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HELP! Daughter keeps drinking, causing Grand Mal seizures

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Posted 4/19/2012 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so worried.  She is 22, a lifelong A student, and has had 4 Grand Mal seizures - 1 at 14, 1 a year ago, and 2 within the last 3 weeks.  She has been on Lamictal since the first one, and it works just fine - unless she's gotten drunk the night before. 

Today I was talking with her on the phone, she was in a car (not driving, thank God) and all of a sudden she started making babbling noises.  I thought they were going over a bumpy road till her friend got on and said that she was having a seizure.  She was with 2 great friends, luckily again, who took care of her.  It lasted about 3 minutes.  Sure enough, she'd gotten wasted last night. 

Last time this happened, she said she would stop having more than a couple of drinks (as the doctor advises) and that she had learned her lesson. 

Today she says no, she never said that, and never quit drinking to excess - but NOW she will.  I don't want to press her too hard today, as she's still recovering, but - - I am terrified of what could happen if she doesn't stick to this!!  I know how hard it is to not do what all your friends are doing, esp. when you're young, but come on!

Her car is broken beyond repair, and that's also lucky.  Her dad and I are in agreement that we are not going to buy her a new one for the time being, as we were going to.  So no job, probably (bad bus system in her town) and no vacation, no spending money.  It all sucks, sure, but there ARE worse things. 

Sorry for the rant.  Anyone have any insight?

Debbie 

Posted 4/21/2012 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
Maybe have a little talk with one of her good friends to help keep an eye out for her? And also to encourage her not to drink, since it exasperates the seizures. Hope she will get through this quickly and on to better things!
Posted 4/21/2012 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
I understand, Debbie, that there is medication now that can be given to help people who drink too much to overcome the habit. I'd ask her to see her doctor and ask for something to help her give up the alcohol.

Since she's taking a psychotropic drug, she shouldn't be drinking at all. They can often have undesirable reactions in her system.

I hope you will be able to rest once you've given her the advice to try to see a doctor and to get the drinking stopped. You and your husband are going through considerable stress in this, I feel sure.

Take care of yourselves.

It's Genetic
Posted 4/22/2012 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks to all of you for the good advice. I think a support group would be a GREAT idea. As for different medication, that is also a possibility. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to get her to "let" me into her dr's appt. with her. Of course, I could insist, but don't know that it's worth creating those resentful feelings. Perhaps it is. A lot to think about....

Debbie
Posted 4/28/2012 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Debbie--

I'm sorry you are having this problem. I am going through a similar thing.  My son has epilepsy and also gets syncope and has had grand mal seizures in the past. He is on dilantin and was doing good but is a compulsive substance abuser.  I have done everything from committing him multiple times to having him thrown in jail.  I am really concerned because now he is in a program and not abusing, but fear his brain is permanently damaged.  He goes to do something then just drifts off, almost like fainting.  They have started him on lamictal but it seems to be making things worse, though he really likes being on it and won't stop it no matter what.  he is so so skinny and he doesn't like to eat.  At one point he used fake marijuana and he was having syncope continuously.

My son can't really tell anymore what he's like, he is not really himself.  He stumbles and has balance problems all the time. His drug tests have been clean and he only goes to work and home.  His boss called and is so worried about him and he doesn't think he's in any way abnormal and really fights if you suggest that something is wrong.  It is common for me to go outside and find him asleep with the car door open. He smokes and goes out to his car to do so.  He usually doesnt end up even able to light  a cigarette.

My point is, that using drugs and alcohol on these meds and having epilepsy can cause permanent damage.  My son doesn't understand how horribly messed up he is on even a small amount of any intoxicant, and he gets caught all the time.  Now, i can't tell what is wrong with him and suspect drugs or alcohol even when it hasn't been the problem. I am so worried he's gonna die. I am at the point of thinking of taking his rights as an adult away, and being his guardian.  He was the smartest, most wonderful son and he just fell apart when he found out he had epilepsy.

I can't get him to go toa support group or even to read much about his disorder. He is very rigid in his thinking.  It seems to be part of his condition.  So it is very very difficult for him to change, what feels right to him is just wrong.  When he first got hit with epilepsy, he tried to self medicate. We didnt know what was happening. He kept telling me he didn't feel right and they put him on all kinds of meds that made seizures worse I guess. He doesn't remember and I didn't see many of them, just a few.

I worry so much about my son. He feels he will never have a girlfriend, never be okay, and he is making it true. I'm sorry to go on, but this issue really has got me. I am so confused, and my son feels like I accuse him of things and I cant tell if he is coherent enough for me to get through. He says all the right things, but if he is not on something, he is really in bad shape.

Posted 4/29/2012 5:26 AM (GMT 0)
Cured,

Your post just wrenched my heart. There's nothing worse than watching our children doing things that hurt them. And feeling so helpless to do anything about it, ourselves....how long has your son had epilepsy? Do you now have good communication with any of the doctors he's seen?

I know how furious my son would be at me for taking away his rights as an adult for any reason - he is also extremely smart, like yours, and has "known best" since birth, I swear (I don't mean to imply that you should let his reaction sway you, but just that I understand how miserable and hard that would be on you.) Maybe it would be the best thing, in the long run. Do you have support from anyone else in dealing with him?

