This week has been such a stressful one for me. First of all, my boyfriend has been struggling with horrible back pain for about three weeks now, and his doctors have finally concluded that it must be his MS. He lays on the floor in agony all the time and there is nothing that helps him. I can hardly stand seeing him in such misery and not being able to do anything to help. He is a forklift driver for the factory where we both work, but obviously he can't drive right now, so he was doing work in the office of his department, because his doctor wrote a note restricting him from driving. But, after a week, human resources caught wind of it (from an angry co-worker who decided to run her mouth) and they said that if he can't perform his full work duties then he's not allowed to work at all. So now he's out of work until he gets better, and who knows how long that will take.
As for me, I've been working full time, doing all the housework, all the cooking, all the laundry, and taking care of his daughter. My pain was a little better for about a week or two, but needless to say I've been running myself to the point of exhaustion every single day, and today it finally caught up to me. I felt absolutely horrible, and had to take a day off of work, which will be devastating to us financially. We're already behind on car payments, credit card payments and, of course, medical bills. My phone got shut off because I couldn't afford to pay the full bill. I payed as much as I could afford but I guess it wasn't enough. We don't have a landline phone, so it's frustrating, and it will be almost a month until I might be able to afford to get it back. It's my week to buy groceries, and I can't afford more than about $60 dollars at the most. Back when it was just me at my apartment, I'd just go hungry if I couldn't afford anything, but here there are three other people counting on me, and it's humiliating.
What's worse is I just found out that work has been cancelled for me tomorrow, because business has been so slow. Now I will lose two days of pay instead of one, which is an absolute disaster. I don't know what we're going to do. I can't support everyone financially and be the only person to do all the housework. It's too much. I am so stressed out, and it is making everything worse. No matter how hard I try, I just can't calm down. My pain won't stop, it just gets worse and worse. I cannot sleep, no matter what medications I take to help me. I just toss and turn all night. I wish I knew what to do... how to make this better. But I just feel helpless.