will it go away?

I am an 18 year old girl. I just was told yesterday that I am severely depressed and am suffering from anxiety attacks. I know the reason why, but I am scared I will never be able to stop it. I recently was in a relationship.. with a girl. I have never been involved with or interested in any other girls, but thi was my best friend and it lasted over a year. We fought all the time and were on and off, but recently she just got involved with someone.. and this time I know hse has moved on. This girl she is with now is in my school. Whenever I see her I get major anxiety. I left my senior awards night becuse I could not stand to sit near this girl (we are both in the top 10 of our class, i have to sit with her). I do not want to go to my own graduation. I am not going back to school. I feel like quitting my job, I don't want to do anything. I stay up all night because I can't sleep because all I can do is think and cry, and my heart beats faster than ever. I try to forget about her but she was the first person I ever loved and I feel like I will never get over her. I wanted her back so bad this time. I was ready to be open and to do everything we wanted. She used to tell me she wanted to marry me. Now I have nothing. She told me she will never be with me again and that she really likes this girl. She told me to move on because hse did and she is happy. It breaks my heart to know that I will never be able to kiss her again or have her hold me like hse used to, not to mention that she is telling another girl the things she told me. I feel absolutely terrible every day.. i try to break the habit of talking to her, but yesterday she contacted me because she had been told I didn't go to school and noticed I was not in my house. I was not goign to call her and tell her I was depressed. But I did. And once again I am stuck and all I can think about is her. I just want her to come back to me and everything will be okay.

Will this feeling ever go away.

Post Edited (hurt 110) : 6/8/2007 3:01:49 PM (GMT-6)

 The first thing that you need to do is take care of you!  I know that you are going through depression and sadness with the loss of someone that to others may look like that bad guy and whether or not she is, you need to take care of you and then be healthy enough to make a decision to yourself that this person is worthy of the healthy person you are!!!!!

 

Advice is easy to give. The reason I say this is that I practice what I preach, it is the hardest thing in the world to do but the alternative is too lay down.  It is important to the person that l love to get better to get strong, pathetic as it may sound that wills me to get better because in my heart of hearts, healthy is attractive and I deserve it and so do you!!

 

Good luck honey!

Hurt
First of all I want to welcome you to the board,I am very glad that you found us.

Losing someone is so hard. You feel like you will never love again,and your heart hurts everytime you breath it seems like.
But,the truth is,you will wake up one day and the pain will be a little less,then a week later it will be even more less. Until one day you wake up and you realize you haven't thought about that person in a very long time.

Loosing our first love is probably one of the hardest lessons life gives us. But You can get thru it. I promise.

Can you go to your school counselor and talk to them? Is it possible to go to your mom and talk to her? I am very worried about you and think you need to get in to see someone right away.


Please keep us posted.

Shy