Loss of family member due to fibro

His wife said to me several visits ago if I wanted I could stay their for a few days and she would tell how much was for real and how much for attention.  It was like a knife being plunged.  They had pretenended all this time and harboured those thoughts, I knew she would of got my father to think the same.  Despite this agreed to see them yesterday( have to say last 3 visits she has told me how fat i was getting ) Anyways she says helo, then stragiht away gee your getting so fat.  I lost it.  Emailed my father later said it was impossible to see them when they think its put on , and impossible as well now the weight thing is an issue.

So thats it.  Due to lack of understanding fibro comes between friends and relatives who should of tried to understand.

As for the weight issues which from meds she has made me so self conscious I no longer leave the house.  She really is the scenario of evil stepmother  How can your own flesh and blood who has seen the pain at its worse have any doubt.

Arent your family suppose to support you..  she stabbed me in the back and turned my father around to think like her. Dont even know why because we hardly see them anyway.

Does fibro have to be an issue of conversation when you see them?  Or does the wicked stepmother make it so?  I wouldn't let her words control my self image.  It sounds like she is very jealous of you.  Otherwise she wouldn't try to make you feel bad.  Nobody other than a jealous and insecure person would do that to their daughter. 

Is there anyway that you can see your father without her around?  If so try to visit him, but try not to let fibromyalgia come into the conversation. 

I wish you the best with this situation.  Just try not to let her get to you.  And most of all, don't blame yourself for any of this.

Hugs, Karen

The question is how can people so close to us be like that and it seems it is common.  anyways thanks,  it was hard.... all at once.    sue2z

Suez, you know you can pick your friends but not your family. I've not had anyone be that cruel over fibro but I know there are non believers in my family. It's the RNs in the family that are the ones that do not believe fibro is real. I have had some pretty evil thoughts about those people and fibro, they are not blood relatives by the way.

I know it hurts that you can't have the relationship with your father you want because of this person and for that I am sorry for you. But one of the things I have learned in life is everyone marches to the beat of a different drum and you can't change people. You can only change how you react to those that are so far away from your way of thinking. My mother and I were like oil and water most of my life and she said some pretty hurtful things to me over the years. But I was the best daughter I could be to her til she died. My oldest sister is very much like our mother but I will be the best sister I can be to her til one of us is gone. I'm not going to stoop to their levels, I will be who I am and every morning when I look in the mirror I will like the person looking back at me for that.

So you just be yourself and do what you know is right in your heart and let them live with themselves and their choices.

luv and hugs

Marlee

Jeannie what a terrible thing for your mum to say.  My stepmother used that word fat also.  It is so blunt and unforgiving word.When I said I had actually lost weight she looked at me and said, no, even your face looks fat.

My father is an extension of her unfortunately otherwise I would be more forgiving but I havent the strength.  Told my father I need time on my own.  To be honest I dont know if I want to see him again.   The stress would be to much and all he talks about is her.He sent me an email saying she is my best friend and always has my interests at heart.  He is a puppet on a string.    Im going to just rest for now and not think of either of them.  He said that if the doc was iffy on my sypmtoms maybe the doc was right, thats how much support he gives me.  No aa break is needed.    Thanks for all the replies and for letting me hear your feelings about it,  it really does help me think ive done the right thing..    suez2

Your post made me SO angry for you.   While I don't know you or your step mother, I can relate to what you are going through.  Deep down, I don't think my mother, who coincidentally is an RN, believes that I am truly sick or in pain.  I've always been the "crazy depressed" one in the family, so I must just be insane, right?   Yeah, I'm making all this up so I can try to live on $1000 a month in SoCal, use every bit of my savings so I have no future, live in agonizing pain, and have to deal with stupid ignorant people.  OK, yeah, I'm feeling just a little bitter, today-please forgive me.

And, OMG, the "you're so fat thing?"  I get that from my sister-who isn't very small herself these days.   Oh, my mom may not believe fibro is real, but I find it very strange that my sister has it, too.  So, OK, I may be crazy, but isn't it just a little bit of a coincidence that my sister has been dxd, too?

Now-THAT was a good babble!

Anyway, Sue, I'm really sorry that you are having to go through this.  If there is anything good that came from this, it's at least knowing the truth about how they feel.  I HATE fake people and liars.   Please know that we are all here for you-and personally, if you ever need to talk (and I swear, I'll let YOU talk LOL), just email me.  I may be crazy, but I'm a good listener.  No, really, I am.  Why are y'all laughing?  I AM!

My goodness, what a step-monster!  Do you want me to book a 27 hour flight there so I can kick her butt into the outback? Just because my muscles have atrophied, I can't use my hands, and I have the energy of a ground sloth doesn't mean I can't take her!  We'll teach her not to mess with our good friend, Sue.

Holly