Uncomfortable in my skin

Hi! I am new here and honestly have never been one for message boards. I am learning how to use it so please bare with me.
I think I have always been kind of sickly with unknown illnesses or just unaddressed illnesses but nothing that has ever shut my life down like the last three years this June. I had what I now know was an ovarian cyst rupture that had me feeling pretty beat up for several weeks. When the pain didn't start to improve, I got worried. The rupture also set my cycle back several weeks and that resulted in the pregnancy of my fourth son (a wonderful blessing). The pregnancy was miserable. I would tell my doctor how bad the pain was but he blew off a lot of my symptoms. I basically spent the whole nine months in bed. As soon as I delivered, I left the hospital with an unstoppable UTI. After five back to back infections I was sent to an urologist who went on to diagnose me with IC. To this day I think that was a wrong diagnosis. I do have bladder problems but the sensitivity test they ran caused my problems to intensify a hundred fold. The meds never helped either. The fibro symptoms list tells the story of my last two years. about the only thing that I would add to the list is a lot of ovarian cysts and very painful sex.
Up until the last couple of months I have been handling life okay. I have a wonderful husband and the best four boys that I know (biased of course). Since I could no longer work from the pain and exhaustion, I decided to home school my kids and go back to college online. I have continued to try all kinds of doctors and medicines. All of this to say that I think I am finally running out of hope of ever feeling like myself again. My marriage is starting to have trouble because my husband is running out of patience with having to be the bread winner but also having to be near enough to help with the kids when I am having a bad day. It is a lot of stress for one person. Not to mention one of the basics of marriage, I can rarely provide because of the pain. My boys have handled everything better than I would have as a child. The oldest is only ten and they can handle all the chores and the running of the home better than some adults could. I am ready to be a part of my family again. I want to do the chores. I want to be the fun, loving wife that I was when we married. I can't help but feeling like a waste and like I have cheated my kids and husband. I just want to be better, even halfway better would suffice.
I know I sound pretty down but actually going through and reading all of your posts has really helped me not feel so alone in this.
Thank you for listening! Many blessings to all of you.

Hi Tired Mom!

And welcome to our Fibro Family! Nice to meet you. First off...please don't beat yourself up...we already hurt enough. I know the symptoms cause I've done it too and most others here have at one time or another. You are not cheating your kids out of anything. They have their mom with them and they love you very much. They accept you as you are. Kids are wonderful and resilient.

Next, slow down! It sounds like you need to accept fibro as part of your life. You will most likely never get the old 'you' back but that's OK. We are different, not bad, just different. Stick around and we'll show you tips and ideas for living a wonderful life in spite of your painful body. You will need to plan and manage the things you do physically. You may be able to do all of those things you used to do...just not all at the same time. Multi-tasking may be a thing of the past. But, many of us have found that those roses along the path smell mighty sweet at this speed.

As far as hubby goes...you need, more than ever, to keep the lines of communication flowing. He's mourning the loss of that person you used to be but when he learns to accept that you are still the one who loves every fiber of his being, who wants to be with him to the end, who wants to kiss his face when he comes through that door at night. It's just your body that's changed, not the real you. Take him along on a few doctor appointments!! He needs to hear it from someone who is an authority figure what you are going through. Include your kids in a simple explanation of what is going on with mom also. They will love the feeling of helping mom. I did with my parents until they took their last breaths.

OK, so I've rambled on way too long but I wanted to let you know there is hope...mountains of hope and we'll show you the way. Here, take my hand (extending hand) and we'll get you started.

Hugs,
Chutzie

I hope this an acceptable post here - I don't want to get too graphic -

Painful sex is something I have dealt with as well - abdominal swelling / pain afterwards even tho I've had a very good time - *winks*

I have also noticed I am sensitive to semen - withdrawal helps - not all the time but most of the time -

There are "sleeves" available that work very very well and can mimic penetration for them. Along with a nice warming lubricant - this at least allows for closeness and intimacy a marriage needs .

I know the effort to fix intimacy problems means the world to them - and have you noticed, most men are more than willing to do anything for you afterwards - LOL !

I personally would never set foot in an adult store because I'm way too embarrased - but there are consultants who sell it like Tupperware - I know this because I did this for a couple years. Somehow standing up in front of a room of grown women who were trying to enhance thie marriages wasn't quite as embarassing - it was educational.

I did what's called Passion Parties - and if you go online and look it up - there are many products for old married folks like us to enhance -

Our intimacy problems improved alot - because instead of being nervous about it hurting - we took more time to "play" and loosen up - in more ways than one. LOL !

4 kids is alot - sex is going to be less frequent anyway - but we have to make time for it - it's a stress reliever and important for our hormonal balance and it releases all those good brain chemicals.

My husband will often help me stretch out - and he is more than happy to give me a massage - we have a vibrating massage mitt and we use it with a candle that's made from massage oil - so it melts into this wonderful warm oil and between the heat pack and the vibrating mitt - it's HEAVEN.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))