Support running out

I am in so much pain that it makes me sick to my stomach. I am down emotionally. My husband has been great up to this point but I think he is getting tired of hearing about it. I know he cares but when he asks me if I am ok and I say no, he sighs. And to make matters worse he has back pain, shoulder pain and foot pain. We are both falling apart. I need to be there for him like he has been there for me I just wish that I didn't feel so bad.

Sheila,

Sounds like you're in a touch situation, all right. (I should remember this, but what kind of family or other support do you have?)

I know where you're coming from, because exactly 2 years ago, my mom had just died the week before, my dad was having to move to assisted living and getting weaker by the day (turned out he had ALS and died in October) , and I was the one "in charge." My brother is worse off than I, my husband works all the time, and there was no one else. My husband was having vomiting attacks that were pretty scary because we didn't know what was going on there. He had always been the strong one who was never sick, and now I had to manage this, too. Our cat had a couple of mouth surgeries/tooth removals at that time, too. I felt like I was running a very long sprint, which I'm still recovering from.

One day at a time, that's all you can do. Your intentions are good, and I'm sure your husband knows that. We do our best, and then, after a certain point, what happens isn't ultimately determined by us. God, or fate, or the universe, (or whatever you believe in,) has the major power.

Sending healing thoughts,

You can make a pact with one another to not talk about health.  He knows you aren't feeling well.  Your body language tells him that.  He loves you and wants you to feel good but he also knows there isn't anything he can do for you, either.  That is especially frustrating for a man.  AND you know that his back bothers him, his foot and shoulder hurts and he isn't up to par, either.  Both of you decide, together, that you will help one another the best you can and enjoy each new day together.  Just take one day at a time and enjoy your day the best way possible. 

 

Maybe by not talking about the health problems you both have, you will not zero in on them as much and can feel a little better.  I'm sure you can find some things you both can do together that you both enjoy, too.  

 

Sherrine 

Thanks everyone. Today he asked how I was doing and I said the same but didn't go into it. Today has been bad but I didn't want him to know. I could tell by the way he was walking that he was in pain. Asked him how he was doing and his response was the same as mine. I think we are both just tired of it all. We aren't getting any younger and that scares us. We have a specials needs daughter that depends on us, so we have got to try and stay healthy for her sake.

Don't know what I am gonna do about this sleep. I am wide awake and tired. I was able to get about a 30 minute nap today. I wish there was a button I could push that would make me go to sleep.

Costo. was bad today and that blasted knee is still hurting not to mention the good old fibro. pain. Man, I am tired of this. I want to sleep so bad.

One thing you shouldn't do is go on Ambien or something like that. I was on it for five years and recently quit it on my own. At first it was wonderful. I slept at night. However, after a while, I had to move up to the Ambien CR, and then I had to start taking other meds with it to get it to work better. Finally, it was taking hours to work and I hated the binge eating it was making me do in the middle of the night. After I quit taking it, I didn't sleep for 3 nights (just an hour the first night, maybe two hours the second. I stopped on a Wednesday night and saw my sleep doctor (who is also a pulmonologist) the next Monday. I told him I had stopped taking Ambien, and the reasons, and he asked me how it was going. I told him the night before I saw him I had slept 5 hours. He asked me if I was a clock watcher. I told him yes. He asked me why. I told him that when I worked, I needed to know what time it was because then I knew I HAD to get to sleep; now that I no longer work, I just wanted to know how many times I woke up during the night. He said to TURN my clock radio around. If I woke up during the night and it was DARK, turn over and go back to sleep. Don't look at the clock. If it was LIGHT out, then it was time to get up. He said the anxiety from thinking I wasn't going to get to sleep was making me having trouble getting to sleep! Seems so simple now.

My husband has worked shift work over the last 20 years, and I have also, and that has contributed to my sleep problems.

This same doctor told me last year that I would never be able to get off Ambien for the rest of my life since I had taken it so long and also that even if he worked intensely with me, I would probably still need it 3-4 times a week. I wish I had time and money to work with him intensely. I told him I'd have to be admitted somewhere to work on my sleep problems because I have had a problem with sleep all my life, although the FM has made it worse. He's two hours away, though, and I'm not up to driving that distance on a regular basis.

Of course, that didn't solve my problems. I'm naturally a night owl, and if I'm left to my own devices, I will stay up until 4 a.m. and sleep until noon (it doesn't help that my husband gets up at 3:30 to go to work). Seems my body just wants to do that. It's a problem when I keep my grandchildren, though, or have appointments in town or go out of town. Now that I'm off my Ambien, I have started taking Xanax about an hour before bedtime to get rid of the anxiety about thinking about sleep, then I'm taking trazodone and Soma to get to sleep. It's actually working pretty good.

I hope some of this helps you.