It's that most wonderful time of year yet it is always so sad and hard for me

I have not posted in a long time - got a new job(which totally sucks) and I am so incredibly tired when I get home I just want to collapse.  I work very close to where I live so no long commute which I thought would be great.  I have a supervisor who is training me and all she ever does is critisize me.  If I do something right or do a good job she never praises me.  She tells me about the smallest mistakes I make - ones that are so easily correctible but she just can't help but put me down.  I have only been working part time and for just a few months but I feel so demoralized. I am at the point where I am considering quiting because I can't keep on working at a place when my stomach is in knots before I go in.  I can't even eat breakfast except for maybe a piece of toast and a little milk. And I am getting diarrhea  also on the days I work.  Is this kind of stress worth it?  The problem is the pay is really good and I do need the extra money.  I am still looking at other jobs but not much luck and it took me almost a year to find this one. The other problem is I really don't like the holidays.  I always get so depressed.  I have so little family and I always think of others who have big families and wonderful times and celebrations. Do any of you get the holiday blues?  I do volunteer work so I am out in the community helping others but I still feel so bad.  Any words of encouragement would be very much appreciated.  I had to go to the grocery store after work on Mon. and I was going down the aisles with tears streaming down my face.  I'm sure others must have wondered what was wrong or if I was just nutty.

Thank you "getting by" for your kind words of encouragement.  They really made me feel better.  I am going to try very hard not to let the supervisor force me out of the job.  And it's funny that you mentioned it but I was talking to a friend and describing my treatment and her reaction was that this woman is probably jealous of me.  She is about my age wheras all the other girls are much younger and maybe she feels she has better control over them.  She has commented on my clothing as I do dress very nicely and have a great haircut and present a very respectable appearance so jealousy could be the reason.  If she should fire me I can always collect unemployment insurance.  Also, I do have something fun to do over the holidays.  I am taking my sons and girlfriend out to a favorite restaurant and then to a beautiful choral concert after.  So I do have something to look forward to.  Again thanks for being so nice and understanding.

Hi Aurora and Welcome back!

Im sorry this is not on better terms though. It is a shame that your supervisor is not being very sympathetic to you... I can understand why shy might critisise you when you are training but not if she is being pedantic(sp) and she shouldbe praising you for a job well done as well... have you tried talking to her or your manager? Is there another supervisor you can train with?

Darren

Hello Aurora (goddes of the dawn and of new beginnings!!!!!)


Don't let this supervisor push you out of a job that you like (if you like it) and that pays well. She CAN'T be top of the heap unless she owns the company. There's ALWAYS someone higher. But get your ducks in a row before you go over her head or she'll make your life a living hell.

Go right to her and SAY TO HER: It seems like I'm not doing the job to your satisfaction. Am I on target in my training or behind? Are there specific areas you'd like me to focus on? I'd like to do well in this position because I like working here but it frequently seems like I'm not meeting your expectations.

Did you see the trick there? Not ONCE did you accuse her of being nasty and mean. You're ASKING for direct and specific feedback. Mark down the date that you have the conversation with her and the outcome. If she continues to berate you THEN you have "ammunition" to bring to her superiors. I might also suggest that you do a little follow-up note to her (if you choose to ask her about your progress) that recaps your conversation so that it's IN WRITING and in your personnel file. Of course, keep a copy yourself!

If you think it'll come to her firing you - document document document EVERYTHING so that if your unemployment is challenged (and it can be), you have a paper trail or notes to support your case. Trust me, companies do NOT like having to pay unemployment and will do their best to avoid it (and to hell with you in the meantime). You have to watch out for YOU.


Now - holiday blues. Listen, sometimes family makes the holidays even worse - like HELL actually! I'm not suggesting that you have it "better" without family, merely that a family may not make it happier. You make a difference in someones life by volunteering; what could be more "goodwill toward men" than that? YOU are doing what the season is all about.

So you cry...no big deal...I cry at certain christmas songs - - - just because. I don't think that makes you nutty, just emotional.

i usually get sad around the holidays, too. work gets stressful and money becomes a big issue. I too also get teary just walking through a store but i hide it before anyone really notices it. it may seem like you're getting irritable lately and it sounds like you just need a break. i think you'd feel better if you took some "alone" time and just spent it being alone with your thoughts and treat yourself. go shopping or for a walk(weather depending) or go to a spa for the day. it always helps :)

Aurora,

I noticed you haven't been around for about a month... I hope everything is okay with you!