I can't have my kids lean against my arms- I feel so sad

Does anyone here have this problem? I am not diagnosed with fibro (have not been tested yet) but a lot of my symptoms point to it. Anyway, I feel so bad for my kids because we always read books together every night as part of their bedtime routine and lately I have had to tell them it hurts mommy to have them lean against my arm. Sometimes i just try and stick it out and deal with it though. I feel so bad because they are so young that i am not sure if they understand. For those with young kids, what do you tell them?

Please don't feel guilty. I know it feels like you are missing something or that they are missing something, but I don't think that is the case. They won't remember whether or not they could lean against you, put their heads on you, etc. They WILL remember that you took the time to lie down with them and read to them.

As far as what to tell them, WCC had some good advice. Or you don't have to "explain" anything if they are too young to understand. You could just say, "Let's move over here where it's more comfy" or "Put your head on this pillow instead of my arm because you can see better." Kids are very susceptible to the power of suggestion. If you try to convince them that there is a better way for them, often they will just go with it.

It took me a while to teach my daughter that she couldn't play roughly with me. When she was younger, I would just try to move her or redirect her attention. When she was older, I just explained that I had a medical condition and she couldn't touch me very hard.

Guilt can be such a large part of a chronic illness, especially when you have kids. Please don't blame yourself or feel like you or they are missing something. You spending time with them is what is important.

Hugs - Austen

When I first got diagnosed with the tumor, and I got sick and sicker from chemo, my 6 year old was concerned majorly for mommy. So I told him I had big owies in the inside and doctor gave me icky medicine that makes mommy sick to help get owies all better. And he would even kiss my eye (where my tumor is) to try to make it all better. I still read to him, I had him put his head on my lap while I read so he still could get that close contact. On my really bad days, I just would go to my bed and have him crawl up in the bed and lay down next to me as I read. He'd either stay the night with me or when someone got home, got moved back to his bed for me. He understood mommy had big owies on inside, and would do the darnest things, like want to take out the trash so I cleverly switched our main garbage to plastic grocery bags so it would be small enough for him to do it. He also liked to take my dishes to the sink. Oh, and he loves to "cook". I let him mix everything, then I "take a turn" after him. That way, he still got the much attention he needed and he felt very grown up and loved.