hubby doesn't understand/and cymbalta question

It was confirmed on Tuesday by my rheumy that I do have fibro, but she also thinks my back pain is from my bulging discs and not related.  She put me on cymbalta the lowest dosage possible.  so I have taken 2 pills, one tuesday nite and then one last night,  today I feel a little more spacey than usual, if that's possible,  I am definitely more irratable but that could be due from alot of things, pms is probably the most likely one.  and I am a little more "shakey" today with my hands, but not bad.  so was just wondering if the "spacey" feeling was just me or if could be from the cymbalta with just starting on it.  I'm not dizzy or lightheaded, just spacey.

now for dear hubby,  if I may please vent a little.  I work 40 hours a week,  so I worked my 8 hours yesterday, plus got a B12 shot during lunch, went to the grocery store after work, and was home at 5:00,  I then made a blueberry coffeecake,  put it in the oven and then made spagetti and sauce for supper,  by 5:45  while the coffeecake was still baking, burning on top and still like cake batter in the middle, I realized I forgot to put salt in it.  It was suppose to be for our bible study.  so at 6:00 I pulled a cake mix out of the cupboard and mix it up, bake it, boil frosting for it and we are out of the door by 6:48 to go to bible study.  at 9:00  when we finally get home and I'm in alot of pain, I relax on the sofa and start to read a book,  my husband asks if I am in alot of pain, and I told him yes,  he suggests that I keep moving!  that should help it and fix everything!  by the way when I don't have anything going on at night I try to get in a walk (1 mile).  He also questioned my prescription of hydrocodine with the cymbalta,  my rheumy had printed out everything for me which helps alot, and so I just shoved the paper in his face and told him to read it himself.    thanks for letting me vent.  and by the way, the cake did turn out and everyone loved the boiled frosting I made  (carmel)

Hi there,

If I did everything you did in a day, I would be collapsed by 9:00 at night, If I made it that far. You do a lot. I know it is hard when your husband doesn't understand. I don't blame you for telling him to read that paper himself. I hope that he understands in the future though and doesn't tell you to move around when you have been doing that all day long.

I am lucky, my husband does understand and sometimes does too much for me. I appreciate it, but if I don't do for myself, I wont be able to do anything. So I am stubborn sometimes and do things when he isn't looking. lol...

Hugs, Karen

WOW...I don't think I could keep up with you.  I would be so wiped out.  I have been on cymbalta for over a month now, and luckily it is a med that I can take and has helped.  But everyone is different with meds.  It was trial and error for me when they diagnosed my anxiety and then the fibro.  Amtripiline works for some but not me.  Take your time.  And the folks here are so wonderful and full of wonderful advice.  They have really helped me with dealing with my fibro. 

Sending a gentle and warm hug your way.

tammie

Wow, that's too bad. Does he know how much worse it is for you??

Thanks everyone, and I doubt hubby will ever really understand. I had him give me a neck/upper shoulder massage for less than 5 minutes last night and he was complaining about his hands hurting, and that I wouldn't want to trade places with him. hmmm, hands vs whole body. WhiteChocChip- I'm sorry your hubby feels that way, or says that to you. I think we all worry that will happen with us and our spouses, hang there, you are not alone.

Big soft hugs,
Diane

Styrofoam! Donna even without really trying, you crack me up. And I need a laugh most days.

Thanks Marlee and everyone else for making me feel so welcomed. I am 49 so no spring chicken either. I know I do too much, and I am finding out that driving (which I don't mind at all) for long distances is more of a challenge. My rheumy is 60 miles away. I don't have to make meals very often, my husband is a police officer and works the night shift, going in about the time I get home from work. And most of the time I let him do the dishes (dishwasher) and of course vacumn, and if he is around he takes out the dog for her little bathroom break. so there are a few nights when I get off of work, i just go home and rest and relax. I don't think I am ready to give up planting my flowers, but the weeding might have to be done by someone else. But I have given up volunteering at adopt a pet with the cats/kittens, although I still go up there on saturdays and take the pictures for them, and yes I hurt, ache, burn, stabbing pain at times, but most of the time it doesn't compare to my back, I guess I've lived with pain for so long and am stubborn enough I just keep going when I can. Last year at this time I couldn't walk a block and certainly wasn't standing up straight. And even though I knew it was going to almost kill me, I went horseback riding on vaction with my grandkids and daughter and daughter in law for 2 hours. Yes, i was in tears by the end, praying that the ride would end, but I wouldn't have missed watching my grandkids ride their horses at age 4 and 7.

