New and feeling stuck

Hi
I'm new in this and I'm feeling really stuck. I would just like to be cheered up a bit in any way for I feel like I'm in the lowest point of my life...

I had severe depression when I was 13 and it went on and on until I became 18. I felt like I was cured and okay all of a sudden. I even went off pills and therapy for a whole year and the seasonal changes didnt bother me (I had seasonal depression too). But now my depression is coming back. I hate it. I don't want to go back to that sad empty feeling of life.

...But sticking back on to my life history, I have had a really unusual and interesting life. I think I actually became depressed because all of the below happened to me one at a time, year by year, and repeatingly.
Ive almost experienced every problem everybody talks about...
-physical & verbal abuse (from family), divorce (of parents), molestation, suicide, addiction, living without enough money (especially now)...

But I kinda can live on facing those problems...

The biggest problem I have to deal with now is how I'm not able to be independent without my parent's help or money. I want to live in America for it's where I really feel at home, but I don't have a green card... I'm only a student.
Which is really killing me for I cant work and I gotta pay extra (like three times more for college) without a loan or scholarship and I only am able to be here for a certain amount of time.
By law, as long as my parents pay for me, Im able to live here. But the immigration doesn't realize as long as they pay for me, I have to DEAL with them and their abuse. (By the way my parents work here but only under a temporary working visa. which will expire someday)

It's not fair... I WANT to be a citizen so I can work without my parent's help, but I cant... And I might have to go back to Japan and work... The place that I hate so much and only really stayed for two whole years... Im getting depression again thinking about how I might not be able to stay and how I might have to live in that horrid country where I cant even barely speak their language...

LIFE HAS ALREADY BEEN HARD ON ME- WHY DOES IT GET WORSE!? Ive lost so much faith... I don't know what to do...

Hi
just wanted to say thanks for replying. knowing that there are people who care makes me happy. I'll try not to give up and see what I can do...
Thanks again.

H

Hi H,

I wish I could think of a good joke right now that wouldn't get me banned..."you know us men"

Anyway please do as atedogs suggest and start from there.

Peace

Dan

I see you haven't posted anything since 2006. I hope you are doing fine. A few quick things that you might try that have helped me; for I have also suffered with deppresion throughout my life is 1. At least 15 minutes in the sunshine whenever possible. 2. Eating a few walnuts. And 3. Thinking on things that are lovely, pure, good, honest, just, true, and of a good report are some quick things you might try to help. Hope things are looking Up for You, God bless You.