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Therapists Who Tell You To "Let It Go"

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Posted 9/17/2019 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Psychiatrists and therapists try to help people with mental illness. And many of their clients have experienced trauma in their lives, unfortunately.

Some shrinks will tell their patients who are struggling to cope with what happened to them to "Let it go."

Of course, you can't just snap your fingers and move on if you've had one or more bad things happen to you in your past.

So why do some psychiatrists and therapists tell many of their clients to "Let it go?"

The reason is that when a shrink tells a patient to let it go, it does something psychologically in a good way to some of their patients. It can actually help them to let it go, or at least to a point, even though shrinks know that you can't just suddenly and magically let it go. It's the same principle as a therapist telling someone who obsesses about something to "Stop it!"

A counselor telling their clients to "Let it go" doesn't work for everyone. But for some odd reason, it does help some trauma victims.
Posted 9/17/2019 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
I guess it's the same when people say to forgive the person who hurt you.

I think the act of forgiveness and 'letting it go' frees you from the hurt and pain you carry inside. I guess it's not necessarily about the person who hurt you, but it's about healing yourself from the toxic emotions you carry inside.
Posted 9/18/2019 12:42 PM (GMT 0)
Some things just aren't worthy of worrying about or holding onto. Let it go isn't always that simple, though it is probably the best thing for us to do. I know when I am less depressed, I can let go of things much easier. But when I am depressed I over think things.

Good topic Mike. I hope to read how other people feel about it.

Have a great day!

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/18/2019 7:24 PM (GMT 0)
This is a really good topic - I hope it's all right if I chime in, as a person who doesn't (I believe) have to battle with clinical depression.

A certain friend of mine... We've known each other for most of our lives. She has this habit of kind of - hanging on to the past, and assuming these memories are crystal clear and objective, even when nobody else remembers them the same way, or at all. In them, every fault, every mistake (real or perceived) everything is amplified 300%. Once, she was talking about a distant event where she felt she was 'so useless' and when I told her I felt she was on fire that evening, it kind of left her stunned, because it was completely at odds with the fiction she'd built for herself.

Many of her other friends see it the same way, too. I don't think being told to let it go would help her; she has a very analytic mindset. Whether chemical or psychological, I think some people simply can't let it go as easily as others - for example, with my gallows humor, I'm pretty good at staying cheerful and feeling non-stressed even though life has been full of stressors.

But, I think for another set of people, someone - especially in a position of authority - saying that it's okay to let it go, that they CAN let it go, must be incredibly helpful and liberating, a kind of first step towards recovery. Maybe even more.

As another view, for people who can't let it go easily, maybe it'd be helpful to look at it as - why can't I let go, and is there a way to turn that into a strength; can I focus on what made me happy, or proud, or did good for my friends?

Seriously good topic Mike, I hope this is an okay contribution.
Peace!
Posted 9/18/2019 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ohnoadiskjockey,

I definitely agree that it's harder for some people to 'let it go' while for others it's not.

Your post actually made me think about my mindset and personality. Like your friend, I repeatedly analyze or ruminate about things in the past. I strive for perfection in all that I do and like order and predictability. I don't know if I would be classified as having an analytical, uptight, or rigid mindset, but I do know that it is very hard for me to let go of hurtful incidents which happened years ago; I partly think my mindset or personality is too blame.

When I look at my friends, who aren't uptight like me, they seem to let go of things more easily. For some people, it is easy to let go. Of course, it also depends on what you're 'letting go'. If someone suffered an intense trauma, such as abuse of any nature, I would imagine it might be harder for that person to let it go and move forward with their lives. As MMB, however, said the principle of 'let it go' has helped some trauma victims/survivors, so I guess mindset does play a role, as well as other factors.
Posted 9/19/2019 4:24 AM (GMT 0)
ForeverPositive,

I can tell you one thing - you have an okay mindset.
For real!

Karen mentioned thinking things over more seriously when depression was at it's worst; I figure that sometimes depression/trauma can make us view parts of ourselves in a more unpleasant, critical light.
Trying to do your best and to create a more rational world is a good goal. Just because that urge sometimes fights whatever you might need to deal with the past doesn't mean that it, or you, are flawed, or to blame, or that there's any part of who you are to blame.

Sometimes, our worldviews try to solve every issue the same way though, which - doesn't always work out. As an example, I have (in general) a laid-back attitude; and while it makes me handle stressors pretty well, I've been really thinking, am I handling individual days well..?

Anyway, all of it's food for thought - thank you for sharing yours. Hope things are going well!
Posted 9/19/2019 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
welcome to the forum oh,

Mike this is a great topic

My therapist and psychiatrist have never said "just let it go"

This is a skill or way to deal with the past that takes time while processing the emotions and flash backs.

I have posted a link to a website that has some information on mindfulness techniques on letting go, just one way to approach the problem.

True, that it must be done so a person can move on, we are all different so I expect we all move on and let go in different ways. As long as we do not suppress any longer, we will be alright

https://www.mindful.org/?s=letting+it+go

peace
Trina
Posted 9/21/2019 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
We hold it in for it is safer to not release it, many a reason. It is in our control not out. Fear is very present.

The readiness factor id when to and the best method suited individually. Letting it go a flimsy but apt term, dependent on the level of compassion or frustration by the therapist shrink etc. This i know well.

I got the title of shrink killer this was an actualising factor to let go and move into the ardous process, very long n hard but worth it; the stalwarts here can attest to my story.

Keep strong. HT
Posted 9/29/2019 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
I have read this thread a few different times and finally decided to post. If what I have to say helps just one person it's worth it to me.

I had been in Therapy for many years and my Therapist would keep telling me to "let it go." How do I let go and forgive? Forgive!? Let go? Seriously! Easy to say but so very difficult to do and again, how?

Ask yourself; if I keep repeating the hurt, anger, pain, from the past how does that serve me? Will keeping it with me change what happened? No, it doesn't. So what purpose does it serve? Nothing, but keeps you in the state of mind you are in. But, it's important to keep asking yourself the question each time something comes up ~ what purpose does this serve? Then seriously think about how it servers you better self.

It can take time, trial and error to find what will work for you to let go and forgive. It's not easy to let go and forgive. I did let go and I did forgive and if you are able to do it, it can be a very freeing experience. Change your thought process (a Therapist can help with this). Be open to all possible options for change, even those that you disregarded in the past. open yourself to spirituality (this is not a one size fits all and not necessarily "traditional"). There is so much to explore that could possibly be your answer to letting go.

I found "letting go" and forgiveness in quite a sudden and unexpected way. But, I still have more work to do. I wish all of you Peace.
Posted 9/29/2019 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Snoopy,

Thanks for posting and sharing your experience. I like what you said about the purpose it serves. That is the ticket right there. "What purpose does it serve you?". That was very well put.

Forgiving is hard. It is easier to hold onto the bad experience. But it serves us well in the end. To "let go". I am glad you experienced the forgiving part and the freeing part.

Have a good day. Feel free to post more or start a thread if you want.

Hugs, Karen...
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