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Binge-Eating, the Occult, and other Ramblings

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Posted 9/29/2019 5:45 PM (GMT 0)
My depression is getting worse. I'm on the verge of crying most of the time.

I'm trying to be positive, but it is hard when little to no money is coming in. My personal life and career is down the toilets, and I'm feeling utterly worthless at this point.

I don't even get up now until around noon and am finding it hard to even do simple task like combing my hair, etc.

To top it off, I'm binge eating like there is no tomorrow. I was watching a video about weight loss, and the host said something interesting. She said 'when you love yourself, weight loss will be easy because you will care about what you are putting into your body'; this really had me thinking about my binge-eating. I think my binge-eating is symptomatic about how I feel about myself--overeating for me in a way is like 'killing oneself'.

Besides my binge-eating, I find myself turning to the occult. I tend to watch videos on the paranormal when I'm extremely down. I don't know why I'm fascinating by the paranormal when I'm really depressed. It's like my mind is gravitating to all things negative.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I feel a little bit better writing this down.
Posted 9/29/2019 6:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ForeverPositive… Remember your name and maybe the reason for it...

I am so sorry for what you are going through. But you have a lot of negative behavior going on at this time. Try not to get involved with paranormal things. This will just drag you into the pits. Though it may be interesting to you at this time, it's bad juju.

The binge-eating really needs to stop. If you start gaining weight that will make you depressed too. Learn to be mindful about what you are eating. But know we probably have all done it at one time or another. I find when I have a lot of time on my hands I want to eat. Do you have any hobbies? Or could you donate some of your time at a shelter or with the elderly? I really feel you need to find something to do in place of working. And don't give up on the work. Prepare for it even if you don't have anything going on.

It takes a lot of courage to post when we are having a hard time. This is a big step. Plus you are asking for help and addressing your situation. That is all good. Reaching out is a good thing.

Let's make a right hand turn here away from all the negative things. Start a new healing journey. You got this FP... I know you do...

I hope your day gets better sweetie. Hang in there and keep moving forward.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 9/29/2019 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
Forever Positive, you're not worthless. Nobody is.
Posted 9/30/2019 3:55 AM (GMT 0)
Just a comment on food and depression. I've never found an anti-depressant that works. Instead, I 'medicate' with 20 oz of Dr Pepper every morning. I've recently been trying to get OFF the sugar (can't drink diet drinks, don't do other sources of caffeine), but it leaves me either with a headache or with horrid depression. There is SUCH a marriage between food and depression!! Wish it were easier, but if there is an easy way out of this I certainly haven't found it!!!

Post Edited (Lynnwood) : 9/30/2019 6:57:07 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/30/2019 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
Lynnwood,

I don't drink soda as I never liked it. I heard, however, that seltzer water, especially flavored, can trick you into thinking that you are drinking soda.

There is definitely a marriage between food and depression-either you don't eat or you eat too much due to depression. I've been at both extremes.
Posted 9/30/2019 3:57 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone.

Yesterday, I forced myself to due some exercise. Although I still felt depressed, the exercise spurred me to take out the garbage, wash my hair, etc. I know these tasks may seem mundane, but to me it was an accomplishment, especially since I so depressed I didn't want to do anything.

I'm going to force myself today to due some exercise. I have an appointment with my therapist this week, so I'll discuss how I feel. I'm anxious though about therapy because the fee has gone up from $35 to $50. I am self-pay as I don't have any insurance, so the fee is very expensive to me.

When my therapist last spoke to me, she said she may give me some alternative options. I don't know if that means going to a different center with lower fees, etc. One thing I know is that I really need my medication; it has helped me a lot with anxiety and depression. Although my depression has been at an all time high lately, I believe it is due to me being out of work.
Posted 10/1/2019 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
hey FP- wishing you lifted spirits and continued success with your exercise- it is said to be a great healer.
Trying to force myself to do the same
Posted 10/1/2019 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
FP

I think of the therapist gives you options, I would take them.

Being in such a dark place is hard to climb out of. I don't binge eat, I go opposite. Stop eating altogether.

Doing exercise, even if it is climbing stairs or walking around the block will help.

I wish you peace and strength
Trina
Posted 10/1/2019 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
I do both with the eating. I go to extremes. Sometimes eat, sometimes not. I think it all depends on what occurs to me. At that given time.

I am glad you are exercising Forever, I like walking. It is the easiest for me. The weather interferes with it though. I rarely go in winter as I fell once. On the ice... It was like black ice that you couldn't see but it was very slippery.

I understand what you mean about doing tasks that most people would feel were mundane. I have trouble self nurturing. Taking a shower. Taking care of myself. Plus housework. I am lousy. I always have an excuse. But you are getting things done. Pace yourself so you don't get burnt out. I often over do things.

I hope you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen...
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