HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Fibro and physical appearance.

Support Forums
>
Fibromyalgia
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 1/25/2009 6:18 AM (GMT 0)
I use to be an average weight had long wavy blond(bottled blond) hair, wore my makeup everyday and dressed up, always told myself at very leasst i would wear my makeup and that if I didnt it would mean the fibro had won.  Well guess what it wins.

I have gone up one dress size , stopped my makeup , and stopped using the hair straightener everyday and you know what ive decided

to cut my hair short so it is no bother  .... Guess what it feels Good. Not to wear makeup is slowly giving me confidence instead of hiding behind my made up face, and im no longer a slave to my hair straightener and well I cant say anything pos about the weight but still I feel better just being myself.  Cant say thanks to the fibro but I am glad its allowed me to be myself , even verbally.               sue2z smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin   do any of you relate to the changes smilewinkgrin

Posted 1/25/2009 6:51 AM (GMT 0)
It wasn't caused by fibro, but my Crohn's meds made a lot of my hair to fall out in late 2007.  Most of it grew back in 2008, but my formerly straight hair grew back curly!  And gray.  Highlights hide the gray, and with a good cut I've got a hair style that's both very low maintenance and more attractive than my old style.  It's been a big boost for me to feel at least a little bit pretty, even when I feel bad physically.
Posted 1/25/2009 7:19 AM (GMT 0)

Sue,

I don't even want to think of how much weight I have gained over the last 5 years, but I have gotten to where I hide from people I haven't seen in awhile because I don't want them to see how fat I am now!

I know I have to work on losing, but every time I have tried I either hurt too much or get bummed again and give up. I've tried to get my Rheumy to let me try the provigil, but he didn't seem like he wanted too. I just don't know what to do. 4 of my medications have weight gain as a side effect, so I know some of the weight is from that, but I also don't do as much as I used to . I'm always hurting too bad or just don't have any energy!

I went 2 weeks ago and got a perm because I just couldn't hold a hair dryer up to do my hair. With the perm I can just apply gel and let it dry on it's own. I really like my hair now, so that is one good thing. Otherwise, I am not too happy about myself and need to change that. Guess I'm the opposite of how you are feeling. Thanks for listening to my rant.

Hugs!!  Margie

Posted 1/25/2009 7:30 AM (GMT 0)

I have a question for you.  Are you single?  I'm just asking, because of my current situation.  You may have read my post about my marriage falling apart.  My husband has always made me feel guilty for my weight or cutting my hair too short.  Tell me I'll feel better once my husband and I no longer live together. 

I know what you're saying about doing your long hair everyday.  I had long hair that I flat ironed everyday.  Now I have a bob to my shoulder that I wash and straighten every other day.  I too am happier for it.  The divorce makes me feel like coloring my hair a wild color, leaving it naturally curly and knowing that I don't have to worry about what my husband thinks constantly.  I'll never stop with the make up, but I might just find authentic self inspite of my divorce and this darn fibro.  I too believe that I feel better when I put effort into myself, but not for anyone but myself.

Posted 1/25/2009 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
Good for you tluvstulps! I've been reading your posts and my heart breaks for you and your situation, but you sound far happier now!

I leave my hair long because if I cut it too short it looks greasy if I don't wash it for a few days and my natural wave does weird stuff while sleeping. I find my hair to be lower maintainance while long. The only thing is that I haven't touched a blow dryer or straightener for weeks. :-) I only do that if it's too cold to go outside with wet hair. I even went out in below freezing temperatures with damp hair because I could just not blow dry it, smart I know. As for make up, psh, I've never worn the stuff. I only wear it to hide the dark circles under my eyes when I don't wear glasses because I look like the walking dead otherwise.

I feel pretty good walking around campus with all the primped up girls because I have so little energy that I need to focus all my energy on school, not my face. :-)
Posted 1/25/2009 7:48 AM (GMT 0)
I have gained way too much weight. I think I eat more because I'm awake more, and I feel better with a bit of food in my stomach to take my meds. And, I most certainly have far less energy which translates into less activity.

Being home instead of going out to work, I use far less makeup and most days if I'm only home, I don't wear any.

