Very depressed to many diseases to cope with

Talk to your doctor about the depression. Many people with health challanges get depressed. Especially ones that cause so much pain. I have several health issues myself. You might needt to take anti-depressants but discuss it with your doc and hang in there.

I already take to types of anti-derpresents,and my doctor is very well aware of my deep depression. My depression is over having so many diferrent things medicaly wrong with ,, And that I can't work anymore ,its very long and involved,but each time I write I will try and tell more ,, everything from the pain to the medical bills to my wife worrying about me ,,not being able to do my hobbies and well just a ton more, A little more about me . I have been type 1 diabetic since 1989. I was 24 when I was diadenosed ,was fine one month and 25 pounds less,,and one month later ,,diabetic.. well I guess thats the way it happens, I was also a truck driver at that time and they took my truck lisence away at thet point. Since then I work for about 12 more years ,,then thet combinationof the rest disabled me. Since then things have really gone down hill. I tell more if enyone is interested and trust me there is alot more.

Wolfer

I really truley need someone to talk to did I do something wrong or whine to much ,,,

I looked over the thread and don't see where anyone was putting you off. I hope you don't feel like we aren't listening, just letting you know what has worked for us.

It's truly very hard to deal sometimes with overwhelming medical problems, I've had a lot of things I've be through this year myself . For me right now I'm just dealing day to day. On Monday my medical bill will be just over $850. for my medical proceedures out of pocket after insurance. We don't qualify of assistance and it's rough because it's close to the holidays and I've got a teenage daughter. Plus I have another $300+ for physical therapy this year. At this point I'm just hopeing nothing else goes wrong like no more Asthma Flairs or anything medical. So heck yeah I'm derpressed!! It helps to get something out here and in the chat rooms. I'm scared to hell because of the medical proceedures on Monday, Doctor didn't explain a thing, just handed me a pamplet and I don't know what he's going to do.... I can't take any anti-depression meds because of the asthma and I've gotta stay away from some of the natural stuff too.. Insurance will not pay for a pdoc, so all I have is here to let out my steam.
Hope you someone here who can help.
sometimes reading a book from the library helps.
Vent away and Hugs lots of them

Hi Wolfer, I have had depression for a very long time since I was a teenager I imagine.  I was sexually abused for many years by my stepfather which is what I believe brought it on along with anxiety and panic disorder that I have.  I think I forgot to mention Post Tramatic Stress Disorder in there too.  Anyway, I am 33 yrs old and have Multiple Sclerosis dx'ed for 5 yrs now. I have always worked hard at trying to put my past behind me and moving on...I went to school and have a BS in Psychology. I am working on my Masters now....slowly.  Last year I became very sick all of a sudden and ended up in the hospital for several weeks.  Had to have a pacemaker implanted to keep my heart regulated due to Bradycardia and Sick Sinus Syndrome.  I also had extremely low blood pressure to the point that everytime I would try to stand up I would pass out.  It was determined that I have an Autonomic disorder that had brought all this on.  I was unable to return to my job so I had to resign my position and file for disability.

It is difficult to live everyday in a body that wont work or do what you want it to or what it used to.  When I was diagnosed with the autonomic disorder and found out that it was going to drastically shorten my life span I was in the darkest place I think I have ever been as far as depression goes.  My mother pushed me into seeing a psychiatrist who changed my antidepressant, that was the first step.  Then he set me up with a counselor who deals with people have severe medical issues, that was the second step.  I didnt think it would help but I went and it just to be able to get some of my fears out and know that they were validated. 

Hi, I thought I would add my 2cents. Wolfer and all of you that posted... have been through the wringer and back. We have  a right to gripe as far as I am concerned. But, then we have to do something to change things and move on out of the depression.

Unfortunately, unlike horses, we don't get shot to get us out of our pain and suffering. lol Mabye not so funny to some, but I"m sure some have wished for that kind mercy at times of great pain.

Wolfer, I would say that you are very overwhelmed and scared. Your life has changed drastically and that is somthing very difficult to look at, deal with and accept. There are all kinds of feelings involved, loss, grief, anger, and eventually if you can not get stuck in these, you will come to accept things. It is like a death of sorts, don't you think. You have lost your ability to make money, your pride has been crushed, and you mentioned you are disabled to the point of self catherization. I know something about that. I have a 24 year old with spinabifida and she does that 4 times a day and has since she was small. It's not something that is easy to manage. So, there is embarrasment over that, I'm sure. And a feeling that you have lost a part of you that you used to could control to some degree.

I have been fortunate to have not been physically ill until about 4 years ago. I do have a psychiatric disorder, bipolar2; and now have prednisone induced diabetes, Autoimmine disease attacking my liver, skin and connective tissue. After reading your posts and some of the others I feel fortunate.  Although, I have been dealing with mental and emotional pain for many years (sometmes people don't understand that as illness) it can and has been devastating at times.

