that pain subsides in both of you. I remember feeling helpless when I first got fibromyalgia, as the years passed it got easier. I think because I tried not to give up. It wasn't easy.

I too hope that 2019 is easier for all of us.

Cold here today, snowing. Yesterday was 20 degrees warmer. I hope we get another warm up. I am sick of winter already.

Take care you two and have a wonderful day/night.

Hugs, Karen...

Karen, HT and Pitmom

May 2019 be our turnaround!

Peace and love to all here at HW!