My hair is quite short, and naturally curly/wavy, so with the right hair product, I can spiff it up inbetween washes.
Posted 1/25/2009 12:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Tulip I have to reply to you. That is so great that you are doing what feels good to you. We all put on 'faces" for the world, guess we are hiding. I think such pressure is on women today it is scary.

I am lucky in that I have always been tall, fair and thin. Probably in large part to my tennis life. BUT, now I notice a big change in my body as my muscles are losing so much turgor. Hey, it is what it is but for awhile it really bothered me. I noticed it within months and now even more. Always took my looks for granted and the whole aging thing is kinda bothering me. I can talk about it to you guys. Now I am really trying to keep things in perspective but it is tough at times.

Reading your posts has so helped. I too don't give a hoot about the make-up, a little blusher so I don't look like Casper is good for me.

Patsie
Posted 1/25/2009 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
I too have given up on the make up. It seems like my eyes are more sensitive now and I can't stand it. I know that I have aged along with having fibro, so I place the weight gain on that and the fact that I am not as active.

I keep my hair fairly short and permed so that I don't have to mess with it much. I can relate to all of your stories. Isn't fibro a bi***? But we are stuck with it and we have eachother to help ourselves feel better. Thank God for this forum.

Hugs to all, Karen
Posted 1/25/2009 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
I've always gotta wear my make-up (waiting for the day my acne goes away where I don't feel I need to anymore), straighten my hair (naturally frizzy and wavy), and wear cute, edgy outfits.. I can't say the fibro has changed my appearence whatsoever BUT I certainly do not do all of this every single day anymore.. I don't go out every day anymore. A lot of days I will relax at home in my PJ's with no make-up or anything. I have gained weight also since the Fibro..not a lot, but to where it definately shows, especially in my face. I am currently waiting for my hair to grow long (breast-length like it once was).. I can't wait! It's only to my shoulders right now, how long do you think it'll take to get there???? confused   smhair smhair

____________________________________________

21 years old

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder

"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore

Posted 1/25/2009 5:15 PM (GMT 0)
I wash my hair every night in the shower and then dampen it and blow dry it in the morning...every day!  I wear is very short...even cut around the ears....but it is easy to handle and a snap to blow dry since it isn't soaking wet.

 

I wouldn't dream of leaving the house withouut make-up...except when I'm walking the dog in the neighborhood.  I feel so much better when I make the effort to put on make-up.  I know I look better than a lot of the younger ladies in the stores in their sweats and no make-up.  It just makes me feel good.

 

But the bottom line is, do what make YOU feel good.  I honestly have never heard of a woman telling a man how to wear his hair, or telling him he's getting fat and lay off the beer and chips!  The only time we would talk about weight is if we were concerned about their health...not their appearance.  That is very shallow thinking so, ladies and gentlemen, do what makes YOU feel good about yourself.  If you feel good about yourself it does make you quite attractive to others.

 

Sherrine

Posted 1/25/2009 7:20 PM (GMT 0)
Wow... I am so glad for this topic!! I always complain that I just "don't look the same" as I did before the Fibro. I use to glow and look pretty...without makeup. Now I look dull and plain. Right now I am out of shape, about 20# over weight. The guy I date says I look good and says I'm not fat. He's been pursuing me for 4 years now, so I guess he must be right! LOL

I'd like to share a little something with ya'll. A few years after I not able to work any longer I had gained 40#!! Oh it was bad. I finally got mad enough
to do something about it. Of course I had a vacation to Las Vegas planned so that helped motivate me. I started the Zone Diet and doing Pilates every day. Oh it hurt alright and there were days when I didn't think I could go on, but I struggled through it. It got easier and I got to where I felt terrible on days I didn't do it. I was even able to use the treadmill and walk, no running, 3 miles on it in about an hour. Well I got in shape and felt good, and I looked the best I had ever looked!! Then I had "the flare up". It knocked me back down and I haven't been able to get back up off it. I quit my diet, quit the pilates and quit the treadmill. I'm flabby and feel very unattractive. I so badly want to get back to where I was, but can't find the "ooomph" that I need to get there. I actually sold the treadmill when my feet started hurting. I can't wait for the winter to end so I can start taking my dog for walks.

