OVER STESSED DISORDERS (spontaionous depression)

This is a quick overview of my life story and hopefully you can answer questions for me, and I will give any knowledge I have towards questions on here also. I am a successful atractive 24 year old male but just that donesn't keep a man happy. In 6/4/05 I was married to a girl I knew about a year. She grew up in the system in and out of homes since she was 14. She had many problems and a lot of baggage. We had a baby girl together that was born on 2/4/05. Two months after our marriage she had an old friend down from her home state N.H. and decided to sleep with him in the woods behind my house. She then had a 4 month internet relationship with him. I learned what went on by breaking into her e-mail with my suspicisions. She also wrote she was willing to sacrafice her child to go be with him. So I confronted her with this and she wanted to stay with me and work on things. Well then I caught her sleeping with a guy in the vehicle I bought her at the place of our marriage. Then found out she slept with a guy at 2 different jobs she had that only lasted a month. She was a young beautiful attractive girl and she slept with 6 or so people in a short time in our home and vehicles. The people she was with were from a 105 pound guy that was 16 and looked 12 to 300 pound black man. She obviously is messed up yes I know. Before she ever admited to any of this or it was a shure thing in my mind she moved into an appartment down the road to work on herself and our relationship. My daughter was 13 months. She took all her things but left my daughter with me. Then 6 months later on my birthday night I caught her asking out a so called friend of mine that I got a job with me out. Then she filed emergency custody and took my daughter from me and my family. She then let the guy she asked out move in with her and got pregnant. Then she moved an hour away. Now I am involved in a custody battle. about a month ago she said she wanted counciling and addmitted to many mistakes. She said she wanted to come home. I said if she resloved the custody battle by signing it over to me she could. I already spent 5000 and I didn't trust her. She agreed and moved back in. Then three days later moved back out. She had many items we moved and she moved with her our daughter also. So all this made my life suck.

So my problem is stress and now to create anxiety. Throughout the end of my marrige and up untill she moved in for the three days I used *** to calm my anxiety. Most of the time it worked but its only a short term soulution to a larger problem. Now with the responsibilities of every day life I do not want to rely on an illegal substance. My court date is on Valentines day and the anxiety is getting worse. I am very confident in my career but it comes in goes in my personl life. I can sit around with a nice girl and be relaxed and talk and then bam I start to get anxity that fogs my head. Maybe I need someone to talk to? Or a pill? Some times I wish I was dumb like a friend or two of mine, you know the guy who never stops smileing. Instead I was blessed with that wonderfull thinking ability in which a time a stress you cant shut it off. How long does it take when someone ripps your heart out for your head to heal. I grew up with two sisters so I know how to talk to a woman but did this one make me afraid. I have heard the best way to heal is go out and get another woman but this one rotton apple at this time makes me want to say screw the whole basket. But again I am a man made for a woman so I must get through. So I guess this is me venting and maybe a reply will help. Thanx

I am sorry but I have had to edit part of your post due to forum rule 1 no discussion of illegal substances.  I hope you understand. ~ Thank You ~ Elisha

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 2/4/2007 2:24:44 PM (GMT-7)

Hi TooRelax
Elisha has given you excellent advice.
I just wanted to add one more thing. I know you are fresh in the whole matter. But someday life will go on.When that time comes just try to remember that not all woman are like that. You will eventually find someone that appreciates you. And loves you just as much as you love her.
I come from the "been cheated on" side,and I had a very bad attitude towards men. In fact I thought they were all alike and would not give anyone a chance. It took a very special person to change my mind. But,he comes from the been "cheated on" side too,and now it seems we spend too much time convincing the other person that we are not that way.
Good luck with your court date,I really hope things turn out for you.

Hey TooRelax,

First, welcome to the forum.  Sorry to hear about the hairy custody battle you have to go through and the anxiety it is causing you.  You need to project the most stable and consistant appearance you can.

First, stop immediately all contact with illegal substances and any associations with friends, family, or anyone else you know who has access to them.  Cleaning up your act is really important.  To handle the anxiety, immediately go see your primary care physician and tell him that you need something for anxiety (explain your circumstances).  Ask him for a recommendation for a psychologist/psychiatrist (someone who can prescribe medications for you) and a some type of talk therapist that can help you work through your anxiety issues.

You also need to stop constantly reviewing all the bad points of your relationship with your ex in your head.  The details are not important now, except for the information you need to document for your custody case.  Do you have an attorney to represent you?  Are you living in a stable environment?  Do you have family around to help you out?  I know you said your court case was on Valentine's Day, but try to get all these things in the works before your court date, so the judge will take it seriously.  Maybe you can even find a "parenting" class to sign up for in the meantime.

Anyway, I hope things go well for you and that this post helped you out a little.  Let us know how thing are progressing.

Leigh Ann