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re: memory issues & relationships

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Posted 1/22/2007 2:31 AM (GMT 0)
Especially before I take my meds in the morning (which is the first thing I do when I wake up), but also at other times, I can't remember precisely what I said or how I worded it even five minutes prior. This is affecting my quality of life and my relationship, which is on a fast train done, so to speak.

Has anyone else run into this problem? If so, how do you deal with it. I tend to prefer written correspondence (texting by phone or email), so at least I have some record of what I said, and I try to write everything else down, like at work and stuff. My supervisor knows that if I don't write it down, it's not getting into my brain, and has been patient with my note-taking re: everything.

But, um, this relationship stuff -- yeah, this relationship is/was the wrong one for many other reasons that me and my petit mals (I simply shouldn't be with dry drunks).

But thinking about the future ... ever feel like you'll never meet anyone who will understand or be able to deal with you being sick, and who'll stick with you if it gets worse? I'm having one of those days. I'm sure once the aftermath of this relationship is settled and things quiet down, things'll be seeming much more positive.

This is the first time I've ever felt like having epilepsy is really something that could affect my ability to have a successful relationship with someone. I'm sure being with someone who understands that my memory doesn't exist until my meds kick in would be a good idea.

:boom: I hardly ever think of myself as being sick or an epileptic or whatever. Seeing myself get as angry as I have, lately, reminds me of before my mom was diagnosed w/TLE (which I also have). I don't ever want to get sick like my mom was. That's one of my biggest fears.

Stuff like that also makes me totally not want to have kids ('cause when I asked my mom how dare she bring me into the world to have to deal w/this, she said she didn't know she was sick, but I do know, so how can I conscionably put a kid through what I've been through? Cost of meds alone is a great reason not to deal that type of hand to a kid. And the idea of killing a fetus if it's tested and I and whoever learn that it would have TLE is a lot of blood to have on my hands (I also feel it would be the right thing to do, considering all I've been through, but I'd rather not have to make that decision if I could foster, adopt, or hire a surrogate mother).

But that's not happening any time soon, so I'll deal with that then. In the meantime, dealing with the next few weeks would be nice.

I hope everyone else's weekend went better than mine and that everyone's feeling as well as possible.

sb

Post Edited (sarahbtsd) : 1/21/2007 7:39:24 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/28/2007 6:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, sorry things aren't that great for you right now. I'm not a doctor, but aren't those considered to be partial siezures? If so, yes I've experienced the same thing. It can be frustrating to everyone, and I've been called a dumb blonde more than once (No offence to the blondes out there please, I am a blonde). So yeah I forget stuff, and I try to laugh it off with a "Yeah, another Shawna moment". but inside I feel really embarrassed. As for relationships, yeah my husband freaks when I have grand mal seizures and don't know where I am, who he is etc. Unfortunately, he is bipolar so sometimes I come to with him raging at me (ha ha) But I guess that's my point, EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING!!!!If you are willing to love someone with all their flaws and idiosyncysies then you deserve the same respect back. Sure it's not always easy, there are always bumps, but at the end of the day your significant other should see you as a person, not as a disease. You deserve nothing less than that. Take care of yourself and try to take things a day at a time as hard as that is. Shawna
Posted 3/9/2007 3:26 AM (GMT 0)

I was just diagnosed this summer although I did have some seizures when I was 12-13 years old and another one in 1983 when my little brother died.

I have such a problem with memory.  Oh, by the way, my hair is blonde also.  I can get off the phone and  can not remember who I was just talking to. I have to really think about it.  It feels like there is this processor in my brain that slowly figures it out.  I also have trouble finding words.  I still haven't been able to get to that 90 days to be able to drive.  I had to take early retirement last summer.  Every time I have a seizure, my daughters and I don't feel it safe for me to keep my three beautiful grandchildren for a while.

I think you are very brave to even try to be in a relationship and to try to work.  I applaud you!

Carla

Posted 3/9/2007 5:40 AM (GMT 0)

Hi sarahbtsd

 

My short term memory is almost totally gone and my recall isn't much better.

It's caused problems with my job, marriage and social life but that's a whole other story. Besides this I have slurred speech and very poor gait and coordination(as well as several other side effects from the meds), people think I'm drunk. I've even been pulled over by the police as DUI until they saw my medic alert bracelet.

Lots more to say but I don't want to bore you all.

 

I've had epilepsy since 1979, controlled by meds.

I get a form of petit mal seizures that my Dr. calls "speech arrest". It only lasts a few seconds, I am aware of what is going on around me but I can't respond.

 

When I try to talk, my speech is slurred (more than usual).

Most people have no problem speaking but I have to concentrate to form every word. (all the time but twice as hard during a speech arrest).

Everybody thinks I'm stoned all the time.

 

Boy, I didn't realize that we take our speech for granted so much.

