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Help needed with having to stay at home

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Posted 6/17/2010 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

 

Looking for some help here. I have been home now since Feb.09 because of Fibro. I had to leave a job I adored as the fatique and pain were too much. Even after all of this time I still have no proper schedule or routine.  When working we get up at a certain time, go to bed at a certain time etc. but being at home with no kids...she has moved out... I don't do this. The only time I really feel I have any schedule or routine is when I have appointments otherwise I feel like I am just floating along with no purpose.  I have either been going to school or working for the last 35 years and now nothing. Has anyone else felt this way and was able to change it???

 

Thanks,

 

Lorraine

Posted 6/17/2010 3:12 AM (GMT 0)
Lorraine,

Well, yeah, I know what you're saying. I've worked as a teacher's aide and a substitute teacher. I still sub, but it's stressful and I can't do it all the time. But I did have 3 kids, and I was extremely occupied in taking care of my parents in the last few years of their lives. Their deaths (in '08) coincided with our last daughter going off to college.   I often don't find myself brushed, washed, dressed, etc. till noon, even though I'm up at 7! And nobody cares! In a way, it's a relief, in a way, it's....empty. I look around, and all the things I really want to do are too physical!

Of course, I still have my parents' taxes to file, but who wants to do that kind of stuff? :) Ugh.
Posted 6/17/2010 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
Lorraine, I'm a widow and my adult children are on their own.  It would be very easy for me to not have plans, sleep in, etc., but I don't like that.  One day runs into the next and there is no purpose to my life that way.  I'm also disabled and have a severe hearing loss.

 

I set my alarm.  I usually wake up about 6 AM but set my alarm for 6:30 AM.  I love the morning and love seeing the sun come up and the dew on the plants.  After getting up and getting dressed, I will take my dog for a walk...about a half to three quarters of an hour.  That gets my body moving.

 

I always have a plan for the morning.  I poop out in the afternoons so I will read, do genealogy, or get on the forum in the afternoon.  This morning's plan was to clean the house.  Tomorrow's plan is run to the drug store and the grocery store.  I never plan too much because I don't want a flare.  Having a goal and reaching it makes me feel good and productive.  Sometimes it's gardening or maybe cleaning the shower, or running errands, etc. 

 

I plan nice meals for myself and in the evening I will sit down and watch television or a movie I've recorded.  I go to bed around the same time every night, too.  This creates a sleep schedule and this helps me sleep a little better at night.

 

By doing these things, I still feel productive.  I'm here to help my family, friends, and forum family.  This helps me a lot, too.  I'm active and not "vegetating".  You might give this a try.  It works very well for me.

 

Sherrine

Posted 6/17/2010 3:35 AM (GMT 0)
Sherrine, I really admire you, reading the way you structure your life. Gives me something to work towards. I think my problem is, as Lorraine said, without an appointment it's easy to just float along, going which way the wind blows.
Posted 6/17/2010 3:52 AM (GMT 0)
I know what you are talking about Achey.  Been there and done that.  But my days seemed so much longer that way and I just felt like I was existing...not living.  That's when I decided to plan each day.  This way, I am able to accomplish a lot more then if I just did things when I felt like it.  I never felt like it so nothing ever got done!  turn  

 

Give it a try.  Really.  I think you would feel  better and really start living again.  Don't let fibro steal your life.

 

Sherrine

Posted 6/17/2010 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
Dear rascal, I know what youre going through. I left my job in October of 09 because of the fibro and fatigue. However for me when I was working that was the only thing I got accomplished. I would come home and be so exhausted that nothing else got done. and like you I just sort of drifted along. Then my one son gave me such a hard time about being lazy that I decided it was time to put my being home to use by cleaning up this mess that I called home. In the last few months I have made alot of accomplishments as far as cleaning and I do it at my own pace but with each thing that I get done it makes me feel as if I have a purpose again. I still have a long ways to go and by the time Im done it will be another job maintaining it. However for now it is my way of feeling like I am earning my disability checks gives me a feeling of self worth.
Im not saying this is what you should do it is just the way I am handling not working. If you really want to get back in the work force there are places like Vocational Rehabilitation that can help you find something.

Sincerely
Shirley
Posted 6/17/2010 1:31 PM (GMT 0)
I have a sugestion have you though about volenteering some where not every day but a lot of places need a hand, but be sure to let them know there may be days when you can't help out and will need to be replaced.
I started doing this I have made great friends they understand I can only do this if I am having a good day. I now look forward to the days I work. What am I doing I work in a tourist information centre, we can get busy at times but my DH work with m so if things get busy he takes over. I love it we have people from all over the work come through so every day is different. Now we are lucky our man ager is also a family friend so she understand I have bad days when I can't work. Also in our church we are leaders of a retired group I am 48 and my husband is 52 so it may seem strange we have been doing this job for yers now and we both love the job. Again it suits me if I am having a bad day I don't so and this is fine.
You may need to look around to find a place that suits you.

Kathy
Fibro, chronic fatigue, migraine, menopause
Posted 6/17/2010 1:54 PM (GMT 0)
What about making a list of the things that you would like to accomplish during the day. It would be kind of like a schedule. That is what I do, I cross things off as I acomplish them and eventually the list is empty and the day is almost over. Do give yourself some time to relax and enjoy life. I know that fibromyalgia puts a damper on our lives, but I still think we can feel fullfilled.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 6/17/2010 9:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

 

 Thank you so much everyone for your fabulous answers.   It is not too often that I ask questions here...always reading...and I sure do feel better when I do. It is so great to have friends that totally "get it"

 

I am going to try each one of your suggestions. The only thing I cannot do which is probably the thing I would get up for is volunteering. In my working life I was the director of a charity for people with special needs and we counted on volunteers so much so I know i would love it. The problem is I am in the process of fighting CPP (Canada Pension Plan) for my disabiliy benefits and I am not allowed to volunteer. In order to get the benefits you basically have to be able to do nothing.

 

My hubby also makes it too easy for me... hahaha. He has become the chef and comes home from work and then makes dinner and he does most of the housework...darn him hahahaha.  He always was a great guy but it took me getting sick to see just what a fabulous human being he is. He gets up at 4:30 to go to work so I cannot count on him to get me up.  I will try the alarm thing and the lists and let you all know how it goes.

 

  

I love all of you for making me feel so much better wink

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