I don't wear makeup... never really did.... my skin is too sensitive for even the makeup for sensitive skin. I wouldn't dream of going out in public without doing my hair and dressing nice. I'm just at a stand still right now.

Anyone else in my boat?
Posted 1/25/2009 8:36 PM (GMT 0)
I try and look okay during the day... but I always have dark circles under my eyes... and I struggle with keeping weight on not off. I always have to wear warm clothes now.. washing my hair takes a lot of effort, and my hands in the morning are sometimes too shaky to even attempt make up.

I don't leave my house as much anymore, and when I do.. I have a this is how I am policy. Meaning, I'll go brush my hair.. make sure I don't look horrible, but won't waste too much energy on it. Sometimes I just can't afford it.

I hardly leave my house... I'm 20! Sometimes I just feel so trapped.
Posted 1/25/2009 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
Tina,

I have felt that way for a while. I am the same way, waiting for spring so that I can walk the dogs. This has been a long winter and January isn't even over yet. It have been cold too. And snowy. I can't wait until spring. Getting outside and enjoying the fresh air. Moving around. I long for that. I have a treadmill, but never use it anymore. Can't seem to walk and not go anywhere. I do turn on the music and dance now and then. That helps. Gets the endorphins going.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 1/25/2009 9:45 PM (GMT 0)

I don't 'dressed' up often, but I get dressed each morning as soon as I get up. I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face and do my hair. Nothing fancy, but I like it ready to go. I can't wear heels, refuse to wear a dress, prefer casual. When I went to work I always wore make-up, eye shadow, mascara, & light lipstick. I even continued that when I stopped working but had to go out for appt or to teach my CCD class. Since the summer, I haven't been able to keep my arms or hands up to do eye make-up. I'm happy to be able to apply Blistex on my chapped lips. tongue My skin has always been very sensitive and I have had to use special make-up, this is much better.

My sister told me jokingly 40 yrs ago, when she dies, I'm in charge of making sure her make-up looks just so in the casket. I'm glad she has a daughter and GD's to take over that job. I can't handle the job on me now, don't want to imagine the job I would do on her.

I dress in layers b/c I'm always cold. Right now I have 4 layers on and I'm in the house. My DD is in shorts and T-shirt, NO i'm not in some warm tropical island, It is cold here. My sons go out w/ a light jacket on when it's snowing. I just 'own' them, I don't explain them.

God bless.  Alice.

Posted 1/25/2009 11:11 PM (GMT 0)
so many replies......... I dont feel so bad about not being able to hold the hair straightener up and getting hair cut or the makeup for same reason, arms, though wear it when going out.  Or the weight gain which is quite significant, or the fact I hardly leave the house,    thanks everyone.

Posted 1/25/2009 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
Corrie, yeah, I tend to have dark circles under my eyes too.. do you think that has to do with the Fibro - the fatigue from it or something? Or is it more because I'm a vegetarian? Idk confused

And Alice, I dress in layers too!! lol

-Jenna :-)

_____________________________________________

21 years old

Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder

"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore

Posted 1/26/2009 12:00 AM (GMT 0)
i haven't wore makeup everyday since i was at the hotel.. and even towards the end i wasn't wearing it everyday ..or did my hair everyday it was too hard still is.. I wash my hair everyother day and usually let it air dry or through a head band or hat on so i don't have to blow dry or straighten it cuz i cant hold anything over my head..... Make up is for special occasions only cuz i cant hold the brushes without pain in my hand...

and the weight wow i went from a 6-8 to a size 16-18 over the last 8 years... i did do weight watchers a while ago .. and got down 22lbs to a size 12 but its all back after a really bad flare up.... i am going to have to start following the program again... even if i cant afford the meetings because i can't afford this weight...


i have dark circles too but i know mine is from not getting enough sleep ... i used to get told i looked young for my age and get id'd all the time now i just look hagered and tired
Posted 1/26/2009 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
I go out everyday in order to get to the pool. My hair gets wet at the pool so I wash it when I get out and keep it in 3 braids for convenience. I wear savvy hats that make me look good. I do not need makeup since I have dark skin but I will wear it when public speaking or facing photographers.

