New here, have appt. tomorrow

Hi everyone, my name is Connie and I am 23 years old. Currently married/separated and have an 18 month old little boy whom I love dearly.

I have been diagnosed with depression since I was 15 years old. Probably had it earlier than that, but it wasn't recognized. Just told it was laziness (from my teachers). Well, I went on Adderall for ADD, and Prozac a little later on for Depression. Well about a year and a half ago, I noticed my depression was coming back full force and ten times worse than ever before. But I continued taking it because my doctor told me that it was the right meds for me. Well I kept taking it, although it still wasn't touching the depression at all and meanwhile my depression was getting worse and very more frequent.

Now, I am off of both of the meds for a little over a year (since i got pregnant) and my depression is getting so worse that I cannot tolerate it anymore. It's ruining my life, keeping me from working (does anyone else find that it keeps them from working?), making me more irritable and just overall unhappy with my life.

Well I became so unhappy with my life that I left my husband last week. We've lived with his grandmother ever since we got married. We've never lived on our own and I am pretty much sick and tired of it. I told him that I would get a job after I saw the doctor. And I also told him before I would go back, I wanted him to provide a stable home for his family. I mean, Im not the pickiest person in the world, I just want to feel comfortable in my own home, one that I control and not have to answer to anyone besides my husband, y'know?

So this week he is getting us a place to stay, paying deposit, light deposit and all that good stuff. So I'm very happy about that and hope that this is a step in the right direction for our life.

So I am going to the doctor tomorrow for the first time in a while for my depression. Everyone in my family thinks I have something more than depression because I have soooo many mood changes during the day. I'll be happy for about an hour or so, and then I'll just suddenly go into this severe depression. Note that this happens all day and I can't get anything done! That's one reason I can't work right now. It would just be too hard for me and bad for the employer. I am going to ask my doctor about bipolar tomorrow, but the only thing is; I don't have the Highs like they talk about in the definition of Bipolar. I may feel good, but I'm not hyped up or manic. But I have multiple spells a day where I'm happy one minute and severely depressed the next.

I'm sorry that this is so long and that I'm rambling. But I was just also wondering if severe depression makes any of you hate working/refuse to work?

 

It's not rambling, m'dear -- we're here to listen! I'm so happy to hear that you're taking charge of some things. Getting in control of those issues that cause you to worry really, really helps when it comes to battling depression. I've been saying that a lot lately -- but it's because in the past week, I've done some taking charge, too. It seems to me that you're taking not just -one- step in the right direction, but several :)

The hating/refusing to work issue does seem to be a common thing among people with depression. I think it goes hand-in-hand with just not wanting to do -anything- when you're depressed. You're not alone in that arena, lovely...but hopefully your visit with the doc will give you some answers and will point you towards some resources you can use in the fight against depression.

Let us know how things go!

Much love,

Jess

Hello break myself. I am glad to hear that you are going to the Dr for your depression having a child is sometimes hard for people who are depressed. I had an experience somewhat like yours years back when I had my 2nd child I had Post partum depression and didnt realize it until much later. When you go to your Dr you may want to mention the mood swings, and the time this has been happening as well, and write down the specifics of your problems, since sometimes it is hard to remember every detail when you get to the Dr. appoinement. Sometimes keeping a journal helps as well to see what is going on with your emotional state, and the mood swings. I am very glad that you are getting help. I hope the move helps you to feel better as well. Take care Phoelona