I am past my breaking point....

I went to the rhuematolgist today and lets just say I am to my limit with rude,and belittling people!!!!!  Not only did he tell me that my med's don't work because I think they won't work... like I really have that much mind control!!!!  But them he tells me that because I don't think that my headaches are due to a brain tumor then I am just looking for attention... are you kidding me?!?!?!  He told me that I needed a scan to make sure that I don't have a tumor.  I explained to him that my dr already address my headache problems and I am comfortable with his diagnosis.  He then told me that if I can describe a headache as being "horrible" (mind you this is on my 12th day of a headache) then I should think that it could be a tumor... and if I didn't think that it was then I was just looking for attention when I described it as being "horrible"  He went on about it for a good 5-10 min's telling me things like how his son shattered his elbow and THAT would be horrible pain but a tension or migraine headache could not possibly be described that same way!!!!!   He then told me that everything that I am experiencing is due to depression and he thinks that once he rules everything else out I should go to therapy to deal with the underlying issue.  I don't have any underlying issue... I just hav a freakin TENSION HEADACHE!!!!!!  I am to my limit with dr's that think they can treat you like you are NOTHING!!!! I am sick of being talked down to because he THINKS he knows what goes on in my mind!!!!  I called MY dr and explained to him that I would NOT be doing ANY of the tests that the rheumy wanted me to do, nor will I EVER go back there!!! My dr was very understanding and helpful, but thanks to that Rhuemy I have another WONDERFUL headache!!!!

Rach, I am sorry for two things- 1] that you are having to deal with someone that has decided to not be of any help to you, and 2] many of us have had this same experience with docs- specifically Rhuems. I don't know why they can be so dismissive. I know that all rheums. are NOT this way, but many friends report this same kind of experience, including me! I rely 100% on my GP and if there is any need for an internist or specialist, then I build that bridge when I get there. It sounds like your instincts are telling you to do the same- play to your strengths- go for help to the ones you know you can count on to listen. Keep your chin up and and trust your instincts.

Thank you for the input... sorry if my rant was hard to understand. It was just hard to type all of what he said (I was trying to make it short). I have spent 8 1/2 LONG years dealing with ignorant dr's and I say ignorant not because of their book smarts, but because I feel that a person's ignorance is measured by how they treat others!!! I know how I feel and I know that what I am going through is real I didn't make these symptoms up... In fact I never even heard of Fibromyalgia until my dr brought it up to me. I feel everyone of these symptoms, and let me tell you sometimes they ARE horrible!!!!! I am very thankful for finding you guys, and my new doc... without those two things I would have been commited by now!!!!!! You guys are great!!! I talked to the Dr's office today and they were VERY helpful they will refer me to another rhuemy later if I want,but for now I am fine just getting treated by the GP.

I have been to many different doctors in my life and they all seem to think something different. And it seems like you are always asking questions, especially in your mind. I hate when one doctor says one thing and the other says another. I end up being so confused.

I stick with my regular doctor as much as I can. That is what you should do, unless something comes up, but don't see the reumy. He sounds like a realy jerk.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen

Patsie... sorry to hear that you had to deal with such a jerk as well... maybe they are related!!!! I can't believe people can be so mean!!!! WHAT??? Because they have a degree that makes them BETTER than me???

The Rhuemy TOTALLY through me off guard today because his assistant is who examined me and he was really nice and understood. THEN came the DINK.... he was nice at first then it just started going down hill... FAST! I have dealt with ALOT of mean doctors but I would have to say this one takes the cake!!!!