I wear nice outfits when I am outside of my home but hey are usually fancy matching sweats. This way I can dress and undress easily.

My hair is long and thick and I wear it out naturally on days that I do not have to swim. I let it dry naturally most of the time. Most people are surprised when I wear it loose because I look like a different person than the one who always wears a swim cap.

I never liked makeup so I am glad that I have dark skin.

I am still over 50 lbs. overweight, way over but due to swimming my body looks tighter and more firm. I am down several clothing sizes and that makes me very happy.

Donnaeil
Posted 1/26/2009 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
my beauty habits have definitely changed with this dd! i used to be one of those makeup every day kind of gals, with hair always blow dryed and brushed nicely. my clothes have never been fancy, but i did always dress fairly well (khakis and sweaters and long skirts and pretty peasant tops. sometimes jeans, but only ones in good condition. cute shoes. ALWAYS had to have cute shoes!) now..um. not so much. lol

i DO make sure that i bathe and dress every single day (once in a great while i will spend the day in my pj's, but that's rare), but now my "uniform" has become stretchy athletic pants and long sleeved t-shirts and fleeces overtop (i do layers, too!) and comfy WARM socks. i make sure everything i wear is clean and not ripped and at least semi matches, but other than that, i don't worry about clothes anymore. on a day when i feel like dressing "up" a little more, i will put on stretchy waist comfy pants and a sweater. yeah, that's dressing up for me these days...sigh.

also-of all the things i have had to give up with this dd, i miss cute shoes the most! i can't wear anything with a heel anymore at all. i used to LOVe chunky heeled mary janes and now...it's nothing but boots or my new balance sneakers for outside, comfy slippers inside. sigh, again!

as for makeup/hair. i can't blow dry my hair anymore..it hurts my shoulders and arms too much! so now i just wash/towel dry/and put in leave in conditioner. i also don't wear makeup very much. i will wear it when i go out for the day shopping or to church or something, but that's about it. once in awhile i will put some on just to be around the house because i feel the need for a little boost, but it doesn't happen very much.

also, i have never been a skinny person, but pre-fibro i was always just comfortably curvy. i have gained a lot of weight over the past few years-i have about 60 lbs total to lose to get back to where i was pre-dd. i am finding it hard to lose weight, though, in part because of the fibro and in part because i'm getting older.
Posted 1/26/2009 5:15 PM (GMT 0)
I figure I have dark circles because of my lack of quality of sleep... and fatigue.

Thirteen.. my acne has gotten worst recently - I'm thinking increased stress?

Do you find your acne gets worst if you flare?
Posted 1/27/2009 2:32 AM (GMT 0)
I am an elementary art teacher and I haven't worn anything other than a sneaker to work for the past year. I pretty much wear the same outfit to work every day and wear my naturally curly (or frizzy lately) hair in a pony tail. I made the conscious decision to let it grow after cutting it this summer just so I could put it up. It was either that or I would probably have cut it off short like a pixie one day after getting frustrated with he fact that holding the hair dryer and flat iron are an upper body workout. When I first started this job, my students and other teachers would compliment me on my outfits and awesome shoes (often heels!!!). Now, I just try not to get noticed since I'm the one wearing khakis, privos, a solid polo, and a zip up hoodie. I do, however try to dress nice on occasion if I'm going out or to church. The problem with this is that I've gotten so used to my comfy clothes that nothing feels right. I can't stand for anything to touch me! The average dress nice evening begins with me trying on everything in my closet and sweating like a pig until I just give up and stay home.

On a more positive note, tomorrow is my 31st birthday and I need to feel good about it so I think I'm going to attempt a pair of leggings and a knit dress with flat boots (I'll probably have to change into slippers before the day is over).
Posted 1/27/2009 3:36 AM (GMT 0)

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in Jan. of 2008.  I have had the symptoms since Jan. of 2007 right after I got over a MRSA infection that I "never really quite got over"...   I'm glad I found this "forum"... where I can talk to people who understand what I'm going through..   I dont have a lot of support with this.. in my family..

