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Fatigue, Lack of Motivation, and giving up on Western Medicine

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Posted 9/12/2006 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone. Thanks for listening.

I am writing because I am at my wits end. I have been dealing with some major fatigue/depression for 4 years now. I have been through a gamit of tests and medications and nothing seems to help. Doctors don't seem to follow through - or care enough to for that matter. I am sick of it. I am tired of living my life in my apartment with my cats. Even though I love them dearly. I have no desire to get up, get dressed and get on with it. Then I feel guilty for that...

I recently had the stress of moving and changing jobs. Inter-office strife caused the split - which was stressful enough in itself. It seems my life is always in upheaval. My new job, something that was really looking forward to, is a big stress as well. I know that comes with every new career, but I feel so incompetent. I have gained the knowledge and experience over the past 4 years, but now it's like I never had any of that.

There has been a lot of thought about chronic fatigue syndrome, but it seems that nobody wants to commit. I was diagnosed with this really random sleeping disorder - a type of parasomnia - but even the neurologist said there is nothing really to do besides take valium everynight before I go to bed. Yikes. I opted away from that one. I am really beginning to form a general disliking of practioners. Grrr.

I don't really know why I am blabbing on about this. I just figured that I could use some support on my side. Most of my friends and family don't really understand, and keep telling me to go back to the doctor. I've spent the last 4 years in the doctor's office. I am ready for some other sound advice that anyone is able to share with me. Anything.

Thanks again,
Kim
Posted 9/12/2006 4:01 AM (GMT 0)
((((Kim))))

I live alone with 2 cats also!  I also love my cats, but you are right, it gets boring.  I don't get out much either because of my depression, and often on the weekends, don't even bother dressing in anything other than sweats.

Changing job IS stressful, on top of everything else you are dealing with, yikes!

I don't have much advice ... along with my recently prescribed meds, I've made a habit though of taking a multi-vitamin, some extra vitamin B-12, flax seed oil pills and calcium every night.  I hope that can help me somewhat .....

I totally hear you with the valium stuff. I don't want to take any medicine that's not necessary unless I am absolutely desparate for it!  

I'm not fond of doctors either and have a basic mistrust of them -- sometimes my mistrust is unwarranted but I absolutely hate how most only spend about 8 minutes (if that) in the office with me.  It makes me feel rushed from the beginning and I never remember to tell them everything I planned on (even if I bring a list ... ).   The best doctor I ever went to was an oncologist while getting diagnosed for an autoimmune disease I have -- he actually talked to me in his office for about 20 minutes before poking and prodding and taking blood.  Other doctors I've been to begin all that poking and prodding before I even tell them everything that's wrong!

Sorry I don't have much advice for you.  I could be a hypocryte and tell you to exercise and watch your diet (unless you already do these things) but I don't do them myself very well!

Posted 9/12/2006 6:25 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks njcat.

I was always rushed at the drs office. It's really irritating. I too would forget some of things that I had wanted to say, or questions that I may have had. They tend not to give you a chance...A lot of people have told me to get a new dr, I've tried several but it all seems to come out the same in the end - here is an antidepressant - buh bye. I have tried so many I've lost track.

I have been trying to exercise, but that seems to make me more tired and unmotivated so I get discouraged. Money is really tight right now, so it is hard to eat right besides the really cheap affordable things ie: ramen noodles! I do take the extra B-12, multivitamin, magnesium, calcium, and tumeric for my psoriasis. But I cannot function unless I take a caffeine pill every morning when I get up. I drink soda with caffeine too to help keep me awake during the day, especially when I am working. It's a battle to live life everyday, feeling like a human being. I should be dating, meeting new people, no thanks - not interested...

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place, and I don't have the strength to get out of my own way. I'm sure there are a lot of you out there that understand.

If any of you have tips for daily energy, or things that have worked for you - I would greatly appreciate any advice you have to offer! Thanks!!!!
Posted 9/16/2006 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kimberlvt -

I can relate to your post.  I recently took a new job and while it's the best thing that could have happened to me, I've found it really hard to connect with people and get out and do things.  The weekends are usually the toughest for me, since I live alone and usually have no plans.  The one thing that I do find helpful is to have at least one thing to look foward to.  Like a shopping trip to find new sneakers or a Yoga class.  But, usually it's pretty tough.  I mean a cup of coffee in the morning helps to get me out of bed and then I'm pretty focused at work, since there's always a bunch of things I need to do.  So, I try to stay focused and "in the moment" rather than focusing on whatever is troubling me.  Hope you find something that works for you!  :)     

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