HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

What a lonnnng strange trip its been...

Support Forums
>
Fibromyalgia
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 5/30/2009 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Greetings one and all...

Yes, I'm still a member of the living and yes, I know I've been MIA for the past month or so.  I've been busier than a bed bug in a brothel.

Since I went back to work, full time, w/ a one hour a day commute I haven't had much time to spend with you.. my dear friends and fellow fibromites.    And a lot has been developing over these past few weeks. 

As many of you know I lost my best fur-friend, Zeke, and it broke my heart to bits.  It was very stressful.  He really was a great dog, followed me every where and had a 6th sense of my needs.  He can never be replaced but my husband and I decided that it would be a good idea to check out the dogs at our local Humane Soc.  We brought a little guy home and named him Micky.  Now, Micky had a horrible start in life, he's only 1 year old and must have been abused terribly by a man, because he's terrified of my sweet husband (husband is 6'5" and a gentle giant of a man).  Micky has some serious healing to do and we're doing our best to be extremely patient with him.  One of his biggest problems is entering the back door of our house.  As soon as he gets to the door he freezes and just can't seem to make it through the threshold.  If anyone has some suggestions on how to make Micky more comfortable around my husband and getting through the back door please HELP!!!  I have a call into an animal trainer but $$ is really tight right now.. so I can use all the free advice there is.

So May has basically sucked for me.  My husband lost his job after 31 years.  I went back to work full time which comes with its stesses, my best fur-friend died suddenly and just to put a little more icing on the cake, I got my MRI results back and I now have degenerative disc disease.  I'm glad this month will be over and done with in a couple of days.  Hopefully no more bad things will happen in the months to come. 

But this is the remarkable part.... I haven't flared!!!  Now I don't know if I will after the "storm"... you know how we can be strong during the crisis and then have the melt down when its over.. so we'll wait and see.  But... I'm praying that I will get through this rough patch without a scratch. 

I HAVE been having some terrible back pain.. but I think that's due to the DDD (degenerative disc disease).  When I'm having a bad bout with my back my legs get very painful and weak.. but I know the difference between back problems and fibro.

Things at works should start settling down after next week and I'll be able to hop back on to the forum more often.. YAAAAY!!  We had our golf outing yesterday and I worked for almost 11 hours straight... fortunately I was given an easy task during the outing .. all I had to do was sit and watch a hole for the hole in one shot (of course no one made a hole in one), so most of the time I was just sitting under an umbrella enjoying a beautiful day.  But I was still not in my comfy chair at home.. and it was a long day.

OK... enough about me.. how are all of my favorite fibro-mightys doing???  Drop me a post and fill me in on how things are going for you.  I think of all of you all the time and miss our little "conversations".

Be well and for now.. gentle hugs,

Posted 5/30/2009 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hey; Pattipanda, good to hear from you Gal; The dog thing. I noticed recently, when we moved

 from country living, to Village Living, my little dog, (little, fellerhomebody) has balked at coming in the new house. I thought about it awhile, and came to the conclusion, it was the cleaning agent being used; Pinesol. So much like they use at the vets, and since he'd a bad experience with a vet and 129 porcupine quills, he didn't like, vets. So, make some meatloaf.  Bring him in backdoor just as it's cooling, have hubby offer him some, in his dish. Have hubby take over feeing. He'l soon get over his phobias.

Posted 5/30/2009 4:30 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Patti and welcome back to fibro-land!  It sounds like you have really been busy and I'm so glad you haven't flared from all the extra hard work you have had to do.  I have two discs that have degenerated also and they only add to the pain and frustration and for me, it's hard to tell whether the hip/leg/shoulder unrelenting pain is from fibro or the discs.

I lost my 18 year old dalmation, Vesta last saturday and am broken hearted.  I just wanted to tell you that when we got her she had been horribly abused by a man and left for dead in a ditch with six puppies.  It took her forever to warm up to my husband, and all men for that matter.  She barked at every man that walked in our house for the entire time we had her, with her tail between her legs, but once she realized they weren't going to hurt her, she settled down.  It is horrible what people do to animals.  Vesta would crouch every time I picked up a newspaper to read it, and forget a fly swatter.

My only suggestion is that you give it time and love your new puppy.  It takes a lot of work to reassure an abused animal.  Maybe Micky was never allowed in the house and doesn't know what the door is for! 

We are going to rescue another animal for us and our other dog Dylan in a month or so.  He is LOST without Vesta as they grew up together.  He spends most of his time staring out the window or door looking  for her.

