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The Taboo of Mental Illness

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Posted 10/2/2019 10:31 PM (GMT 0)
I spoke to my friend who lost her relative to suicide.

During our conversation, she told me how blindsided her and her family felt when it happened. They had no idea that this relative felt loss and hopeless. Now, she and her family are blaming themselves for not knowing.

This got me thinking about my own situation...my immediate family does not know outright that I suffer from depression and anxiety and am seeking treatment for it. It's sad, but mental illness is still somewhat a taboo in my family. I once tried to confide in my mother, but she got really upset, and I never brought it up again.

I wonder if depression is a taboo issue in other people's families as well. Although there seems to more of an awareness of mental illnesses, I still feel people, who suffer from it, are stigmatized.
Posted 10/2/2019 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
You are absolutely right, FP. I kept my depression from everyone until just the past 1 or 2 years. My husband knew about it but he just doesn't understand, so I don't talk to him about it. My kids and one brother know and it doesn't bother them. But I have never discussed it with my mother for two reasons. In my childhood, mental illness was very much blamed on the mother, so I think she would be hurt. The other reason is that she just wouldn't get it anyway. I would never tell any one at work.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness has a great program on destigmatizing mental illness . Their website is worth a look. They have a lot of resources too.
Posted 10/3/2019 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
Not for me. Mental illness effects the majority of my family. But yes....some kept it quiet...my mother.

I am open....and speak openly and when we do this we ate educating and self advocating and validating our exlerience.

Keep 💪. HT
Posted 10/3/2019 11:10 AM (GMT 0)
I remember when I was a kid. My mother was mentally ill. Paranoid scitzophrenic and manic depressive (bi-polar). All they would say was she was "sick". Nobody talked about the depression or the mental illness.

Though things have come a long way I think it is still taboo. More needs to be talked about.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 10/3/2019 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
I'm very quiet about it with family. They would just laugh and tell me to get over it.

I have a number of friends who would get it, but I really only confide in 1 or 2 of them. They can't do anything about it, so I'm not sure I see the point.

Post Edited (Lynnwood) : 10/3/2019 8:15:06 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/3/2019 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
My family had no idea that I had been suffering from mental illness when I decided to get help for it back in 2000. And when I got the help, I asked for their help as well.

Fortunately, my family was understanding and was there for me.

However, before 2000, I feared getting the help, in part, because I didn't know how my family would take it.
Posted 10/3/2019 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
Despite all the resources out there, I think the stigma remains in general. Those who never suffered clinical depression often seem to think that you can just "snap out of it" or find the willpower to defeat it. Even those who are wiser and more empathetic -- who try hard to put themselves in your shoes -- wind up with only "academic" knowledge of the condition.

Unfortunately, true understanding seems to require direct personal experience. If someone never felt a red hot poker applied to the skin, they may be told that it's agonizing and unbearable, but they can never feel it until it happens to them.

In America, at least, there are more widespread efforts to create awareness. I think the situation is far worse elsewhere in the world, particularly in countries where men and women have "traditional" roles. Men in particular tend to be expected to be strong and easily capable of dealing with their "feelings." Seeking help for depression might even ostracize people in such cases.
Posted 10/3/2019 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Men are supposed to be strong by having the willpower to defeat depression, in the minds of many. But in reality, it takes strength to get help for depression for the first time.
Posted 10/4/2019 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Men in general seem to have a hard time reaching out for help in general.

My friends sometime complain that they have a hard time getting their husbands to see a doctor for physical ailments, so just imagine men seeking help for mental illness.

I don't know, but I think the stigma of having a mental disorder is still strong.
Posted 10/4/2019 6:14 PM (GMT 0)
Forever I am sorry for the loss and your situation.

Mental illness runs in my family, however it is produced from abuse, going back generations.

I am the first that I know of that has gotten help. Both siblings tout me as a drug addict, when in truth they are or were.

When I disclosed the abuse to my sister, one of main abusers, within 10days all blood relatives had shunned me, down to 2nd cousins. 1st cousins were abused by their fathers, my uncles also. But deny it.

Even though abuse and mental illness is spoken about more in society today. And children are more protected. I think there will always be a stygma on mental illness. Which I don't understand, because addiction seems more like a choice and logically that would be more shameful to the family. But that is just my perception.

I have learned I can only tell the truth, my truth. If no one believes me, I can do nothing about it. If a person decides to support me great.

For instance, 2 weeks ago a male friend and I went to a used book store, while we were there I dissociated and said something about sex that I do not remember.

He called me on it the next day. After a conversation and sending him a paragraph in one of my books, he backed down. Have not heard from his since. We have been friends for 2 years. Just friends

So yeah, taboo tabooo

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 10/4/2019 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
FP, I'd also like to say that I'm sorry that you and your friend lost this person to suicide.
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