Julieleaps....
Oh I already told my dr I would not go back nor would I even go for the tests. I understand that he COULD have a valid points... but he certainly didn't make them good enough for me! : )

Call me stubborn but I will NOT follow through with ANY of HIS tests!!! MY dr can send me for them if he feels it is necessary. The way I look at it is I TRUST MY DOCTOR and HIS OPINIONS... I don't trust his!!!! HE not only told me that I was looking for attention (mind you I cancelled the first appointment with him)but he also told me 1st that my Tramadal was too low of a dose then he changed his mind and later stated that my med's don't work because I chose to not LET them work. He said that I have my mind set that they won't work so they don't.... yet he says I counterdict MYSELF!?!?! Just by saying that my headaches were "horrible" I wish that I had the time to give you a play by play... your mind would be boggled... mine certainly was!!!!

Boy; Don't I know it. Except, unless I get my medicine, I can't move. And if I can't move, what will become of me. I stiffen up like the tin man in the rain. Plus I'm going through absolute hell today, and yesterday from things I've discovered as I try to untangle the mess left by my dad and Stepmom when they were institutionalized. Also, and much more acutely all three of my sibs have called me a liar and theif, as they expected something from the sale of the farm and truth is, my stepmom ran up a fortune in debt gambling four nights a weeks. Tomorrow I see a pdoc and I am afraid he'll berate me because I had to use a few extra valium to get through this past month, due to all the bickering, nasty emails and phone calls and some of the documents I've uncovered. It apppears my stepmom may have been blackmailing my Dad in order to maintain a steady flow of funds to fund her gambling addiction. How do I deal with all this. Just thinking about it makes me ache all over?

I don't know how to deal with it all. The sibs were always and contínue to not only be absent, but no matter how I try to explain it, and I have tried to explain it, over and over, they don't seem to get what I am saying. My Dad was a Land Developer, and while he was doing that he had lot's of cash to throw around. My sibs were in everything, Hockey, Diving, Baseball, trips here, there, everywhere. I know my stepbrother was left out. He was shifted from one temporary home to another by my stepmother so she could control my Dad.Now she is in a coma like state, so I cannot ask her "what the h---?, i was always left behind looking after my mother who was sicidal, and drank and so on, catering parties for her, cleaning, paying bills, buying groceries, etc. Now my stepbrother also has a gambling problem and he also is mad at me because somehow he thinks there is something left he is being cheated out of, oce again. It's all so soap operish. I wish it were. I have got to let it go, somehow or it's going to eat me alive. Thank-you.

Hey Rach,

Most everyone has said things I was going to say .. so in an effort not to repeat I'll just give you a big ((supportive hug)) and let you know that I feel for you and hope you can find some releif soon.

Take care and warm hugs,

realpain,

Sorry you had to deal with that guy. One thing this dd teaches us is how to be an advocate for ourselves! You go!
One thought I had was that I have constant migraines and I have to be real careful about what pain meds I take for fibro b/c it can kick off a whole chain of migraines. Have you talked to your doctor about this? I cant take Ultram b/c of this...learned the painful way! I see a neuro at a Headache Clinic and they are good about telling me what class of drugs should be ok to take on a regular basis for my fibro pain. Hope it helps...