I wish my daughter, too, would take it all more seriously. She SAYS she's cutting down her drinking again, and I believe her - for now, anyway. Of course, I wish she'd cut it completely OUT. Her doctor sent her for a blood test after her appointment last week, to test several things. And she's going to have another test soon, something to do with headphones with static noise to test her balance (she's been getting dizzy frequently, which is new.)

You are in my thoughts...I really hope the best for you and your son.

Debbie
Posted 4/30/2012 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
It's odd that they consider opiods and other drugs to be so bad but alcohol is ok....in society. And it isn't. I've never heard of anyone smoking pot and getting into a car, speeding and having an accident. My friend lives in Holland and reports that those things aren't a problem. Yet my alcoholic brother hit a child on a tricycle...drunk as a skunk. He got away with it! He said he told the cop he was just upset. The kid came from between cars. So the law as actually sympathetic to my brother!!!!! Thank God the child was ok...but my brother should have gone to prison! Drinking IS dangerous. And with psych drugs, even more so. Is it just rebellion? Or depression? The reason for her drinking. Instead of talking about seizures, maybe you could talk about how she feels when she drinks. Find the reason. And attack it from that angle. I remember being young and drinking because I was shy and it helped me open up. I would have been better off joining a speaking club like toast masters for my self confidence. So maybe if you can find the reason...how she feels before and after...help her examine the why of it...as a friend...not judgemental but low key, easy speaking. Just a suggestion. That's hard to do when you feel so much and are involved. But maybe a counselor could get to it. And if she won't go, maybe a trusted friend/adult.
Yes it is hard to see them do things that hurt them. I pray you are able to get through to her soon.
Posted 4/30/2012 4:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the reply Debbie. I called and left a message with his neurologist. My son swears its the medicine he is on, and he's drug tested clean. Epilepsy is horrible. He stumbles and staggers at times. Some times he feels like he will pass out. Apparently he called the neurologist twice, he wouldn't have done that if he was on something. He was better today, I stuffed him as much as I could with food, even junk food, anything. Looking at a not too old picture, he has lost a ton of weight. They are transitioning him off dilantin on to lamictal. I'm very allergic to lamictal, got the rash. I'm hoping he will tolerate it, but not so happy with the way he is right now. He said he really wan'ts to try to get off dilantin onto something else. For a few years, dilantin has been the wonder drug for him. Hopefully lamictal will work. I also found out he hasn't been sleeping well since he started the lamictal. That may be part of it. I got him gatorade we used to have to give him that on trileptal which was causing him to have syncope so we got him off it. He also had to eat lots of salt to keep his bp up.

My son said he wishes it was just something like from substance abuse because he could just stop it, but this is from the medicine or epilepsy, which he has no control over right now.

If he gets much worse, I will take him to urgent care or er. I hate taking him there because they don't know what to do.

Its good to know stubbornness is part of this, because he, is so stubborn about making this medicine change no matter what. He doesn't know what its like for the rest of us watching him struggle because he's unaware of his seizures or altered states.

We should love our good kids, esp. when they are good, because things could be so bad, but sometimes its hard when they seem bent on giving us a ton of gray hairs. Your daughter sounds sweet and has friends this is good. I have found repetition is about the only thing that has a chance, I just have to remind my son constantly the results of bad behavior, hes forgetful and impulsive, so this seems to helpe keep the idea in the forefront of his mind.
Posted 5/2/2012 5:25 AM (GMT 0)
Lynneann, I couldn't agree with you more about alcohol. There's a whole different set of standards where it's concerned - like the phrase, "alcohol AND drugs," as if alcohol isn't a drug!! When you think of all the lives that have been ruined because of it....good ideas, too, about how to approach the subject of "why" she's drinking in the first place. Thanks.

Marj, I know what you mean about our kids not being aware of what they're like during a seizure. It's sad to have to tell them, isn't it? The first time, my daughter was 14, in middle school, and had a Grand Mal seizure on the playground. I had come home for lunch and the principal called to tell me. I drove her to the ER and told her on the way what they'd told me....she couldn't comprehend it completely until the next day. Actually, that first one never did bother her much, which surprised us, since kids are so self-conscious about what their peers think at that age. Now she cringes when we tell her, something that's always hard to see as a parent.

I really hope that Lamictal ends up being a good drug for your son. (By the way, just something I remembered - my daughter's new neurologist told us that he wanted her on the brand name, which is a lot more expensive, unfortunately - because in this case, the amount of the actual drug can vary so much between one generic and the next, you end up never having a consistent amount in the bloodstream. He's the first one of the 3 we've had that said this - but he seems like a great doctor, so we're biting the bullet.) So you got the rash - that must have been horrible! I was so worried when she was first on it.

Hopefully, he'll keep eating like you want him to. Do you mind my asking how old he is?

I hope you keep writing when you need to, and I will too. This is such a scary condition.

Hugs, Debbie
Posted 8/16/2013 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Please, NO on combining the alcohol with anticonvulsants. Your brain is already fighting a condition and then you double dip it? You must make a choice, and the biggie is the realization that in many states you will lose your driver's license after a seizure. Check the state in which you live, for example, you may be unable to drive for 6 - 12 months after a grand mal seizure. It depends of course on the examining physician, if you are hurt and in the er, if compliance is a question, and you are not on your meds, they can do this to encourage your compliance.
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