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Very much want to cry right now, extension of previous post.

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Posted 5/8/2007 8:57 AM (GMT 0)
If you have read my previous post, you'll know why I'm talking about this.

Sorry to burden you all.

I have just been reading a profile website and came across a couple of people I know.

One of them has been with her boyfriend for two years. Last time I looked on her profile she was with him and saying all nice things about him and blah. This time I checked it says I'm single now time to have fun!

The other one is another girl I know she had split from her bf a while ago but remained really close friends with him. Now they appear to have fallen out and by the looks of it wiped each other out of their lives.

These things both made me scream inside, It makes me down and want to cry. I panic and worry and think 'Theres no hope for me and my relationship then'. I don't know why this happens to me, and I know I shouldn't let ti bother me but I can't help it. My heart pounds and a feeling of dread pours over me.

What is this, and why do I panic/bother about these things. I seem to be obsessed over relationships! Help me!

 

Posted 5/8/2007 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Scotsgal
Breaking up is a fact of life. You will always have times where you think that everyone you know is breaking up around you. But,you can not compare them with your current relationship.
I have only been in my current relationship for 3 years,and due to my depression/anxiety and panic attacks I too have days to where I am very insecure about it which causes problems in it. He basically gets frustrated with me because I am second guessing him.
Have you talked to your boyfriend about your thoughts? Is he reassuring? At some point you need to realize it takes two to tango basically. And you need to trust him. If he ends up burning that trust at some point,well quite frankly that is a fact of life.
I hope I do not sound harsh here,but I have been through breakups,thought I would never get over them and found myself not even thinking about that person after awhile.

Please talk to him if you haven't already and listen to him.


Shy
Posted 5/8/2007 12:17 PM (GMT 0)
sad  I can relate with what you are saying.  I have been on this forum for several months and I also have had to watch a beautiful relationship end.  I have a hard time with people being able to get over a relationship and moving on so quickly.  Yes, it is a part of life and some times it is a tragic one!  For me, I still mourn the loss of my last relationship.  I was married twice and never had the feelings of loss that I do for this person. 

 

To some people, relationships come and go.  I will admit that I have had relationships that have come and gone, including my marriages that yes I mourned them but I was able to move on eventually.

 

I have found peace in audio cassettes and books.  There are great selections at your library.

Sounds like some great resources for you would be self-discovery books.  What I do and this is my little secret..... tongue is to go to a bookstore like Barnes and noble with a notepad and write down all the books or tapes that I find informative for whatever issue I am dealing with.  I write down the book name, author, and publish date and dont forget the ISBN number it is in the front of the book.  Sometimes there are 2 of them write both of them down.  Then I reserve them at the library for free!!!  I dont have a lot of money so when I find 500 or 600 dollars worth of books I would enjoy at these stores, I am overjoyed to be able to read them for free!!!  Now there are ones that I want to keep for reference, i go to half.com for those.

 

I hope this helps you a little bit, trust me, I understand and still continue to grieve over a relationship, this advice helps me.

Take care,

Teresa

Posted 5/8/2007 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there I don't know if I have put my situation across wrong.
I havn't actually split with my bf. That is the last thing I want.

Its just the fact that I seem to be going over a rocky patch with him due to the way I'm feeling, that when I see things like, what I have written above, I suffer and go through the motions, etc I have noted above. I hate it and want to be happy in my relationship, but this cruddy illness is stopping it.

I love my bf more than anything, and I know I do even if I can't feel it properly. I hate hurting him like this. But needless to say he still stands by me :)
Posted 5/8/2007 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
You need some kind of a battle plan to force yourself away from living vicariously through other people's lives. Next time you find yourself reaching for a magazine, what can you do to stop yourself? What can you do in that instant to stop yourself from doing something you know is destructive? You've already identified what triggers your highs and lows: reading about other people in magazines, seeing it on TV, searching out internet profiles. Stop and think for a moment. You're already ahead of the game knowing what triggers these feelings in you. Now you have to find a way to stop yourself when you reach for the magazine rack, or click that mouse on someone's profile. Only you can figure that out.
Posted 5/8/2007 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Scotsgal, I am not a psychiatrist or therapist. It sounds like you know exactly what causes your unhappiness and compulsions. Sorry if you said this but are you seeing a professional? Can you get to see one? Maybe they can shed more light on this and be of greater help. I do wish you well. I have a girlfriend  that is always comparing her life to others and thinks everyone is better off then she. I always tell her it isn't true and comparing looks, or material things and relationships is definitely not helpful. I tell her to keep her eyes off of others. I don't have the answers but I know we need to be happy with what we have and realize what we see is only our illusion of what the truth of the matter may be. For example, this same friend, I thought had a great relationship with her husband, little did I know back then how bad he was to her. We don't know, and shouldn't be concerned with it anyway. Hope I made some sense and hope you get the help you need. Take care.
Posted 5/9/2007 2:19 PM (GMT 0)
Yea but shes not helping v much I feel. I have had to move my doc appointment to tomorrow due to my mum not being able to go with me cos my bro has been hit bad with Chrons again. I am going to ask to be reffered to a pysc instead of just a councillor. and to change my meds. Ill let yo now how it goes.
Posted 5/10/2007 12:00 PM (GMT 0)
Good Luck!!


Shy
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