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Still can’t deal with sons death

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Posted 7/2/2019 11:01 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry about your experience Weary. People shouldn't monopolize the meetings nor ask for money. I agree, one on one for you.

I hope you find some relief. I hope things get easier soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/3/2019 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi weary.

I agree about one on one counselling being better. Asking for money is completely unacceptable and should be reported to the group leader before you leave, in my opinion. I do know what you mean about people monopolising meetings. A good group leader really ought to prevent that and give everyone a chance to speak equally. Groups can be a positive thing, but it doesn't sound like your one is being run well, which is most unfortunate. Whatever benefit you could get, you're not getting it. If you can afford it, I would definitely try one to one counselling.

I am sorry about your vacation not providing a respite. Maybe for now you'd be better off with finding a new place without any memories :/ The old place will always be there, waiting for you when you're ready to go back.

As for the job you hate, any chance of being able to get another job? I know jobs are hard to come by these days, but if it's possible, I would consider looking for another job. With a better boss.

Take care. Thinking of you...
Posted 7/4/2019 10:15 AM (GMT 0)
Hi
Thanks for your continued support
Apparently this was once a very good group but they lost the leader and it is now run by a committee and they don’t know how to do it well
They are not requiring us to pay but need money to continue meetings so are suggesting having a newsletter where we can post a memorial for $
I am thinking of looking for a new job but I just don’t have it in me for more change
Today I am hosting a bbq which I committed to before it all came down
Uggh
My daughter’s in laws are visiting the country so they are coming
I hate chit chat these days
Oh well
I’ll get through it somehow
Posted 7/4/2019 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
Maybe the bbq will be a good distraction. I hope that it goes well and that your visit with your daughter's in laws goes well.

I think it will be a good time. I am making potato salad today to go with supper. Have a happy 4th Weary.

Thinking of you...

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/5/2019 9:47 AM (GMT 0)
It actually went better than I thought although it was exhausting.
Had a lot of tears before and after with husband and without.
Especially when making deviled eggs which were his favorite.....
I feel like I'm sinking in a big dark hole.
Posted 7/5/2019 12:27 PM (GMT 0)
I am glad you got through the 4th. These things are going to be different without your son there. But in time it will get easier. Just take it one day at a time Weary. I hope it gets easier soon for you.

I hope you have a nice day today. Know we are all thinking about you. Hang in there the best that you can.

Gentle hugs,

Karen...
Posted 7/7/2019 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen,
Read a book written by a mother who was an atheist and also a MD.
Through mediums she was able to channel her son and find that there is afterlife for all.
It was comforting as my son was a non believer and I have been concerned about where he is. According to this book all souls go home and are not judged. There is only love and light. Those who don't believe are enlightened by guides once there and are naturally inclined to see the truth.
Despite my Catholic upbringing which I do not practice, my spirituality has led me to believe this same account and it brings me peace as my old teachings have been getting in my way and causing me fear.
It is good to have a 4 day weekend because I have needed quiet reflection time. So glad I have one more day tomorrow.
Posted 7/7/2019 10:58 AM (GMT 0)
I am so glad this brought you some peace Weary. I don't know what to believe anymore. I was always a Christian when I was young. I am glad you found some validation.

That gives me a little peace too. So thank you.

Glad you got an extra day off work too.

Keep hanging in there and keep strong.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/8/2019 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
Listening to meditation
While multitasking
Reading work notes
Monday’s are hard with required tasks that I still haven’t mastered
Totally over complicated
I long for a simpler life
Have been doing a lot of crying
This weekend
Don’t feel like going to work but it’s probably for the best since I can’t wallow in grief
Posted 7/8/2019 11:45 AM (GMT 0)
Work will probably be a good distraction for you Weary. Crying is cleansing. Have a good one.

Meditation works wonders. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to get through this situation. I hope it gets easier for you.

As always we are all here for you.

Gentle hugs,
Karen...
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