hopeless & lonely

Now that I quit my job I hardly see or speak to anybody and I am so lonely! My days are measured by waiting for the mail to arrive or a phone call, waiting for some good news from SSD or long term disability. I have had so much bad luck for the past 2 years, something good has to happen soon. Right? Good things do still happen to good people right?
I cry all the time and I am so tired of being sick and in pain! I know that I need to reach out to people or make new friends but I dont know what I have to offer someone right now. Normally I am a good friend. Fun, funny, goofy, good listener etc. But right now I feel like my illness is above all else and me as a person is a small second, you know? I dont want to live like this but I dont know how to change it. I feel like all my healthy friends wouldnt want to hear about my pain or my problems and what would that help to complain anyway, so I never tell them anything anyway.
I feel so isolated and alone and tired of living this way. I always thought that I would have a much better attitude about being sick...but I dont feel brave at all.

Lost..

I'm so sorry for your loneliness, and I understand how you feel about your disease. I also feel sometimes like my illness occupies all my thoughts. And when I talk it's all me me me and my illness. It seems a compulsive need to find a way around this..some cure to give me my life back the way it was. I keep reaching out to people hoping that someone will give me some clue to help me find how to help myself. Of course it isn't working very well. Luckily for me my sister in law lives with us and she has MS. Her symptoms are so much like mine that we can empathise and she is a very big help to me in so many ways. I just don't know how I could have coped had she not been here.

But also other friends who don't have my problem and similar problems...some with brain fog..nothing else but thery relate to that and we can share those thoughts.

Try your friends. Believe me if they were truly your friends they do NOT give up on you. They will be understanding.

You need an outlet. Everyone does sometimes. Perhaps you can find a support group in your area for Fibro. One that you can meet with people and be able to vent out loud with those who do understand. I find this site to be such a blessing for me!

Also I noticed you are taking both Savella and Wellbutrin. When my doctor first prescribed Savella for me and I noticed it was also a drug for depression I called his office and he took me off of Celexa. Sometimes our doctors are unaware of all the meds we are taking. I thought maybe my taking too many anti depressants might not be a good thing so called his office to make sure. You might do the same in case it's confilicting and making you more depressed. Just a suggestion.

Be well hon..

I understand your loneliness. I go through that a lot myself. I actually don't really have any friends at all, at least not ones that live near me. I have one best friend that lives out of state, and we only ever talk online. It's really hard not having any friends that you ever get to see in person.

Recently I did start attending a drum circle that meets once a month. It's very fun and everyone there is really nice. I did meet a few people there that I like a lot, and I'd like to consider them friends, but it's hard to become good friends with someone if you only see them once a month or less. So as much as I'd like to be friends with them, they might not ever become anything more than acquaintances. This one guy said I should attend other similar events, but unfortunately all of the other local events either cost too much, or are too far away and neither me nor my old rickety car can really handle long drives. So for now I'm stuck with just my once a month drum circle. Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy playing music and socializing with people at these gatherings, but it just doesn't feel like enough, and I am still lonely much of the time. This probably sounds crazy, but sometimes I find myself wishing that I had an imaginary friend to keep me company.

I agree with what Jhemi said about trying to find a fibro support group. I'd attend one myself if there were any in my area, but so far I haven't been able to find any. If you can't find one of those then maybe try to find some other group you can attend. A drum circle like I do might not be for you, but there might be other groups that do activities that you would enjoy. Can't promise that you'll make new friends, but sometimes just being around people helps, at least for a little while.

Maybe you could volunteer at a local library or teen center ... that way no one can require you to do anything.
At the very least, what if you took a nice slow walk around the neighborood? You could go only as far as you wanted but you might meet some neat people closeby thataway.