Dont let 'em ruin your day!
lost in philly

This is my rough draft but Ithought I would still share... I have decided to write the rhuemy... I just need to get it off my chest so that I can put it behind me!!!!  As always your input is welcome  : )   I know that I should have just told you what I felt while I was in your office, but that is not the type of person that I am.   I choose not to have confrontation in my life and if I would have told you what I thought at that time there would have been confrontation.   I try my best to respect authority figures because that is how I was raised.   You on the other hand must not have been raised quite like me.   You sat there and belittled me like I was nothing, all because I described a headache as being “horrible”.   Well you know what it was “horrible” and I am NOT defending that to YOU.     Have you ever had carbon monoxide poisoning??   I have, and you know what… I dealt with THAT pain just like I am dealing with THIS pain.   I only bring this up because of the fact that the headaches I get now resemble the ones I got when I had carbon monoxide poisoning.   They start in my neck and wrap around to the front of my head.   You may have had a valid point when you said that my headaches could be due to something more then the tension I have in my neck but you had no right to talk to me the way that you did.   Just because you have a degree in medicine, does not give you the right to treat your patients as if they are nothing!!!!   You made your point when you said that it could always be something more.   You did not have to go to the degree that you went to.   I do NOT have any underlying issues that cause me to “look for attention” nor did I write the word “horrible” as a cry for help!!!!   I wrote that because THAT is how I felt at that given time!!!   My brother dealt with migraines his entire life and I can tell you that he (on more then one occasion) described them as “horrible”.     I am appalled by the fact that you insinuated that what I go through was not a legitimate reason to feel the way that I do.   I would like to see you deal with unexplained pain for 8 ½ years without a diagnosis.   I would like you to spend thousands of dollars that you DON’T HAVE searching for answers and then just continue to get ridiculed by doctor after doctor.   I only said that I trust my doctor’s diagnosis because he has earned that trust with me!!!!   He is the only doctor that has ever taken the time to see that what I feel IS REAL!!!!!     I didn’t want to do any unnecessary tests because I don’t have the time or money to do so.   It is not like I came in there asking for pain medication, or saying that I thought I was dying.   I came to your office because MY doctor wanted me to be treated for my fibromyalgia.   I never wanted to see you; I only did it because my doctor felt that you could shed some light on things to HELP me… not knock me down!!!!     You sat there and told me that I needed to pay better attention to my body and my mind.   Are you kidding me????   If I had not paid attention to it do you think that I would have been there in the first place???   I just try to put it in the back of my mind sometimes (atleast the best that I can) because if I sit and dwell on the fact that I am in pain day in and day out I will drive myself insane.   I cannot sit here and think the worst of things all the time, if I did, I would be in the doctor’s office all the time.    You told me that because I didn’t think that my headaches could be due to a tumor then I was contradicting the severity of things.   You said that a person cannot use the word “horrible” to describe a headache, and then turn around and say that they don’t think it is anything to worry about .   Last I checked I was not a hypochondriac and I do not think that I am dying just because I have bad headaches!!! Like I said earlier my brother has had horrible headaches all is life (yes I said horrible) and he is fine, so why would I think that it HAD to be more????   I trust my doctor’s opinion on things as I should be able to.     It is people like you that make people like me quit seeing doctors!!!!   You sat there and talked down to me like I had no feelings.   You said things that implied that everything was all in my head.   You are a rude, arrogant individual and I hope that some day you realize that you are NOT better then everyone else just because you have that fancy medical degree!!!!  

GamJill,

 

You know... my dr is great and it took all if thisto make me truely appreciate him. So... I guess everything DOES happen for a reason huh??? : )  I am glad to hear that yours is good as well, they are hard to find these days!!!

 

Thank you all again... you guys are great!!!!

Rach, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've gone to rude doctors a few times in my life, not for fibro though. Like you I didn't know anything about fibro til my GP dxd me with it and told me to go home and research it. We had already been testing for things for quite awhile and it took an all out flare for it all to fall in place for my GP. I found a good rheumy but his treatment plan is no different than my GP's but I go to him for the arthritis in my hands. My GP would rather I go to a psych for my depression and anxiety meds since they know more about them but the only one I have been to was pushing a lot of meds on me and didn't understand my medphobia (yeah a psych that didn't understand medphobia) so I stopped going. I have been going to my GP for about 15 yrs so of course I'm very comfortable with him and he knows my history. I have been thinking about maybe finding another psych cause I shouldn't judge all of them by one bad experience and maybe they can get my meds right so I don't have all the problems I have. So I guess what I'm saying is we seem to both be very comfy with our GPs and feel safe with them but if there is a doc out there that can help us more we should give them a chance and not judge all docs from one JERK.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Tyno3,

 

You are in my prayers... you are dealing with an awful lot right now and to top it off your doctor doesn't believe in fibro??? Hang in there and feel free to vent ALL YOU WANT!!!!! You will be in my thoughts... make sure you let me know how things go!!!!  ((((♥HUGS♥))))