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dazed and confused

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Posted 1/8/2007 1:51 PM (GMT 0)
Ok, I guess it is better to get things out somewhere rather then bottle them up. I don't have anyone around that i can realy confide in. I sit here most of the time w/ soooo much on my mind and dno what i am suposed to do about any of it. So many time all i want to do is just cry. Not that i realy have a reason to, I just do! every med i have tryed work for a lil while then i am back to the same ol same ol. I try to 'rationalize' everything, but It is no good. I always end up in the same situation. My Pr decided that me not working for a while may help me to relieve some stress and get me back into a better state of mind, but now all it does is drive me crazy trying to get some help financialy. I have 2 kids to try and suport on what lil I get from family services. I am greatfull that my babies's daddy is there for them. (even though there not realy babies anymore). 75% of the time I am home alone.... and it is times like now that i wish that i wernt. I just hurts me sooo much that all i realy want is my beau to just put his arms around me and just tell me that it is all going to be ok.  but he cant be here because of work (I dont blame him). where is all this help that everyone says is out there when you realy need it the most?! call the "Crisis Center"...... that is what i am told to do, but all they tell you to do is call your doc. and usually by time you can call and talk to your doc, the 'crisis' is over.  I am at a loss......... I dont' know what to do anymore! I have soooo many issues in my life that are beyond my control and It doesnt matter how much I tell my self that they still tare me up inside.   I tryed the therapy thing but all they tell me is what i have been telling myself..... what good does that realy do.? Any one got any sugestion............ PLEASE HELP!
Posted 1/8/2007 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi aimhigh, I wanted to welcome you to healing well.  It seems that your having some serious anxiety.  I understand that you worry about the bills and not working and then your home alone to think about all these things that keep going over and over in your mind.  Of course your going to want your guy to tell you that everything is going to be alright and not to worry.  But is that going to help stop this thought process?  Most likely not.

Thearpy is a great tool for anyone but if you have major depression it isnt really going to resolve much in the way of this as you've got a chemical imbalance going on there.  Are you on an antidepressant or antianxiety medication?  I would suggest speaking to your doctor regarding your feelings, make an appointment or try to get bumped up...whatever you have to do.  Most crisis lines arent going to do much to help unless your intent is to harm yourself or others.  But most important you have to calm down, breath deep breaths and try to do what you need to do to get better so you can take care of your kids.

Please know we are always here so feel free to continue to post.  Take care

Posted 1/8/2007 3:18 PM (GMT 0)

hey aimhigh... well, i think it's important to let things out. so, start a journal or just get on here and say whatever youre upset about and we'll be here for you.  also, its important to have friends. do you have any close friends or maybe even relatives you can call and confide in? 

i'm new..so...i'm not too good at giving adivce yet. but i hope it helps a little?

<3.

Posted 1/8/2007 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
thank you! I love the name!

unfortunatly no there isn't any family around even thought I have 2 sisters and a brother it is more like being an only child who's parents have both passed away. (and there all alive). I do have a beau but it is hard to talk to him, more often than not he doesnt understand. Not that he doesnt try. I appreciate him very much but he seems to have his own issues that he never wants to talk to me about either and more often than not i feel left out. As far as 'friends' are concerned, i seem to have lost them all just as soon i was the one who needed the help and not the one giving the help or advice anymore. Right now I feel like i am looking for sympathy. Believe me I am not but it just gets so dam* hard sometimes.

I have spoken to my Pr about the mood swings and cry spells, and he is trying to help me to get on ssi, but that takes time. and I know that i just have to be patient. But it doesn't always help. I am on antidepresants Cymbalta and trazadone, but there just the newest of the meds only about 3-4 days now. I had been taking Effexor XR and Remeron which didnt do much for me even after increasing dosages and mixing and matching for 2 years. I have been on lamictal and wellbutrin  And B 4 that was on lexapro.

that doesn't incl. what my DR. has me on either. pain relievers muscle relaxers and anti inflamitorys. It just feels like it is all so "trial and error". I try each day to find something that isn't so bad or something good to keep me going.I am just loosing faith in the medical field.

I truely appreciate your taking the time to listen to me vent........... It does help just to get it out and @ least 'feel' like someone is listening. It makes me feel @ lil more like I'm not alone in this fight.

Posted 1/9/2007 3:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi aimhigh..
Well as you can see you are not alone anymore..there are some really wise and wonderful people here to help you.. :)
Medications are half the battle..the other half has to come from within..and yip it's a battle sometimes.
Ok, so you are not working just now..you have been given this opportunity to relax...so relax lol. Let the meds take effect. How about some sort of counselling/therapy to learn new skills for coping..this could be a positive step towards feeling better eh?
Do you think it was the job you were doing that was contributing towards your depression/stress? Is it possible to upskill while you have time to yourself? Anything to get your active and not thinking how 'ick' you are feeling right now..
Let us know how you get on.
Matee
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