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Posted 7/15/2008 5:28 AM (GMT 0)
I have a little problem here. When people meet me or even friends, so to say, and they see me have a seizure they are turned off to me - even if I tell them beforehand I might end up seizing in front of you. That really gets to me sometimes.. I try to just not let it bother me and carry on but it is difficult at times because it's almost that like I bottle things up then sometimes it gets to me so much that I end up hurting others, almost like either I want them to feel sorry for me or maybe just that I stoop to violence for an answer that I am not aware of.

Does or can anyone relate and possibly give me some advice on that?
Posted 7/15/2008 10:12 AM (GMT 0)

HI there and Welcome to HealingWell,

Im not really sure I understand what you mean by 'switching off to you'. Do you mean that you have seizures in front of friends and they ignore it? Or do you mean that they simply dont want to be your friend anymore because of your epilepsy?

I guess either way, they are not your friends if that is how they are thinking and I think you are probably better off without them. I can certainly relate to people discarding me as a friend because of my epilepsy. I hurt me a great deal to start with but I started thinking about it in a new way. You have to think... who is REALLY losing out? Are you losing out because your 'friend' doesnt like you anymore because they are being petty and shallow? Or are THEY losing out because they are losing someone who cares about them and is a true friend?

People are (generally) very ignorant of disorders which are 'invisible' (I.e. Things you cannot see on the outside) such as Epilepsy, Schizophrenia, Depression, Bi-Polar Disorder, Chrons etc... Your friends have 2 choices. They can either embrace the fact that they have a friend that can teach them something and have a stronger relationship because of that, or they can remain ignorant and end up losing out.

In regards to the immediate problem, try having a gentle word with them and see what the reaction is. Sometimes people do things unconciously and it might be that they dont even know they are doing it. Dont bottle it up as it eventually erupts as a volcano of abuse towards someone who probably doesnt deserve it... trust me, Iv'e been there! lol

We are always here if you need to talk

Darren

Posted 7/18/2008 3:46 AM (GMT 0)

Yes, by 'switching off' or turning away I do mean they avoid me, and eventually no relationship at all.

I suppose you are right about those things you mentioned about the self esteem issues.  And now I am even getting counselling for self esteem issues but even if the counsel sessions do help, then I will probably look back and think I had to stoop to counselling to get over some stuff.

I don't know, maybe I am wrong..but it(low self esteem) does seem like a prety good circle.  But I do know that 'circle' will be broken and I, and EVERYONE ELSE, will be liberated.

Posted 7/21/2008 10:37 AM (GMT 0)
I think you have a slightly warped idea of councelling. When you say "I had to stoop to counselling to get over some stuff" , you make it sound like councelling is for weak people and is a step down from where you are... Thats just not true.

People who go to councelling are strong people since it takes a lot of courage to make the decision to go. They are people who recognise there is a problem and are interested in fixing it in order to make themselves better people. Dont think of councelling as a step down, more of a time-out or a step sideways. No matter how you look at it, your still just as good as anyone else.

Darren

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