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I need a friend to give me a ride

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Posted 3/12/2005 4:41 AM (GMT 0)

sad  Hi! My name is Caroleena and I am 23 years old. I have had epilepsy since I was 1 year old because of high fever. My type is complex partial.

Recently, I have been doing well with one of the very new medications named Lamictal. I cannot complain on the fact that I do not have seizures again and again. However, I am still not quite there yet for me to do something I really wish............................ that is to DRIVE!!

It is very hard to live in a city like Houston, TX and not having a car. Public Transportation is cool. However, there are times when I have to walk to work (approximately 30-40 minutes) and the thing is that many people feel sorrow for me.... they cannot imagine being in Houston without a car and walking is even worse. It is so hard to be almost there but still not quite enough to be able to do what others do. Moreover, what is also frustrating is that people tell me why? why? I do not drive and I never have the courage to tell them the real story!!! It is too much to tell in just five minutes. Thankfully, I live 7 minutes away from my part-time work. Otherwise, nobody would give me a ride.

I'd love to speak with all of you and let out what's inside of us.

Take Care, confused

Posted 3/12/2005 1:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi! Well so far for me, driving was hard. I was 23 at the time of DX and the neuro simply said, oh you cannot drive for the next 6 months. Strip a girl of her license after 6 years and you feel naked. I hope things go well for you. Dealing with E is hard. Mary is right, this is a wonderful group of people who will give you support whenever you need it. So I look forward to hearing from you in the future. hang in there. Take care, Tracy
Posted 3/13/2005 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
HI Carlena, I am sorry that you are not able to drive but walking and public transport are good too! I know it is limited since there are things you need a ride for.

My advice? Be honest with friends. Tell them you have a medical condition that does not allow you to drive. You do not need to specify if you are not comfortable. Many have problems and cannot maintain a license. You are lucky to be in an area that does have some public transport!

My daughter just turned 16 and she might not get her license. We are getting a new neuro to see what they think. (Current one was really vague on driving laws and thought it was fine to drive even with her having absence seizures...need I say more?)............tough call, She always used to say she would be the cool big sis and drive her bro places since his epilepsy WILL most likely prevent driving. It has been a tough year for her to handle all this.
Posted 3/13/2005 5:35 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Caroleena-

Yes, I know you must be frustrated about the driving, especially when others are driving.  I haven't driven in almost 3 yrs and I depend a lot on my family and friends for transportation.  The one good thing that happened is because I walk a lot now to go places, it gives me a chance to just reflect and think, something I never really had time to do before. 

As far as people I meet, I was sure they wondered why I never drove my kids,  never volunteered to carpool.  But then it finally occurred to me that people are so wrapped up in their own lives and their own problems, they probably don't give me a second thought.  So, I don't worry about it.  If anyone asks me about me driving, I say, " I don't drive."  My family and close friends know my situation and that's what matters to me the most.

The times I do feel frustrated (or sad or mad), I do something to relieve the pressure.  I think this a great place to come and vent a little, laugh a little, give a little to others.  Exercise helps me, and of course... chocolate doesn't hurt :-)  !        Glenda

Posted 3/28/2005 5:05 PM (GMT 0)

Hi... thanks for all your support... I am sorry though, for you all probably thought that I decided not to join this community confused It is great to listen to others who have had to deal with similar situations and hence, who do know what this feels like and even better, to read all your advice.

I am 23 years old. As of right now, I often walk to work because I consider that some days are beautiful and moreover, I get to exercise and little by little, I save some money from riding the bus (It is two dollars every day). Moreover, it takes me more or less the same time to get there since I have to wait for one second bus; that is 30-40 minutes.

However, there are some people at work who have seen me walking to get there and next, at times, they laugh at me for I sometimes, ask them to give me a ride. These are people who do not appreciate what they have.

                              People do not appreciate what they have until they lose it.

Even though I do not really mind walking while listening to music on such days where the sky is free from clouds and the temperature is 70 degrees I still do not want people to see me for they laugh so badly in the sense that I do not have what they have and so, I am a loser. I do not have the courage to tell such people that I am not able to drive or that "I do not drive because of a medical condition". They all gossip behind my back. There are times when I feel frustrated and depressed for having partial complex seizures and sometimes I ask myself and God:

                                         why, why, why? Why me? confused

Take care,

Caroleena

Posted 3/28/2005 5:38 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Caroleena,

Yes, you are frustrated.  You feel like you are mad and alone.   Other people that drive who have sympathy for you like your family and friends do feel your pain.  But they don't know what you are going thru in your mind. 

It's NOT that you are a loser.  And it's NOT that you do not have the courage to tell people about your medical condition. It's not about courage.  

YOU ARE NOT A LOSER.  YOU ARE A PERSON THAT IS PUT INTO A DIFFICULT POSITION.

Other people that are not in your position do not know what to say when they know about your situation - because it it THEY that feel embarassed.  When people do not know, they show their nervousness by their behavior.  They are not laughing at YOU.  They may talk, but not as you suspect. 

Don't hide yourself in a closet, Caroleena.  Educate those around you.  Become friends with those that you feel most alienated with and you will see how peple will open up their eyes.  YOU aren't the one with anything to fear.  Because YOU are the one that can do something about it.  You can help yourself.  Mentally make yourself stronger.  Physically get in shape.  Develop new hobbies. Enjoy little things in life you didn't before.  Maybe help someone that is less fortunate than you. 

It's the other ones that don't know what to do!!!

I know you cared enough to come back and say what you had to say... I KNOW you can DO what you have to DO.  (((((CAROLEENA)))))

Glenda :-)

Posted 3/28/2005 7:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Caroleena, if your co-workers are laughing at you, that is truly sad. IMO, people tend to ridicule odd behavior. IMO, their laughing would likely stop if you allowed them an understanding. In this day and age, someone who is able to drive and just chooses not to is considered an oddity IMO.

You are not a loser. Only quitters are losers IMO. Courage girl!
Posted 3/28/2005 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
Caroleena, I just read your first post more carefully - I had responded above mainly to your last post. We live in Friendswood. The world is a small place...
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