Stay pain free, girl and congrats on your job and new furry friend!

Huggies

Donna

Posted 5/30/2009 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Patti!  It's great to see you again!  You sure have been busy but is sounds like things will settle down for you a bit soon.  I hope so. 

 

I think you have been given great advice.  I agree that you should have your husband take over the feeding duties.  We took in two feral cats...one of which was hurt badly by sitting on a truck motor and the owner started the truck.  This broke the kitten's hip and sliced a third of his tail off.  To this day, he stares, wide-eyed, at the ceiling fans!  Anyway, he was in my home for 2 1/2 years before he would let me pet him.  It does take time but they learn to trust the ones feeding them. 

 

Tyno had a great idea about the Pinesol.  I had never thought of that...the smell close to that of a vet's office.  The meatloaf idea is good, too.

 

So, just be patient.  Time and a lot of love and attention will bring your pup around and he will become your best friend.

Sherrine 

Posted 5/30/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Try to visualize life through Micky's eyes- what the doorway might look like, how you and your husband appear to him. He is just afraid of what he is going to find behind that door. As long as you consistently give him your love, which it sounds like you are great at, you will know he is starting to be more comfortable when he starts "testing" or teasing you - when he starts playing with you mentally, that will be the day he knows his nice new home is for keeps.
Posted 5/30/2009 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Patti and congratulations on your new baby! Oh the joy he will bring into your life!

I subscribe to the Whole Dog Journal and have really gotten some great advice from there. Also, there are some great animal behaviorists that work with the rescue group where we got our golden Benji from. They all agree on one thing...positive reinforcement and the best possible way to win him/her over is with the yummiest of foods! Be it hot dogs, boiled chicken, ground beef. Check the stores, they usually have some kind of chicken on sale, buy a whole one and just simmer it on the stove for a couple of ours, let it cool and just give him tiny bits, not big chunks, just tiny little bits. Have your husband keep a little zip loc bag of them near him, so he can constantly reward any positive behavior. Dogs are pretty smart and it doesn't take them long to catch on. You can use this reward method for just about anything...toilet training, obedience, positive reinforcement. If your dog isn't a food lover (what dog isn't??), then try to find a favorite toy, bone, something and use that. As far as the doorway, just keep rewarding him and telling him "good!!" or "yes" or anything you want to say, just keep repeating the same word, so he associates it with the food and coming through the door way. He will come around. You need to be patient with abused animals. We got Benji when he was 6, so he has some behaviors that are really tough to change. I'm not sure if he ever will, but we keep trying!
So good to hear from you and hear that things are going well at work. As far as not having a flare yet, I just wonder how much your positive mental attitude has to do with how you are feeling? Now I'm NOT saying it is all in our heads, believe me, I know better, but you are probably putting our some "feel good" brain chemicals and maybe that's helping you? Whatever, I'm happy for you!
Good luck with your puppy! By the way, if you want to order the Whole Dog Journal, you can google them. Once you subscribe, you then have access to the journal on line also. Each month, they have a trainer discussing something. I have found it to be invaluable and it's not terribly expensive, I forget not what it cost, something like $20 for the year, might even be less. Also, you can ask the people at the pound if they have a behaviorist that works with their agency.
take good care,
Miriam
Posted 5/30/2009 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
First I must say.. I'm so sorry about Vesta.  I'm there for you whenever you need a friend Donna.  I know how much you loved her from earlier this year when you had a bad scare with her.  Whenever I say your name Vestabula I thought you your spotted girl.  I hope you can start to heal as hard as it is now.  I still cry for my Zeke and I think from time to time I always will.. how can you NOT, when you've had a shadow for all of those years.  Donna, all of my dogs have been from a rescue situation and I know they become the best dogs you could ever ask for.  I hope when you are ready.. you find someone really special.

Thank you, friends, I have tried a few training things.  I have walked him with a leash in and out of the back door, I've used food, tons of praise and even our other dog, Chloe as bate.. lol.  The dogs are crazy about eachother and that was part of the reason I just HAD to go look for another furbaby.   I really think that Chloe will teach Micky more than I can.. and that would be great because Chloe is an AWESOME dog!!!  (probably the best dog I have ever had.. she's our yorkie-poo) Anyway.. I'm having more success in getting him to do the door thing.  Hubby.. not so much.  He started feeding Micky a few days ago.  The next step is walking Micky in and out of the house with the leash.

Anymore suggestions or input are welcome and appreciated.

Hugs till later..