These things are harder for some to accept that others. Sometimes we hold on to the past instead of living today.. wishing we could go back.. I know I do at times. I would sure have done things differently in many way, esp with my health.  The fear of the unexpected is difficult and that " what else can happen"?? song has been playing in my mind for the past 6 months.  I am working on acceptance but I'm still pretty pissed that this has happened to me.  I have to realize that I have not got much control though, except to do the things that help me. Wrting on here helps me and I hope it helps others.

I know I need feedback and encouragement from others as I trudge through these illnesses. I've had a success today. Finally the medication for the Psoriatic arthritis is working after 3 months.

I am hoping that by now you have some answers from the procedure you had done.

My best to you in dealing with these life changing and painful issues. I pray you can come to accept things in time and live with some serenity.

Sincerely,

Judy

Unfortunately, unlike horses, we don't get shot to get us out of our pain and suffering. lol Mabye not so funny to some, but I"m sure some have wished for that kind mercy at times of great pain

 

Now that I have read my post over,I regret the above statement I was trying to make a point that sometimes we feel like we want to be put out of our pain, but I think I said it in a pretty crude way.  I didn't mean to offend anyone and hope I didn't.

Sincerely,

Judy

Thanks so much for that. I had hoped that it wouldn't upset anyone, and still do.

I"m glad you have found a reliable and competent health team for Warren and yourself. That has to be a load off of both of you. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of surgery was it? Did you have it, or was it your husband. I"m rather new on here, so am not up to snuff on everything going on, or everyone.

I agree with you about the medical team. I have several specialists and they are very supportive. If they weren't, I woudn't be there.

Hope you have a good day.

Be Well,

Judy

Oh Wolfer, I am so sorry to hear that they are leaning toward that diagnosis.  As you know I was diagnosed with MS 5 years ago, I was 27 at the time right before my 28 birthday.  Mine presented with total right sided numbness so I was much like a stroke victim.  I didnt have any other medical problems at that time other then some kidney damage from a severe infection many years before.  I was newly married and had a really hard time dealing with my diagnosis as did my husband.  Physically speaking the MS is manageable...it is so scary when they say the words "multiple sclerosis" because you automatically think that your going to end up in a wheel chair crippled for the rest of your life but, there are amazing treatments for it now that they didnt have even 10 years ago that slow the progression down.  And very few do end up in that wheel chair.  To tell you the truth, I dont even think so much about it anymore.  I get up and my leg and hand may be numb and I might have spasms in my back I just take something for it and go on with my day.  But that is just me.  You can visit the Multiple Sclerosis board here on HW there are many who are in limbo land (those who havent gotten a diagnosis yet) and get lots of information on it.  That forum is what drew me to HW to begin with...I dont post over there anylonger but they all are a great group of people.  Please do keep us informed and take care.

Thinking of you, Wolfer ... when will you get results re MS?

Judy ... how are you? 

I'm struggling with the worse cold I've had in years.  Diabetes walk Saturday, art show with daughter Sunday, yard work yesterday despite runny nose ... and COLD temps all 3 days.  Need to go back to TX where forecast for today is 81.  

I know this is long, so If just 1 person responds when they have time.. 

Hi everyone. I just joined the forum because I think I've drained all my family and friends emotionally!(maybe physically 2 )  I am 24 years old and I feel like I'm 80. I have 2 beautiful boys, 5 and 2.They r the reason I keep going, although it is a nightmare trying to raise them thru anxiety and depression. Since I can remember I've always been an anxious and nervous person. I first experienced these feelings as young as 4yrs old, thats when I started school. Thru out the years I've exhausted my self avoiding social situatuions. Then when I turned 18 my life was turned upside down. 2 make a long story short, I was misdiagnosed wiht HIV. U think I would have been ok when they finally found out it wasn't that. But instead it left me a wreck. I was even more terrified 2 go 2 the docs 4 anything, thinking I was always going 2 get bad news. I stuffed that experience and tried 2 go on w/ my life. I had my first son at 19. Ideveloped pre eclampsia and it damaged my kidneys, heart, and nerves! I was depressed, and thought I was dying but I slowly got better 2 my surprise. I was scared to have another child again, but the docs told me that it wasn't likely that i would have those complications the 2nd time around. Well  I didn't have the same complications, just MORE! At 22 I had my 2nd son, and immidiately I developed severe insomnia. I didn't know why. My doc said it was just post partum depression and it would go away w/ the paxil. It never did. My insomnia got so bad I was hospitalized. Then my gallbladder went bad and I needed that removed! The surgery went horrible and I ended up in icu needing 5 pints of blood! Everything just made me go CRAZY. The docs now say I have a ,mood disorder, but who wouldn't w/ so much sleep loss? Just this past month my 2 year old stopped breathing! He has horrible tantrums, and what the docs call breath holding spells. I had never heard of it until this happened. I thought my baby was dead.He was limp and blue. I was paralyzed w/ fear barely able to dial 911, while my husband did cpr. By the grace of GOd he started breathing again after a few mins, which felt like eternity! I'm scared to b alone w/ him because I' 2 nervous it will happen again. I wonder how I can keep living w/ so much emotional and physical pain. I've tried atleast 4-5 diff meds, and 4 diff psychs! Nothing manged my problems long enough. I pray 4 everyone that is suffering, please pray 4 me.