In tears, am I unreasonable.

I struggle to get the meal on the table sometimes I have to start earlier in the day, plus I do the dishes and I am at my absolute lowest.  Now they all want to eat later and my husband came down on me like a ton of bricks.  He is nice when im ok but when ever the fibro interveres heavan help me.  I really struggle to get it all done by the time I do the dishes ive have had it, please tell me If I am unreasonable.   sue2z

Sue, you are not unreasonable!  If you are having a bad day, make a one-pot meal or a pot of soup for dinner and they can eat when they want too.  You also can do a skillet dinner and refrigerate it and they can take their portions out and microwave them.  They aren't helpless...especially your husband.  You can feed the kids and let him eat when he wants to...even at midnight!

 

Below is a post I actually wrote for Statgeek on another thread.  I put it here too so it didn't get "lost" in the other thread.  This is what I did regarding meals.  I still do, even though my children are all grown and my husband has passed on.  If your husband doesn't like this, tell him to hire a cook.  You need some support, not mental abuse.  That's my humble opinion.

 

Sherrine

 

 I know where you are coming from.  Here are a couple of suggestions.  I did this when my children were small and I still do this.  On my better days, and for you if it is a weekend, I prepare twice as much food as I need.  It doesn't take too much more effort.  Then I have plastic plates with snap on lids that I dish the extra portions in and then I label and freeze them.  It's so great to have a home-cooked meal without cooking!  If I know the next day will be extremely busy, I head to the freezer and take out meals and put them in the fridge so they aren't rock solid the next night.  It's easier to microwave them.  I freeze dinners, one pot meals, and soups for those lousy fibro days!

 

I have Rubbermaid Takealongs that I use.  The one I use is an oval divided plate with three sections but I couldn't find  it on line.  But here is a rectangular divided dish with two sections that would work great, too.  I also buy the Glad covered bowls for soups.  Here is a link to the Rubbermaid divided dish.  If you google Rubbermaid Takealongs,  you will get a large selection.  They can be in the freezer and the microwave.  When I microwave the food, I remove the lid and cover with Saran Wrap.

 

http://www.epinions.com/content_188589575812

Another thing I would do is "Fend for Yourself" nights!  LOL  If I knew I had sandwich fixings or leftover food in the fridge or canned soups or boxed macaroni and cheese, everyone would just help themselves to what looked good to them and then take care of their mess.  My kids were all at least 10 years old when I started this.  Actually, they really liked it because they could eat whenever they wanted!  LOL

 

Hope this gives you a few ideas.  If you aren't feeling well, don't let your family make you feel guilty.  Besides, you are actually teaching them some sense of responsibility!

I don't think that you are being unreasonable. Follow Sherrine's tips to make life easier for you. Getting breakfast, doing laundry and all the other things you do is a lot. Keep up the good work, but don't over extend yourself. Take care of you too.

Best wishes for a lovely day.

Hugs, Karen

By 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon I'm done for the day, period. DH prefers his cooking to mine so he does dinner. When he has not felt well this winter we will make a one pot dinner in the afternoon before I get tired. Actually, much of our life revolves around when I get tired.

 

For those of you that have to cook Sherrine has some great suggestions. If your family doesn't like eating frozen meals let one of them take over being chef.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Unfortunately it is this "invisible" syndrome we all have to deal with. No one seems to really get it. Someone wrote a few days ago that they just cannot stand it when their significant says "Oh, what is wrong"? We should not have to constantly clarify what is going on but it does seem to be the general way it is. The other thing I notice is people do not want to ask you how you are b/c they do not REALLY want to hear the answer. These are tough situations we deal with everyday.

Having us to vent to is a big help. We all get it. Some days it is all we can to to even be civil much less fix the dinner....REALLY!!

Patsie

Thankyou so much youve all helped me feel so much better.  I can tell my husband now thats it not just me who has had it by that time and I will use the advice given.  Thanks so much guys.   sue2z

I haven't really cooked for my husband for six years.
He does it.
I miss it. I miss doing housework!
I can't.
Sue, you are doing a good job. I believe
your husband is unreasonable.
It would be good if he could talk to your doctor
about your condition.
Is that a possibility?
Pamela

Thank you for the message su2z.  You are not unreasonable.  I have wondered the same thing. Sometimes we need to bounce our feelings around in here to make sense of them.   I really like Sherrine's advice and have done this in the past.  These last few weekends, I have been clearing space everywhere in my house because my daughter and son in law moved back home.  So I have not had the energy to cook a bunch of meals on the weekend.  But someone posted that she puts frozen meat in the slow cooker . . . what a good idea!  I did not know you could do that!  I will not get home from work tonight until after 7 pm, so I will try sticking something in tonight for tomorrow.

A couple of days ago, I was feeling pretty awful and walking slowly through the stores and I wondered if I was just "making it up."  So I tried walking faster and "ouch!"  I am still kind of new to this and am sometimes bewildered by the fact that I have so much less stamina that before.  Self checks like these help me keep my feelings of self blame and denial at bay.  Soon I expect to accept things as they are without so much questioning.

Thanks again for posting, it helps to know others have the same questions.

Best,

Sue

Hi everyone.. I just wanted to give a few tips that I have done now for the last few years with my fibro. Every month I buy 15 lbs. of hamburger. After a few days of recovering(to tired and in pain) from shopping I brown up all the meat and split it up to 5lbs. then another 5 lbs. and 5 one lb packs. My DH will take our seal-a-meal and seal the 1 lb packs up and throw them in the freezer, while I have to lay down and take a nap. The next day.. I make 5 lbs of taco meat then split them up in 1lb packs.. and the last 5 lbs makes bbq's and they are split up like the rest. Hubby seals all the bags since I can't push down on the seal-a-meal. Might take a few days to get this all done because of my fibro.. but I have 3 meals a week done for 5 weeks :) The regular hamburger is made into hamburger helper mostly on the nights I can not get out of bed. When I can cook for the day.. I always!!! DOUBLE the recipe and freeze it for when I feel like crap. Leftover night is the greatest.. it cleans out my fridge. I just chuck everything that can be eaten out on the counter and say 'you pick' and I walk away. They can use the microwave!(I swear it was invented for fibro people) If all else fails.. it's can night.. you got it.. anything that is in a can. Once again microwave comes in handy:)
I hope this helps:)

I do not think you are being unreasonable at all!!! If anything your family is. Take your hubby with you to your doctors appointments...if he won't go.. get him a book on fibro.. I have done both with mine.. it took him a little bit to get on board. That's when I hit him in the head with the frying pan..JK.. he is now really great about it all.. I am lucky. I have twin daughters that are 9 and a 8 year old boy that have a cleaning night once a week.. they clean the kitchen, especially the floor.. since there is noway I can. We have sat down with our kids and explained to them that I have fibro and that some days are better then others and some are not. We now have game night in our bed with popcorn (cant sit in a regular chair without pain) and it has helped bring back some of the things that we used to do as a family.

Hang in there.. you will get better with managing your day. Even if you need to go to bed by 4pm.. just throw some bbq's at them.
Soft hugs, Stacy

I do not think you are being unreasonable. I went to work today then grocery shopping I am so tired now. did I mention that I was up sick most of the night with a stomach bug... My husband is usually great however the last couple of weeks he has mentioned my weight issue several times. I would try to do what Sherrine has suggested. I also keep good frozen pizza or lasgna ect... that I can pull out and make in a pinch. almost anything Italian freezes well. and can go from freezer to oven or Microwave.
LeeANN