Wow Diane you do do a lot. I could never handle all that unless I am having a superwoman day ( thats what I call it) Once in a blue moon. It's enough to chase after my grandson. I am so glad I don't have to work. I don't kow how I would. I am taking Cymbalta. I was nauseated for about 1/2 weeks. I started on 30 mils then 60 after a week. The nausea goes away that is with most antidepressants. It has helped with the pain a lot though. The difference is I get most of my pain at night now instead of all the time. Sometimes so bad I can't sleep and sometimes it comes an goes. I am sticken with Cymbalta untill it stops workin. I'm so sorry about your husband. Mine is a gem. he is a disabled vet who has a lot of his own problems so we take care of eachother. He is very understanding. I hope things get better for you. Prayin for you.

I agree with others (although I have forgotten who they were now)  who said they were exhausted after reading what you did all day.   It must be hard for others to understand when we cannot understand ourselves, sometimes.  There are days when the thought of walking to the bathroom makes me want to cry and days when I can walk 10 to 15 minutes.  There was even one day when I walked through most of Ikea without my cane!  I was totally shocked I could do it. 

The other day I scratched my leg then said "ouch ouch ouch, that hurts!!!"  Hubby asked, "what's wrong??!!"  I told him I was having a flare and I just scratched an itch and it hurt like the dickens!

Oh and that hand comment reminded me or something someone did (it just made me think.)  A person said, "I have a headache.  Dang!  I wonder why I have a headache.  This sucks!"   I did sympathize with him.  However, I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be wonderful to to be surprised so much by a headache and wonder why you have one?"  Usually it is the other way around, "wow, I do not hurt a lot today.  This is odd and so totally cool!  I wonder why I am not hurting?"

It is so tough when others do not understand.  It is great that we have one another here.  So welcome and I am glad you joined the group because we need the support of others who actually do understand!

Sue

Wow GSDgirl,  you make ME tired!  I know how much work there is with the dogs, horses, etc....   and the garden too,  not just watering and weeding, but bringing it in and fixing it.  I still assist the local dog trainer with classes, both basic and advanced obedience training, so I get to play with a rottie alot.  I also have a shiba inu that has gone thru the classes - she was and still is very very shy.  she was almost comatose when we first started with her as a puppy at less than 6 months.  but she passed her canine good citizenship test.  and yep, your husband sounds alot like mine, they just don't get it.  mine also thought that one of the guys he works with should have walked 2 miles into town in a blizzard to work because he would have.  good thing I am just as stubborn, and when I absolutely can't do something, I don't.  although a couple years ago I was on a trip to Colombia South America with compassion,  and on the last day there in the morning while we were walking past a drug lord's house, I stepped on a stone and rolled my ankle,  of course I kept walking on it all that day to go site seeing and then running on it the next day with airplanes, etc...  a month later I finally went to the doctor and he said I tore 2 ligaments in it,  ooops,  and yes that is one of the spots that aways hurts on me.  It helps when people at bible study take a look at me and know how much pain I'm in and comment on it,  then of course hubby is a little more understanding.  Have a good weekend everyone.

Diane

Hi Cpdwife and welcome. I agree that accepting fibro comes with time for our mates. My DH lived with a workaholic perfectionist for many, many years so he knows what I was like before fibro and what I have become since. He knows without asking what kind of day I am having by what I am doing if I'm up and working I'm having a good day if I haven't gotten much done I'm having a bad day. We really don't even have to talk about fibro anymore. The other night I was hurting so bad I was up and down trying to find some position to get comfy and he came over behind me and started rubbing my back and shoulders without saying a word cause he knows where my worst pain is. Yes, I thanked him from the bottom of my heart for doing that cause it does feel good at the time and I know he gets tired and he hurts too at his age. I guess it is a matter of taking care of each other at this stage of our lives.

 

Don't give up girls all good things come with time. I know you want them to be understanding and compassionate now.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Denise, I told Karen this morning in an e-mail that I was determined to get my year old shih tzu to where I can take her off the leash and she will stay with me. I should have started this last summer when she was tiny but last summer was not good for me in any way and I was lucky to get them out to walk. We have about five acres of open field behind us so she has plenty of room to learn. Our bichon we lost going on two years ago was never on a leash unless we went for a walk. Our bichon we have now I wouldn't even attempt to let off the leash, I'm not having much success teaching her anything she is so heard headed.

 

It's funny we all have dogs that we are so devoted to in spite of what we go through with our health. My boys and most of my grandchildren don't really need me that much anymore but my two girls do and I need them.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee