My life is out of order

Hi Cyborg,  Self medicating is not going to help any of your situations.  All it is going to do is possibly cause severe medical and mental complications.  Especially if you have Crohn's disease and a thyroid problem.  Is it really worth it?  Have you tried to seek out counseling for the issues you listed?  Regardless, it seems that you could benefit from it.  Also, I was wondering if you take an antidepressant?  This is another option that could help greatly.  Please take care....

Hi Cyborg Ninja -

First, let me offer you my condolenses. It must be extremely difficult to lose a family member, especially your mom. May I ask if she died right around this time last year? If so, that may trigger your current feelings of hopelessness. On a related note, have you thought about possibly taking some time off from school? It sounds like you are struggling with a lot right now and you may need a break in order to determine if school is something you really want to pursue right now.

I dropped out of college when I was 17 and it was actually one of the best decisions I've made. Now, I would not recommend it to everyone, especially if you think you would not go back if you walked away right now. But, that decision is there. I know from my perspective it was a very difficult decision to make, but in the end it actually bought me and my mom closer, I got clarity on what I really wanted to do with my life, and I had time to heal. There was a lot happening right around that time in my life. One of my best friends from high school was killed in a car accident, my boyfriend tried to rape me, I was going to a school that I hated, 'cause my folks were footing the bill, and I was involved in a car accident just six months after we burried "K", so I couldn't understand why she died and I survived. It was a lot to deal with and luckily I got over my fear of psychologists and started seeing a counselor at the college who agreed to keep seeing me after I dropped out of school. She helped me to work through my pain and well as help me identify what I wanted my priorities to be. I was able to figure out what I really wanted to go to school for and worked out an agreement with my parents that we were all confortable with.

So, perhaps, you may want to consider just focusing in on just one item that you've already identified and work on that until you have a handle on it and then move on to the next item. Please remember this is just my experience, you are obviously a unique and talented person, otherwise you would not have gotten into school in the first place, so only you can determine what is right for you.

Best of luck and please let me know how things progress. By the way, my brother was recently diagnosed with Crohn's too, but ever since he found out what it was that was causing all of his problems - he doesn't let it stop him from doing anything at all! :)