 

Randy

Posted 3/9/2007 12:59 PM (GMT 0)
I too have speech problems at times and my memory is basically shot. I talk with my husband and forget what i said 10 minutes later. My 11 yr old son finishes my sentences for me when i start to not be able to think right. it has put a very big strain on my marriage at times because we will argue and then i cant remember what i said and when i say i didnt say that, i have no recourse as to what i really said. LOL i just call them dumb blonde moments because i would cry my eyes out if i didnt laugh about it. ( i cry my eyes out when noone is around instead) feel like im losing my mind and i just dont know where it went. i really believed that the speech problems was just me and my brain not working right. now i know, it happens to others. thanks for sharing all and i applaud all who are working so hard to do the best they can and to those who help us "newbies" at this.
dottie
Posted 3/9/2007 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Carla that phone thing (not remembering who you talked to) JUST happened to me today

My friend apparently called at 8:00 this morning. I hadn't taken my pills yet. At 9:30 ( I took my pills at 8:15 clueless as to why I was sitting on the edge of the bed) I called her on her cell to see what she was up to. She was kind of annoyed and said "Well, I've been waiting for you for about 20 minutes now, at the coffee shop." I kind of said "HUH??". Apparently we had a 15 minute conversation. I completely forgot. The funny thing is, I always remember ANYTHING to do with my children. It's like my brain can only hold onto one important thought at a time before I take my pills.OH WELL!! I guess if they want to hang out with me, they have to learn to deal lol.

Posted 3/9/2007 10:41 PM (GMT 0)

This forum is helping me a lot.  At least I beginning to realize that I am not crazy.  I have really hesitated to tell my daughters some of the things that have been happening to me because I am afraid that will think I am going crazy.  I am glad I am no longer trying to work.  I do have a lot of friends willing to give me rides.

Thanks for sharing with me!

Carla

Posted 3/19/2007 5:49 AM (GMT 0)
I have a really bad memory, sometimes I forget words that I want to say so I just think of something else to describe the word. Luckily the person I'm speaking to usualy figures out what I'm usualy talking about lol. I also find it easier to write down everything & if I have to go out anywhere or do anything I put it on a calendar. I have to take medication both morning and night so I find it easier to keep my medication in a weekly pill box. Sometimes I forget to take my tablets and wont realise until later that night or the next morning when I go to take my meds and see the tablets sitting in the pillbox or on the coffee table where I have my dinner. Sometimes people can't understand why i have a bad memory, the ones who know about my epilepsy I tell them its because of my medication where as others I jokingly say it must be me getting old lol.
Posted 3/21/2007 8:47 AM (GMT 0)

                                                                                                                                                                     

       Hi Sarahbtsd,

                        I to have TLE and have had it for 34 years.Before my temporal lobe surgery I had 3 children.Before I started a family my wife and I asked my Neuro.at the time what the odds where of one our kids being born with epilepsy.She told us it would be a "one and a million"chance,and today I have 3 healthy beautiful children that are my world.DON'T let your epilepsy control you,or who you can be.Try changing your meds.and see if that helps with the memory issue.I may have epilepsy BUT I don't let it run my life.I have all the memory issues as well but I have learn to bite the bullet and live with what the good lord gave me.I wish you well and good luck.

                                                                  Michael

Posted 3/21/2007 8:59 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Sarahbtsd,

That's true what Micheal said. My first born daughter does have epilepsy, but it is very mild and she has never had a grand mal siezure. In fact the only reason why I found out is because she happened to be on the computer one day for a very long time and felt "funny". The meds control her wonderfully.She is incredibly bright, on the honour roll, well liked etc. Her very mild form of epilepsy has never really affected her. So even if you do have a child with epilepsy, apparently statistics show that it would probobly be a milder form than what you have.If you were to ask her today whether it was unfair of me to have her, she would look at you like you were crazy. She is incredibly happy, and rarely thinks about her condition. She just takes her pills and forgets about it. Take care!   Shawna

Posted 10/9/2007 4:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Everyone,

You know, I never related "memory lose" to my siezure activity. Reading everthing that all of you are saying makes me wonder. I would forget events, dates, words. That is a tough one. I'd be in mid sentence and I'd grapple for a word, that I know I knew but couldn't think of at the time. Does that make sense? I questioned my own intelligence......who knows, that may STILL be a good question, or if age, all of 61, was a contributing factor.

Could there be a correlation between memory problems and seizure disorders? Hmmmmmm. Or between memory lose and the medications we take for our seizure disorders? Doctor ??

Jim in CT.
Posted 10/10/2007 2:52 AM (GMT 0)

Seven months ago when I made the above posts, I wondered if it was all about my seizures, now I wonder if it has to do with my medications, the fogs, that is.  I'm not really sure.  I can go for days and function just fine and then I'll have those times again where I just feel clueless.  I'm home a lot by myself, so it could happen more often and I just don't know about it.  Saks and Neiman, my cats, they seem to just let it slide.  As long as the grandkids don't start noticing it, I'm cool.

A few weekends ago a friend of mine, Cindy and her fiancée stopped by to visit and I was trying to tell her that I was going out to dinner with an old friend from out of town and her mother, that the friend was in town because her step-father had passed away.  I was unable to get the words friend or dinner to come out at all.  Cindy just gave me a hug and told me she knew what I was trying to say.  When my friend Bev and her mother came to pick me up later that evening, I told them I was having a little trouble with my medication and if I said things that didn't make sense to just laugh with me.  We all laughed and as it turned out, I did o.k. during dinner.  I'm glad to have friends to laugh with me through this.

Take care all!

Carla

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