Reading all your comments here...   sounds soooo familiar..    The change In my appearance...  drastic change in what I'm capable of doing  (which is not much anymore)... etc...  going through "flare up" I guess, right now, and feeling like I have the "flu" all day...  and night.. when I cant sleep... but I'm trying to keep the faith.. blush  

Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatique , and possible Vascular Disease - Lyrica/Prozac 

Breezie 

Posted 1/27/2009 6:31 AM (GMT 0)
Wow. I just have to say I feel so at home in this thread. I'm not sure we've had a thread like this on the CP forum, but I'm guessing a lot of people would respond in similar ways.

Shoes seem to stand out for many of us. And I never wore fancy ones, but was able to wear a chunky heel with a nice pair of trousers & blazer. After my fall...well, have had nothing but birkenstocks in summer, and sneaker or walking loafers with inserts. Have those in every color, including red! Had to do something! But so many of my shoes and other clothes now sit in the closet unworn. Don't work much and now that I've been slowly adding weight fewer and fewer things fit. It's disheartening when your sweatpants start to feel snug!

I wear pretty much the same couple of things that still fit, but I don't go out much. Took me forever to find something to wear for Christmas Day that had a little color to it. Oh, well, you all understand!

PaLady
Posted 1/27/2009 6:52 PM (GMT 0)

I woke up today.. and took a good look at my self and had to laugh..  (ya have to have a good sense of humor sometimes, with "Fibroymalgia")..  Anyway..  I'm going to try and make this short.. and hopefully my spelling is ok too..  :)    about "appearance"...  Well..  I looked in the mirror and what did I see..   I saw a 48yr old woman with a face that looked like a "railroad" track...  a kneck that looked like a "turkey kneck"..

I didnt know if I should blow like a choo choo or gable like a turkey!!  :)   I have my son's black sweats on...

my niece's  black and white "harley davison" t-shirt on.. and my black hooded sweater that I wore at the office.. (when I use to be able to work)..   so as an over-all...   I look like a 48yr old "preppie, gothic, biker-chic !!!   My hair.. well thats another story in itself!!  :)  Notice now, that I am still smiling :):):)

You have too... you cant let Fibromyalgia take everything away from you... back to my hair..  well it use to be long to my shoulders.. light brown with blond highlights..  but....   because I havent had any income for several months now..  (applied for disability) I cant afford to get my hair cut..  so guess what..  I one day take the scissors.. and decide that "I" am going to cut my own hair..   yeah right..  because of the numbness I get in my fingers.. and they lock up.. and have no feeling in finger tips at times.. I coulnd work the scissors right...  fingers kept getting caught up..  by the time it was all said and done.. I looked like I was trying to pull a "Brittney Spears".. and no offense to her.. we all have our problems..  So my ex-spouse happen to be around.. (I live with my son right now)  and I think he felt sorry for me (being I'm not the 20yr old hot babe that he's looking for)  and he took me to get my hair fixed..  I go to styling salon.. the lady that is available next to do "my" hair..  did not give me much comfort because her hair didnt look any better then mine..

But.. I was surprised in the end.. (bless her heart).. it turned out cute..  :)  Bottom line is...

someone needs to come out with a "fashion line" for Fibromyalgians... comfortable cute bright cheery clothes..  and throw in some free haircuts.. with purchase of them.. :)  about "appearance"...  I'm glad Im not the only one that looks this way..  :)   Just gotta laugh... sometimes...

Posted 1/27/2009 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
And here I thought I was the only one who contemplated cutting her own hair! Sharon Stone did it after her divorce the style became a rage! LOL i'd have my hair short if it wasn't for the cost of hair cuts. So I let it grow out again so I could pull it back. Then it got so long it made my neck hurt even more. So I now do my once a year trip to a local guy who cuts it pretty cheap. Just take off a few iinches of the pony tail, evens it out, and that's it. I still have it in a baggie that one day I'll send off to locks of love. Figure it's a good way to do organ donation and still be alive! LOL

PaLady
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
12