Rose,
It's ok. You didn't do this to you... Diabetes did this. Diabetes makes your body process carbohydrates differently from normals. (It's a hereditary defense mechanism against famine. In case the entire wheat/corn/rice crop of the world is wiped out next season you're all set!) Right now you will start on a new food plan and soon start to lose weight. Then you will see that you can eat all the same foods you could always eat, just not all at one time. For example, tonight I had a mondo huge salad for dinner with lots of green peppers, raw spinach, purple cabbage, some turkey, cheese, olives and dressing... It was delicious! For my bedtime snack I had a scoop of ice cream (real, not diatetic) on a cone and enjoyed it so slowly and wonderfully, lick by lick. I've had my meds and in the morning my sugar will be about
89-100. I traded my bread/potato/pasta part of my meal for ice cream as a bedtime snack. See?
I eat chocolate when I need it for my sanity, make real food and the only diabetic things I do is to use splenda in my coffee or drink diet pop. I still have small servings of special desserts at times, eat a few french fries, 1/2 a donut on Sunday morning... The amounts have changed but the foods are still there.
Click on the colored words for
some basic info about the forum and adjusting to diabetes as a diagnosis. You are right on track for feeling the way you do. It is normal and healthy to feel lost and afraid. It will pass and you will get back on track. We will help you and pretty soon you will be the one helping the newbies who come here. Hang in there, girlfriend. You can do this.