The news is not good part 2 for Restless

Hello Carla,
You will have to forgive me for not keeping in contact but i have found it difficult to find a few minutes to even log on .
Things have been going along ok ,Since completing my cancer treatment and then the treatment for the depression i have been really tired .
Last week i met with my old psychologist for the first time since being discharged from the hospital and it was good just to talk to her .She is really pleased with my progress even though i`m having a few problems .She has suggested that i see a psycharitist that now comes out here every two weeks so that i do not revert to the old me.
So i have an appointment to see her in early January and will give it a try and see how i go ,I just do not want to go through everything again .
One of my biggest problems is that a side effect of the medication i`m now on has been significant weight gain to the stage where i`m feeling very uncomfortable and not sure if i can continue like this .I spoke to the local dr here about my concerns but he said i am not to come off the medication he has been in contact with the psycharitist that i was under in hospital and he wants me to stay on it .
Christmas is only a day away here and would dearly love to have all my kids here together but know that they won`t come because of whats happened over the past few years .
Only three of the five of them will be here and i know i should be greatful for that but it`s just not the same .When i was in hospital having the cancer treatment all but one would ring to see how i was but the one i missed the most didn`t even try to contact me .
There have been a few issues since i came back home and i found it really hard adjusting back into family life after being away for 8 weeks but one thing i can say is that i have only had one day sine i returned that i shed a few tears so thats pretty good considering that before i was constantly in tears all the time .
One of the best things i did learn was to relax using a relaxation tape it is so good even tried it on hubby one night but i fell asleep before he did .and i found it a great help with my migraines even though they have become more frequent i do not feel unwell for as long any more so it`s been good .

Carla i would like to end tonight Sending you and your family my warmest wishes for a happy christmas and my wish is that you have a wonderful and bright new year ahead .God bless and stay safe .
Many thanks Jane (restless )

Hi and welcome to a new year hope everyone has a better one than last .
I has such big plans when i left the hospital and i knew it was not going to be easy .Things just have not gone to plan infact i have slipped back quite a way ,
The medication ( Avanza ) that the psycharitist put me on is working ok but it`s the side effect that is getting me really down .In the short time i have been on it i have put on a massive 16kg .I just can`t cope with being this big and even thought hubby has not said anything to me i know the weight is a very big issue with him .When i went for a check up with the dr out here i asked him if i could come off it as i was really concerned then but he told me i couldn`t come off it and the weight would settle down well that was a couple of weels ago and another three kilos have been added .I`m really consious of what i eat and due to the fact of our hot summer walking isn`t an option yet .I keep myself really busy all day long so that i am active as much as possile but it doesn`t make a difference.
I saw my old psychologist and at the time i was ok but i now also see another psychologist who come here more regularly and so far i have seen her once am due to see her again in a couple of weeks she was ok to talk to but i had to go through all my past as she said she couldn`t read the other ones writing .This just topped of a lousy week for me as my daughter has been having so many arguements ,I`m looking to the day she will leave home this is one child that i will not be sad to see leave home .I cant even talk to hubby about it as he has had enough of her as well .Ihave tried to ignore her accusations but she is in my face every day there is no escaping her foul mouth and laziness.She is so lazy she wont go and get a job she asks for money all the time but i will not give her any she complains that she needs this and that so i tell her the only way she will get anything is to get a job and buy it .I have had about as much of her as i can .
My days are really busy cleaning my house and continually picking up after the two kids that are left also i look after a baby for a working mum then add all the animals i look after and there is not enought time left for me to do the things i want to do .yesterday i thought well today i`m not doing anything and by the time hubby got home from work my home looked like the rubbish tip hubby went off .so i then had to clean the bloody mess up by myself while the lazy bloody kids sat down and watched tv .It wasn`t fair that hubby had to come home to it like he did but i told him i left it just to see if they would do anything and as i thought nothing was done .
Sorry just to rave on but i really needed to talk to someone .
Restless

Hi Restless
I am so glad that you checked in.

Is there anyone in the family that your daughter respects?
Here is why I am asking.... my son as you know has a problem with being nasty at times...he threatened his step mom,so therefore his dad kicked him out.. I had no idea what to do,so I contacted my brother and asked if he could stay with him.

My brother is alot bigger and tougher than my son,and my son has always looked up to him.
It has been 2 months now,and things are going great. He is a different kid,respectful with me and my brother's wife.

I am wondering if someone could come stay with your family for a week or so,and then "correct"' your kids when they are screwing up?

Or...maybe you could find a mean drill Sergent to come stay with you for a month!!! HA,wouldn't' that be awesome.

Just thought i`d pop in for an update sadly it`s not as good as i would of liked at this time.I have slipped back considerably .Mostly is the stress bought on by my daughter just living with her is so difficult .I know i have gone backwards and even my new psychologist said as much in our last meeting last week .She even asked me if i wanted to go back into the clinic again for a rest but i do not want to go there .Today i talked to the pharmacist and he recommended a good course of mutli vitamins as i have become so run down and my body has started to take it`s toll .
I am still struggeling with the issue of the wait gain from the anti depressant hubby and i go for a 5km brisk walk at night ( the past couple of nights i have had to stop this ) due to not being well enough .
I know i have become a bit obsessive with my house work and get very annoyed with anyone who messes it up especially my kids i`m constantly cleaning and picking things up .I know if i leave it for them to do it won`t be done so instead i am running around doing it .
One good thing is that i can still go down the street by myself and not feel uncomfortable as i use to be and infact enjoy being out for a bit .
I can see the things that make my day so busy but for the life of me i can`t stop doing it .I just continually keep on the go .By night time i`m so exhausted that i fall to sleep quickly but it`s another thing staying asleep i wake constantly during the night .So the dr has told me i am to take sleeping pills each night so i can sleep this i do not like doing but am doing what he says because i know if i`m tired then it will be even harder for me to keep up with everything.
Ok i have to go will drop by again soon .
Restless

Hi there,

Its good to hear from you again Jane. Im sorry that things are not as good as you wanted them to be but try to keep a positive frame of mind. Is your daughter of an age where she can be rewarded for doing some of the housework? There is nothing wrong with being house proud... my mum is the same (Especially when I am back from Uni on holiday!) While I am away, there is no-one there to mess it up... until I arrive! lol. I am glad you are still seeing the psychologist and that you still share a good relationship.

All the best

Darren

I was hoping that she might be a little younger. Rewarding kids doesnt seem to work once they get to 16-17. What is stopping her getting a job? Qualifications or her laziness? Unfortunately I dont have kids so I dont really have any ideas on how to control them but I hope that you get things sorted out soon. Does she have any treatment for her ADHD?

All the best

Darren

Hi Darren , It is sheer laziness on her part we have been at her a lot to go and find a job but it just seems the more we do the worse she is becoming .I really feel she is too frightened to even try yet on the other hand when other distant members of my family and friends ask her she tells them she has applied for a lot of jobs when in actual fact i know she has not applied for any .She is continual telling lies so i really do not know how she will ever keep one when she gets it .She has refused to take medication for many years hence the bad behaviour all the time .

Shy , all my other four children have very good jobs the oldest a qualified electrician ,the next at 23 is the emergency officer for one of the big mines here in town .While the next is a heavy deisel mechanic and even the youngest works here in town at a fast food store .This daughter is the only one who sits around all day doing nothing .It has been such a drain mentally and physically to be around her if i could i would  find a job for her but thats not even a possability .

I just look to the day she leaves and only hope i`m still around  to see it .

Restless

Hi

I really think it is the generation,you see so many kids that age not doing anything..it is weird.