Just a question

Do any of you ever wake up and just know the day ahead is gonna be horrible and you just feel rubbish...for no reason at all :s

I woke up this morning and I just felt rubbish edgy and upset from the word go.

I got up yesterday and went swimming with my boyfriend I had a good time at the time and really enjoyed myself. But now when I think back on the occassion I think 'Well did I have a good time?' 'and other doubts like that! Its so silly as I know I actually had a good time but I still question it.

Anyway we went home and all of a sudden I just started being angry and horrible to him! To be honest he never did a thing wrong, infact he was making a real effort with me y/day but I couldn't help it. I don't want to be horrible to him and I feel upset about it but I just do it.

Then at night we were watching a film which was quite sad and at the end I started crying, but this wasn't your normal crying at a film, I was in hysterics I stopped and started and stopped and started and in the end I couldn't breath and my eyes were red and puffy for near enough an hour after..I don't know what made me that bad!

I am just in a weird position just now I analyse everything, find faults with everything and no matter how much of a good time etc I have I doubt myself and end up thinking the doubts are the reality if that makes sense. I spoil what good times I do have and the rest usually are bad.

I went for a college interview last week and I felt so edgy and anxious and scared. This time last year when I went for one I was never like that. i could hardly breath and felt like crying.

I was speaking to the boy who works in my local shop this morning, even though I was in a bad mood this morning and feeling cr*p i was nice to him, as I am to all strangers, but why am I so horrible to my bf and family.

I really don't like me right now :(

Good Morning,

We treat the people we work with and the customer well because we must, it is our job and it is easier because they do not know our issues. They come and go daily in our lives and customers we may never see again.

It is much easier to take out our anger, and our frustration on our loved ones as we believe that they will not leave us and sometimes we feel guilty and undeserving of their devotion to us.  We try to test them to the limit to see if they really love us. 

I hope you have a therapist to work with on this as I know after an episode you feel guilty for taking your stress out on them instead of using new ways to reduce your stress.

Gentle Hugs to you and I hope you can learn new ways to deal with the bad days.

My answer to your question, I will wake up thinking this is going to be a good day and then I get struck down.  You never know what the day will bring. :)