I don't want to live anymore

I am sick and tired of trying to be the perfect child when I know I'm not. I am sick of trying to impress everyone by putting on a fake smile and a fake laugh. I am so so sorry to all the people who have tried their absolute hardest to support me. I hate life I hate myself I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. idc if I get covid, cancer sum like that I just hope it k.i.l.l.s me. I wish the doctor would walk out to everyone and say “she didn’t make it”.I do not want to fight anymore and I can’t even describe how serious I’m being, I’m not living anymore, I'm existing, I’m breathing and that’s it, I’m not living, I don’t have a soul or personality, I am not human, I am a thing, a problem, a disappointment to those who come near me.

Skylar here are some links to help if you do not reach out. No shame there. We do what we can. When, we can. To stay safe.
Hence the links....

International help line is top thread resources
3 to 5 ??pg
Stay strong

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills__defined_.html :
Skills to bring emotions down. Ground you. Holding ice is my go to.
******
NDMDA Depression Hotline |
Support Group.
800-826-3632

Suicide Prevention Services
Crisis Hotline
800-784-2433

Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 
800-233-4357

I hope this helps
Venting here just as you did usually helps too.

skylar,

You may have emailed me instead of Trina. I didn't answer as things are really heavy for me right now and I can't take on the extra load. I made some suggestions for you. . That is the best I can do. sorry...

I hope that things get better.

Hugs, Karen...