What is my problem.

I don't think I've ever been properly diagnosed. Docs say its depression and anxiety, but I don't know. Sometimes, when I wake up, I am in a very dark place. Its like I feel like im a bad person. Ive done bad things in my life that I am ashamed of and I feel guilty over but these are things I did in my teens, Im 30 now, I would never do those things now for I know how much I could hurt people. Nevertheless I am plagued with guilt. This dark feeling I get is weird, its scary, its like a world inside myself without love. Its like the opposite of love. Also, I isolate myself most of the time and when Im out people always ask me why I look so down. I could be in an ok mood but people still ask why I look so angry. So when Im in public I feel like I have to force a smile, cause one rarely comes naturally. My only social interactions are dates from dating lines and my mom occasionally. I want to be normal. The only way I can find happiness is to hide in my house, overeat and watch movies.

Reason for edit:

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Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 10/1/2007 4:57:59 AM (GMT-6)

Hi guy
I too wanted to welcome you to the forum,I am sure you will find the support that you are looking for.
Our pasts seem to always creep up on us when we are dealing with depression. It is very hard to get over,and harder to forgive ourselves.

As Darren said,use this forum to vent,and express yourself. We all are dealing with alot of issues,and sometimes it feels better to type it out.

Shy

I have never tried it,but I know that it works for alot of people.
That is the step in the right direction,you should research that right away.


Please keep us posted and stay strong.


Shy

30,

I hope you don't try to taper off the Paxil without talking to your doctor.  I see you have some other health issues going on also.  Give yourself a bit of a break, you are dealing with a lot.  Try to take it a day at a time.  You do need to get out and be around other people even if you just go to the library or to a bookstore.  Why don't you try to set yourself some goals such as: this week I will make myself go out in public two times or something like that.   I noticed you are on Prednisone, which I also have to take for asthma.  It doesn't help your mood swings any either, but when you have to take it, you have to take it.

Welcome to the forum and I hope you stay in touch with us.

Take care!

Carla