 

Posted 5/30/2009 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
PS... I must have clicked submit at the same time as you Mirim.  Thanks for the great advice.. I'll check into the journal

I meant to tell everyone.. Micky is totally housebroken!!  So that's a BIG plus!!!

 

Posted 5/30/2009 10:36 PM (GMT 0)

Thank you so much, Patti for your kind words about Vesta.  I hope she is with Zeke, running through the clouds!  I agree with you about rescue dogs...they are the best.  Give Micky and Chloe a big hug for me and I'll imagine a wet sloppy kiss on my face.  Nothing like Doggie kisses to brighten your day.

Huggies

Donna

Posted 5/31/2009 2:16 AM (GMT 0)

Patti, I am so sorry about Zeke, it is never easy losing a loving 'puppy'.  Many yrs ago we had lost our beautiful Collie, Bairn, and we couldn't even look at another dog for awhile. We finally found a wonderful Scottie puppy from a loving family. We love that dog and several months later we decided to find him a 'brother'. We went to a shelter and found a beautiful sable and white Collie, like Lassie. He had been shaved down to the skin, b/c the former owner burned his fur. We brought this big boy home and hoped and prayed it would be a good thing. My children are dog lovers, my husband and I are big mushes, so we couldn't wait for him to love us. He was so afraid of my husband and 2 sons. My husband tried so many things to win his trust, finally it turned out a simple game of catch the soccer ball was the turning point. The change was dramatic. He was one of the most wonderful babies I have ever had. We lost him just over 2 yrs ago, shortly before I joined the forum. He was finally able to trust men again, followed my husband around everywhere. My baby's name was Donovan, he had been shaved down to basically a blond color, and he was rather mellow, so I thought of 'Mellow Yellow'. When his coat grew in he was gorgeous, many shades of red. I still can 'feel' his fur some times, I miss him.

I hope things continue to work out for you w/ work.  I'm so glad you haven't had a flare w/ all that has been going on in your life. I will keep you in my prayers.

God bless.  Alice.

 

Posted 5/31/2009 5:57 AM (GMT 0)
All of your stories have really touched my heart. I'll go to sleep tonight thinking about what wonderful people you all are. We love our pets like nothing else. Its different than the love you have for your family, because they love you so unconditionally. There's no B.S. with a pet.. doesn't matter if its a dog or cat or bird or whatever. They never ask for much and they are always there just to love you.. not strings attached.
God bless all pets and the owners that treat them well and love them so.
Good night all..
Posted 5/31/2009 2:37 PM (GMT 0)
Please remind me what it is like living in a house without pee and poo I seem to have forgotten.

 

Patti I think love and patience will bring many changes to Micky with time. Dogs have a 6th sense and he will realize what a loving family he has now and grow to trust all of you. I think having your husband feed him, walk him and play with him will pay off.

 

It's hard to believe that is going on a year since we lost Brandy. She was a very special little girl and we still cry over her even though we have two puppies that keep us busy. Having two dogs is a first for me but they are so cute together.

 

I'm glad you haven't flared through all these changes. Isn't fibro weird??? Things that you are sure is going to make you flare and pay dearly doesn't but then sometimes the smallest things can make us flare.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Posted 6/1/2009 1:45 PM (GMT 0)

It's so nice to hear from you!

Working long hours and everything you are going through and no flare! That is good news. :-)   And Micky- I get madder than a hornet when I read these stories about animal abuse. My sister's dog "Daisy" who passed away from old age a year ago was so badly abused and neglected she did not even bark when they first got her from a shelter. sad It was the passing of time and love that Daisy began to bark. Micky is in a good, loving home now and I know he will thrive with some time.

Hang in there Patti!

Jill

Posted 6/2/2009 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
Wow! The back door thing.. I'd forgotten that. My Dalmatian was that way when we got her and the only thing we could figure was that she had been caught in a slamming screen door. We got her almost cured of it and my husband (of whom she has always been afraid!) accidentally slammed her in it one day when the wind caught the door. It was back to square one!

The trainer we used told us that she should always go thru the door AFTER one of us, never first, and to use the food rewards. It worked pretty well... just lots of patience. Then one day she saw a squirrel thru the window at our brand new bird feeder and couldn't wait to get thru the door to get out... Then she realized it was cold out there (early fall cold snap) and she couldn't wait to get in! For some reason that day was the turning point. I'd use "squirrel" as the magic word to get her out and "treat" as the magic word to get her in. "Treat" may be something as small as a pinch from a piece of bread but it worked.

Good luck with this.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply